Going away without DH

I'm glad you told him. Hopefully when he sees how much pleasure you get from going he will thaw.

If my husband and I wanted to do things in our own groups then we did it, with each others blessing. He went cycling or fishing with friends and I might go pony trecking in Iceland or crafting in wales. For goodness sake, we are all individuals and there should be enough comfort and trust in a marriage. It is not about `allowing` how dare anyone even think that they would be `allowed` to take time out. Our marriage lasted 45 happy years until I became a widow. We have never had jealousy problems, trust was implicit from the day we met

All relationships are different but some can be controlling but I don't think it is healthy to live in each others pockets.
Even in a relationship we are individuals with out own needs and wants and it's good to share our lives with others outside of that relationship.
Just tell your husband straight away you are going on holiday with your sister, next time you go away he'll get used to it.
My husband goes away once a year to do competitive bowling, I am invited if I want but choose not to go.
I will be going away with a friend later on this year for a few days and there is no issue at all with my husband.
We have been married almost 50 years and are not jealous of any friendships we have outside of our marriage.

RR - congrats for booking the holiday. I hope that you have a great holiday with your sister.

Whoops! I didnt read the bit about you booking. Good for you and I am sure you will have a great time. Stand up to him and dont let him dictate anything to you in future. x

I think you need to mention it sooner rather than later. Tell him you have been asked and you want to go. If he sulks then tough! We only live once and dont let him spoil it for you. Go!

Glad to hear that you have booked your holiday.
It struck me odd that he asked to see the email, but perhaps that's just me.
Have a great time.

Well done on booking the holiday RamblingRosie I was concerned about how suspicious your husband was, that can become very wearing, I sympathise.

Well done RR if he sulks just let him get on with it. and ignore his childish behaviour. You have made a stand. Have a great holiday.

Just an update I’ve booked the holiday! DH is not happy but to be honest these days there is very little that he is happy about. He wanted to see the email from my sister confirming she had asked me and also the link to the walking holiday website. Then he said it was a lot of money - it isn’t. At that point I just walked away

I'm glad that you've made what I think is a sensible decision RamblingRose. I adore my husband and love spending time with him, but he often works away or takes himself off on trips or holidays and I do the same. We don't either of us need to ask permission, but we do discuss our plans with each other just as a matter of interest. (Though I confess that I had actually forgotten he was working away from home last night - good job he phoned me before I'd cooked dinner! )

Well done RamblingRose in this day and age it is important to stand one’s ground and not be dominated by a partner either male or female.

Thank you everyone, such good advice as usual!
Yes he is perfectly capable of looking after himself, and
it isn’t the first time I’ve been away without him. When I was working I went away quite a lot on business, but since we’ve retired he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t go out on his own and pulls a face when I tell him I’m going to see a film, even though I’ve asked him if he wants to come and he says no.
We will have 2 holidays together this year that have already been booked
I shall tell him about the holiday this weekend and then book it.

I've been away without dh more than once, no issues at all.

He's been away without me several times - trips I'm not interested in (e.g. battlefields) or visiting his own relations abroad - I didn't know them, it was a very long flight, and frankly I couldn't be bothered.

I don't think you should feel at all bad about it, OP, and your dh IMO would be very selfish to object.
If he can't cook and doesn't want to try, there are always ready meals.

I used to fly here there and everywhere with my friend and DH didn't mind one bit. I used to really enjoy myself while away knowing that I wasn't going to return home to a long face. He wouldn't fly anyway and it was always cheaper to go abroad and also be guaranteed decent weather. As long as I brought a gift back all was well.

Sorry, but this is alien to me.
I would not hesitate to go and DH would be fine about it.
It's a standing joke in our house that I have never in over 40yrs asked DH about going somewhere, whether that's a coffee with a friend a night out or a few days away. I tell him
He has always been fine with that and will say "go and enjoy yourself" equally I would say the same to him.
Is you DH able to cook for himself ? Will he miss you doing the chores maybe ?

I have been on breaks/holidays in recent years with my single friend and also a widowed friend. My dh doesn't mind at all. He evens drives us to the airport. I have to leave a full cupboard of food though ??

I have been going away without DH almost since we married = courses, work and leisure, trips with friends and DD and I go off on short special interest breaks that would bore him rigid - and he does the same. They both went off on an airshow weekend in the Autumn and we plan a textile hoilday later this year.

Is this the first time you have will have been away without your husband RamblingRosie?
If it is then you need to give him time to get used to the idea. Talk about it, don't present him with a fait accompli, have a discussion with pros and cons. As others have said you can plan a holiday with your husband later.

All the time. He has one passion that I'm not particularly interested in which takes him away for a few days several times a year. The other is sailing in the Med on a friends boat. Sometimes I go on this but it's mainly a jolly for the boys. I go away on retreats with friends and daughter and general holidays.

It sounds a lovely holiday to have with your sister.I have had several short breaks away with my daughters without my husband.He has also had walking and camping trips on his own and trips to Australia to visit his daughters.As I am working I'm unable to take leave for a six week holiday to Australia.We do have holidays together and with my family.Trust is important,as well as maintaining some independence.Enjoy your holiday.

I often holiday with my girlfriends or siblings. Several times a year we take short breaks without OH. He knew I was independent and took off with friends when I met him. he has his days out too, frequently, mostly involving sport. Can you encourage your husband to take up interests that might get him out of the house, or socialise with others, without you being there?

I really feel in this day and age we should not have men stifling our lives or being resentful if we want to do our own thing, occasionally.

Rambling Rosie, do tell him you are going, asap. Stand firm, but maybe offer to book a break with him, later on? See if you can get him to enthuse about joining things, on his own?

I like being close to OH, but I couldn't live either in his pocket, or being joined at the hip - or afraid of his reaction if I wanted to do something that didn't involve him.

Please go on your walking holiday.

Please do not go behind his back- tell him and do it. He does not like walking so that should not stop you.

Sorry meant to say, just tell him that you are going

We have been away several times without each other, I have been holidays with a widowed friend and my DH has been over to Ireland for music events with his friends, it's all good 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' and all that