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AIBU

Have we reached that ‘useful but irritating age’?

(51 Posts)
Ohmother Sun 26-May-19 08:01:03

Took the young teenage GSs out for the whole day yesterday, spoilt them and babysat them and an extra friend last night.

I’m at the age where I need to get up and have a cuppa at 6am. I was followed down by my DH and so made toast. We were whispering to each other. Then daughter appeared to say they could hear us upstairs we had to remember to be quiet! FGS!!!

I wanted to leave early to continue a project at home but ‘surely you can’t go and not say good bye to the GSs?’ Are these the same grandsons we couldn’t get out of their pits yesterday morning to take for breakfast?

DH has taken the dogs for a walk and I went back to my bedroom. Then I thought BGR IT!!! I’m at the age where I’ve become useful but irritating!

DanniRae Sun 26-May-19 08:06:52

I'd pop into their bedrooms - gently wake them up - say "Goodbye" - and then pop off home. They'll go back to sleep and you have done as your daughter asked!
Good Luck!! grin

Ohmother Sun 26-May-19 08:24:25

Just what I was thinking DanniRay. My DH won’t hear of it. 🙄

stella1949 Sun 26-May-19 08:29:25

I would just leave a note saying "Bye for now !" and go home.

aggie Sun 26-May-19 08:32:03

I was thinking something similar yesterday as I downloaded something on to the kindle for 6 yr old , her older brother just ignored me till DS arrived to take them swimming , I wouldn't have gone , but it would have been nice to have been asked . There is a nice cafe at the pool !

DoraMarr Sun 26-May-19 08:42:40

Aah no, I’ve always been irritating. When the children were late teens/early twenties and came home in the early hours with friends they would make toast and “whisper” in the kitchen, so I would get up and say “toast? How lovely!” Very discomforting for them and their friends to have to sober up/ hide cigarettes/doobies.

Humbertbear Sun 26-May-19 08:46:46

Just gave my GD my earbuds so she doesn’t find me irritating at all!

Anrol Sun 26-May-19 09:38:46

I feel for you. We have this situation every time we stay at AS & DiLs. I now take a flask of tea & a couple of biscuits to bed, which gives us another 40 mins or so to do the whispering in the bedroom. Luckily the room we stay in has an en suite, so we are able to silently shower & dress. By then it’s about 7.30 and feel ready to go downstairs have our silent breakfast & escape home, leaving a written goodbye, we’ll text/phone later message.

Lynker Sun 26-May-19 10:00:19

Last weekend I was babysitting my 2 GC to enable my DD & SIL to have their first child-free break.......'Nanny.....do you want to play with me?' was our daily wake up call at 5.45am! Exhausted was an understatement after just 3 days!smile

Sara65 Sun 26-May-19 10:03:13

Anrol
We never ever stay in our families homes, book a nice hotel nearby, and stroll round when you feel like it, and then , when you’ve had enough, back to the hotel for a relaxing drink, and a good nights sleep!

Works for us!

Gonegirl Sun 26-May-19 10:07:19

Excellent idea Sarah65!

Ohmother Sun 26-May-19 10:08:27

All is well. All got up at 8:30ish and we all had a laugh about other things. Next time though I’ll tell them I’m leaving early the night before and they can do with that what they want!

Ohmother Sun 26-May-19 10:10:25

We were on watch up to midnight,Sarah, so couldn’t do a hotel. Too expensive anyway.

Sulis Sun 26-May-19 10:37:38

I think I have been irritating but useful since my son was 15. He is now 30, and I am 73 so possibly we have another 27 years of it!!!

Sara65 Sun 26-May-19 11:36:43

Ohmother
B and Bs are good too, worth thinking about for another time

Whitewavemark2 Sun 26-May-19 11:57:07

I’m past the useful stage, grandchildren too old to babysit now, so gliding gracefully into the irritating.

Sara65 Sun 26-May-19 12:18:57

I’ve got 6 grandchildren, I think I possibly irritate the fifteen year old, because I never understood what he’s talking about, all the little ones love me for what I am (at the moment)

Buffybee Sun 26-May-19 12:19:36

I stay with different friends, who have moved away, quite often but I am always mindful of not making noise in the morning and waking them up.
Unless I hear them pottering around I would read in bed, sipping water or quietly slip out of my room and maybe sit outside (they live abroad) but I would never make tea or do anything that would make noise, it's only polite to be mindful of people sleeping.
I would hate for them to think of me as irritating as I really want to be invited back.

LuckyFour Sun 26-May-19 12:23:53

We're passed the babysitting now as GC told old. We 're invited over from time to time but are treated like elderly people who are a bit irritating and don't know anything. Very annoying as we are both fit, lively, have lots if friends, interests and hobbies. We're not given credit for what we've done in our lives or what we're doing now.

sodapop Sun 26-May-19 12:29:48

Yes much the same for me Whitewave and Luckyfour, getting used to "oh mother" and accompanying eye roll grin

Sara65 Sun 26-May-19 12:31:27

Lucky Four
Next time they invite you, say sorry, you can’t make it, you’ve got something far more interesting to do

Stansgran Sun 26-May-19 13:02:13

We were asked to teenage sit about a month ago. We agreed ,changed plans in a rush, booked flights and have not heard a word since even though dgd has had an operation and we asked to be kept informed. Not a word until the granddaughter herself phoned up saying she knew her parents were rubbish at communication but did we know that she would be on a walking school trip. I think she phoned when she knew her mother was out as she put the phone down quickly and then almost immediately her mother phoned up saying she had known nothing about the school trip. It was all a joke to her whereas DH dislikes the town they live in, the tv is rubbish and he has cut short a holiday and the flights are expensive and peak time with not even an offer to contribute. We then also find that although dgd wants to spend the summer with us, her brother doesn't. She said it's horrid to know someone doesn't want to stay with you but they are hoping to persuade him. No one has even asked us if we are free in August!

Witzend Sun 26-May-19 13:06:50

It's a few years now since a dd said, 'Mum, you're starting to sound just like Granny!' so I'm a bit more careful about what I say now.

Haven't had any complaints when staying over for GDC/sitting, not infrequent since dd has to travel for work, but TBH I don't think they'd dare!

Don't blame you for being hacked off, Ohmother - I think I might be otherwise engaged next time they ask.

Ohmother Sun 26-May-19 14:54:49

Buffybee I know if I invite friends want them to make themselves as comfy as possible and noise in the morning is not a problem. When your guests have had your children all day and evening so you can be out till midnight then I think complaining about the kettle going on is a bit rich. 😂

We left on good terms later.

Namsnanny Sun 26-May-19 15:04:56

I too don’t blame you for being hacked off!hmm
Stansgran....feel for you too!😳
Just like to say though it’s pretty hard to be ignored and passed over and miss out on gc when they are very young.....knowing that the irritating phase (and the sulky teen phase) is all that’s going to be on offer!
Sorry if this is a bit of a highjack!!