This is a long story so I will try to make sure I cover all relevant parts
I have 3 adult DD.
Due to my poor health I have been living with eldest DD and SIL and 2 of my DGC since last June; this is not a permanent arrangement as I am selling my current home and downsizing and this is going through (slowly )
I have been in the habit of helping with drop off and pick up for a class the children of eldest DD and middle DD do after school one day per week mum is at work and dad although he will be at home from work likes to use the time to do chores, other DD doesn’t drive.
Youngest DD has 3 children all small and has recently moved to the area after a separation from SIL. She has been waiting for a course of CBT and the assessment appointment is tomorrow unfortunately clashing with the class, I had intended to ask middle DD to do the pick up and drop off for me as she has in the past with her father helping, but her DD is ill so she can’t this week
I asked eldest DD if SIL could maybe do the class this week but she was very angry and said that I should be ring fencing my time for her children for this class, that I am showing no regard to her or the children and that youngest DD should just cancel the appointment or try to rearrange it. I don’t agree with her as I felt that a medical appointment should take priority as it’s a one off and so difficult to get on these CBT courses.
Youngest DD and eldest DD don’t get on and have had several rows since DD3 moved i know DD 3 is very difficult and demanding but I felt that her getting mental health support would benefit everyone, eldest doesn’t agree
She has now accused me of perpetrating a form of emotional abuse in the situation and showing disregard for her and her husband who have done a lot to help me recover. I feel often that I can’t say no to any of their requests because they are putting me up so I try to do whatever they ask when it’s possible and they are inclined to accuse me of ingratitude if I don’t.
Am I being unreasonable here?
Reverse total shoulder replacement