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Have we reached that ‘useful but irritating age’?

(52 Posts)
Ohmother Sun 26-May-19 08:01:03

Took the young teenage GSs out for the whole day yesterday, spoilt them and babysat them and an extra friend last night.

I’m at the age where I need to get up and have a cuppa at 6am. I was followed down by my DH and so made toast. We were whispering to each other. Then daughter appeared to say they could hear us upstairs we had to remember to be quiet! FGS!!!

I wanted to leave early to continue a project at home but ‘surely you can’t go and not say good bye to the GSs?’ Are these the same grandsons we couldn’t get out of their pits yesterday morning to take for breakfast?

DH has taken the dogs for a walk and I went back to my bedroom. Then I thought BGR IT!!! I’m at the age where I’ve become useful but irritating!

Sara65 Sun 26-May-19 16:07:23

I agree OhMother
I think they’ve got a damn nerve!

lemongrove Sun 26-May-19 18:17:18

Answer to the, there was never an age that we have been irritating to our AC just because we are older.They were either always irritated with us or they weren’t.
They grew up, became adults and could of course find us irritating at times, just as we find them irritating at times.
If you find that you are always pleasant and obliging to your AC and they are often anything but in their language and behaviour to you, then become less obliging to them in future.They can’t expect anything else!

Glammy57 Sun 26-May-19 20:21:34

DoraMarr - love it: “hide the doobies”! ?

GrannyLondon Sun 26-May-19 21:16:07

How much noise can making tea & toast make?
Had to look up doobies!
Metropolitan Elite moi? NON!
We are very quiet in the morning though.

olliebeak Sun 26-May-19 21:27:44

Quote from Witzend - 'It's a few years now since a dd said, 'Mum, you're starting to sound just like Granny!' so I'm a bit more careful about what I say now.'

Sounds like that young lady needs to be reminded that ONE DAY she will also sound like - not just YOU - but also Granny ;-).

Ohmother Sun 26-May-19 21:37:17

Lemongrove you have given me food for thought. ?

Chewbacca Sun 26-May-19 21:38:33

The one and only time my DS made a light hearted remark, that indicated that he thought I was getting "senile", I told him:

As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so you will be.

Said with a solemn face; I've heard nothing since!

kwest Mon 27-May-19 01:08:52

Chewbacca, love it! Now if I can just remember the correct wording, I would love to use that.

BradfordLass72 Mon 27-May-19 05:28:08

To heck with gentle notes and kisses. Put some Led Zeppelin on, turn it up as loud as you can and make a run for it!


Of course the answer to surely you can’t go and not say goodbye to the GSs? Was, 'Yes, of course unless they're down here in the kitchen in the next 5 minutes.'

Sara65 Mon 27-May-19 08:13:17

Nicely put Bradfordlass!

LullyDully Mon 27-May-19 08:19:12

My 14 year old GD is starting to find me " endearing" or so it seems. I am hoping that isn't she does love me still but differently to when she was small.

I said something about being old she said" Ah but you are old Grandmar. " ( she used to spell it like that when she was little, so still.does.)

When we go out she puts her arm in mine and chats away. She is not quite as tall as me, 5' 8" but may be soon .

I love her, but realise she needs to grow away from us now in order to grow up. We are past the collage and gardening stage but she can help me with the science clues on my crossword.

Life changes with teenagers.

Lumarei Mon 27-May-19 10:30:13

We used to live too far from children‘s families as well as FIL so every visit was an overnight adventure . I didn‘t like staying the night in their house having to put up with:
sleeping in lodger‘s room
Other lodger having friends over sleeping on the living room floor
Finding a chattering queue outside downstairs bathroom
No proper coffee
No milk
DD getting up at 10 or later.
Dinner at 10 pm

Now we live within an hour to most of our family and we can just turn up for „the job and a coffee“

I love them to bits but I am so glad I can go home in the evening.

Sara65 Mon 27-May-19 10:39:54

Sounds like my idea of hell Lumarei, you were very good to put up with it! Hope you were appreciated.

ditzyme Mon 27-May-19 10:43:22

The more threads I read on here, the gladder I become that we don't have to cope with family.

MagicWand Mon 27-May-19 11:03:25

Ohmother I know if I invite friends want them to make themselves as comfy as possible and noise in the morning is not a problem.

But that's obviously because you are a morning person OM. If your invited friends were night owls waking you while creeping down to your kitchen at 1am to make tea and toast (while whispering quietly!) together, you might feel differently! The noise someone makes when they are trying hard to be quiet is quite distictive and guaranteed to be highly disturbing!

EMMF1948 Mon 27-May-19 13:25:51

Are young parents more anal about domestic noise these days? We've been told that the TV is too loud when their children are asleep yet they've never stirred. We never made a big issue about noise when they were small.

Ohmother Mon 27-May-19 22:40:52

Yep. The loudness of the TV is another gripe from them. ?

annep1 Tue 28-May-19 08:17:04

When my daughter's children were young and we visited and stayed- they live far from us- we had to whisper when they were in bed. The whole evening! Didn't make for enjoyable conversation. Dinner dishes never done til morning as evening noise was not allowed. How weird. Evening was often the only time I could vacuum when mine were young. They never woke.

vissos Tue 28-May-19 08:56:25

StansGran: Next time (if there is one), say to them 'you book the flights & we'll sort it when we arrive'.

Grammaretto Tue 28-May-19 09:51:28

Whenever I stay with DD I always speak too loudly when the baby is trying to sleep!! and
get up so late that I'm no help with the early morning demands
Never mind that I have a lifetime's experience of being a parent to babies who woke in the night and to teenagers who could sleep until afternoon with ease, including her.
Our culture has got over inter-generational living years ago - for good reason.

I wish there was an hotel nearby

Ohmother Fri 31-May-19 16:55:50

Ha! I see I’m not on my own then. Perhaps we should be more assertive and, as someone said earlier, remind them of our experience of them when they were young.

SirChenjin Fri 31-May-19 17:03:01

Doesn't every generation find the other generations irritating?! grin

Helenlouise3 Sat 01-Jun-19 16:52:10

Would it be easier to have them in your own home overnight as opposed to being in theirs.?

Ohmother Mon 03-Jun-19 11:22:02

They have too many commitments to come over to my house, Helenlouise3.

Dinahmo Mon 03-Jun-19 18:05:22

I still feel guilty about my grandparents some 50 years on. When I was young they took me out and about a lot and were responsible for introducing me to activities that I still enjoy. However, when I moved to London I used to visit them afterwork. I'd arrive and sit with my grandfather wathching the news whilst Nana cooked dinner. She always fussed over me which I found irritating and so I didn't visit as often as I could. Hence the guilt.