Family discord

jenpax another aspect to maybe consider is that the offering of CBT may be conditional on the attendance at that first booked appointment.
They will be concerned about people being offered CBT if they can’t make appointments regularly and especially the first one.

Good luck.

If your son-in-law is 'at home doing chores' then it is his responsibility to get the children to their class. If he is working from home that is a different situation, but even so he should be able to negotiate a one-off absence for child -care.

Your oldest daughter is ridiculous in describing an alteration to her child-care arrangements as emotional abuse when all she is suffering is a minor inconvenience.

It sounds as though the arrival of your youngest daughter on the scene is already causing family discord; perhaps her siblings have suffered from this in the past which is making them so resentful now.

Your middle daughter needs to learn to drive, unless there are particular reasons why she can't, or won't.

You need to move out of your daughter's home as quickly as is convenient for you, but all three daughters, and spouses, need to be reminded gently but firmly that you are not simply cheap child care.

Poor you, sounds very stressful for you.
I still think you’d be better putting some distance between you, it’s not their decision, it’s yours

Thanks everyone, I have suggested moving out until the house sale and new purchase is completed, but they get cross with this as well as they think it’s a waste of money! I am then accused of not making sensible decisions, and also of not being grateful for what they have done for me etc! I feel as if I can’t win. The irony here is that I didn’t want to move in the first place! I developed cancer and didn’t recover as quickly or easily as I had expected and it was their suggestion that I stay with them until the house sale; and now I am only on sick pay. I am hoping that in time I will be well enough to resume working and get some of my old life back, in the meantime I am treading water

I agree, I think you should move out, they aren’t treating you very well, maybe they’re unexpectedly finding it a strain having you there, but there is absolutely no excuse for the way they treat you

Book into a B and B, and then look for somewhere to rent, and let them look after their own children

I make every effort, when I remember .., to appreciate what each family member brings to the table, to not treat anyone's offering as more or as less - When I forget to do this, I find myself thinking and acting as though I do more and/or what I offer is better - And as a result "expect" instead of appreciate-

It sounds to me that the daughter you are living with is doing the latter of the two, treating you and her siblings as less-

But what you are doing, is setting a loving example for your daughters to learn from and remember in the years to come-

No, you ANBU!

why do some DC expect so much of their parents these days? and get so cross and induce so much guilt when older GP (possibly with health problems) do not 'jump to it?'

can you rent somewhere in the meantime?

This is what " being under an obligation " is like ! Not nice.

Thanks gone girl ?

Your name sounds very peaceable.

You can't please all of them jenpax. But you must stand up for yourself. You are doing what you believe is the right thing. (Sounds right to me too) I would say, stick to it for this time.

Your situation sounds dreadful jenpax, the sooner you get into your own place the better.

As gonegirl said, they haven’t bought you, you’re not their servant! You sound like you’re doing everything you can to be helpful, in this one instance, do what you think is right and support your younger daughter

If I were you, I’d go and stay in a B and B till you get your new home sorted

Other DD finds both her sisters tricky and is keen to keep out of it and I can’t say I blame her.
I feel like I am treading on egg shells all the time and trying to do the right thing and help everyone but seem to always be making one or other of them angry!

Perhaps the third daughter could act as conciliator in this.

Thanks both, yes my role is watching the children while she goes to the appointment. I have already told her that she will need to have a different appointment time in future weeks and she has agreed, but she was offered this as a non negotiable first step and we both felt she should take it.
2nd DD agreed that it was important too.

I think you are being entirely reasonable. I can see it is a difficult situation if you are staying with DD1. Do you need to take DD3 to the appointment or do you need to look after her children to enable her to go? Can you say you are sorry to your eldest DD but on this occasion after a lot of thought you think you need to help out DD3 at this time? I hope it all settles down for you jen

They have not actually boughtyou, you know. Ignore your eldest DD in this instance. Tell her you are accompanying your youngest DD, and son in law will have to do the class. You can't let them pull your strings all the time. Sounds like you do quite enough.