To side with teacher over dd?

I've only just caught up with this thread and I'm shocked to the core.

Not because a naughty boy was made to stand up when he refused to do as he was told but the revelation that maw got into trouble at school.

I, on the other hand

#easilyled

You call a person who you do not know, on evidence you cannot verify, a right cow.
That is why a few members of Gransnet 'descend on you.'

Gonegirl perhaps if you had a little more sensitivity you would realise that for many years those in the teaching profession behaved with great diplomacy to parents who regarded any disciplining of their child as unacceptable but expected the teacher they were undermining to ensure their child received a good education. Released from the confines of the profession and able now to say it as it is they will jump at the chance of telling someone who considers any teacher a "right cow" exactly how they feel.
And when you're in a hole stop digging!

What business exactly is it of yours who I call a right cow, so long as it isn't you?

I will dig this hole for as long as I want to.

But actually I'm going out.

So I will leave you righteous little holier-than-thou saints to it. or should that be "bullies"?

I personally think to make a small child stand up all afternoon is a bit harsh in my view.I comply agree that his behaviour needed to be addressed in a firm way but, surely as an experienced teacher she could have thought of a better sanction than this.

Should read ‘completely ‘ not comply !

You don't know all the facts Boosgran you don't know how long the child has been doing this. how many warnings he has been given in the past or on that particular day. In my experience chair leaning becomes a habit. Sometimes the child is unaware he is doing it and stopping it is difficult. He may have been stopped before and just restarted when he got a chair again. In which case standing is the only way to stop him, or sitting him on the floor which 8 year olds hate.

Yes, I agree I don’t know all the facts and I agree that this dangerous behaviour needs to be addressed. But as I don’t know the facts you don’t either. Sitting him on the floor as you say would be a a good option and one which I think is better. At least then any work given to him by the teacher would be easier for him to complete than standing up all afternoon. I’ve worked in schools for 25 years and I’ve seen behaviour like this many times but I’ve never seen this kind of sanction before that’s all I’m saying.

I called this teacher. one teacher (!) a right cow

Gonegirl I once dared to say that my (then 10) year old granddaughter didn’t like her teacher (no cow involved) and you would think I had gone into school and murdered her, the horrible comments I got . One delightful member even threatened to “out” my granddaughter .

I girl I knew at school lost her two front teeth leaning on a chair, I wouldn't want my grandchild leaning on a chair either.

Your daughter is over reacting. Teachers have little in their discipline arsenal these days and from what I’ve heard from friends and a friends ac children who teach they are little s*#%ts these days. Your gc was being badly behaved, did not stop when asked and was appropriately disaplined. If he keeps acting this way without being checked he will be the teenager later that gets detention or suspended. For context when I was at school I had a messy desk, mouldly sandwiches inside, leaky pens. I was asked to clean it for two weeks. One Monday morning teacher carried it to the front of the class, tipped it upside down and I had to clean it in front everyone. It was embarrassing yes, but I learnt. Mum was also glad as I started being tidy at home too. Discipline is as important as being loving. Both needed in equal quantities.
I would gently have a chat to daughter. Also if she complains she will become ‘that mother’ and it may effect how her son is treated at school if the teacher avoids him to limit trouble. She may send him straight to the head teacher which would be worse in terms of school record etc.

Goodness! Off my high horse, just realised how awful I sounded, apologies op for sounding harsh. It’s half 12, and my filter was off as I’m half asleep. Your daughter of course reacted the way she did because she is his mother, but of course teachers need quiet displined classrooms. So it’s a case of I wish son would behave but, to get him there he will need to learn that not everyone is going to treat him like mum, there are consequences and they are not fun. Keep us updated on outcome op. Dilly x

There are always two sides to a story. When I was the young mother of my three 'angels', I made sure that all my facts were straight before taking matters into my own hands. I saved myself unnecessary grief on many occasions.

My oldest was reasonably well behaved and polite and likely not being deliberately disrespectful when teacher treated her unfairly. I had to step in and set the record straight on her behalf.

If that's the case with your boy, it's possible the teacher may have misinterpreted his actions and overreacted. Only when you have all the facts however, can you decide whether or not to intervene on your GS's behalf.

If your GS is guilty and he behaved badly, then let him accept the (dire) consequences and chalk it up to 'lesson learned'.

I meant to say "Only when.....can MUM decide to intervene on son's behalf."

I do feel sorry for teachers. They have a very difficult job.

However, I think that perhaps expecting a child to stand for a whole afternoon's lessons is a bit over the top. It could also be seen as a method of humiliating him in front of the class, and I'm not sure I agree with that way of handling things.

I suppose it's easy to theorise and it must be difficult to know how to deal with children who just won't listen.

Teachers need to have some control over the kids or they would take the place off them. One minute people are moaning that kids are out of control and when a teacher meters out a punishment then they are up in arms. The teacher did the right thing. I would back off. The kid had to stand, so what, he was naughty.

Update: sorry for delay.

Dd spoke to teacher. She admits to making him stand up all afternoon as he was cheeky when she told him to stand up. (Fair play to her).

Teacher has said in future she will make him sit on floor

So the boy has learned a valuable lesson: disobey your teacher, complain about your punishment, and mummy will make sure it doesn't happen again.
Explains the boy's bad behaviour.

Just wondered what the little boy was doing all afternoon as he would not have been able to do much written work standing up would he?

Children do fidget but its hardly the crime of the century is it?

I doubt if the OP's daughter had it out with the teacher in front of the child.

And the teacher doesn't have much faith in her methods of discipline if she thinks it will happen again.

What do you ex-primary school teachers on here, think of this.

Son, aged six, was made to sit in the corridor doing his work because he talked too much during a lesson. (Not quarelling with that). When the teacher walked past with another teacher, she deliberately kicked the leg of my son's chair, just to show how much she despised him. (He was a child who would now probably be diagnosed as being on the outer edge of aspergers syndrome)

Then there was the one who would poke fun at my DD because her school tights were wrinkled. Called her Nora Batty.

They are not all saints.

gillybob children can write standing up and in fact some always do. Some sometimes stand on one leg with their knee on the chair and some just wriggle all the time. It's easier to work standing up than it is swinging on a chair.
Gonegirl I really can't comment. No one has said all teachers are saints. What we have said is that most of us have the children's best interests at heart and that keeping discipline in a school is easier with parental support.

Awaiting the wrath of retired/ex/mothers of.....teachers.

My DGD's teacher has some quite sneaky/nasty traits. At the beginning of term she said that in order to help her remember names she associated children with an animal (yes really) . For example Jimmy- giraffe, Lewis-Lion etc. Sounds cute doesn't it ? as long as you are not the hippo or the elephant . I think she thought it was quite funny that my DGD's little friend was in tears every night and told her parents that she was "just over sensitive".

I have posted this before and got quite a few comments sticking up for the teacher. I hope and pray that my DGS does not have her next year.

Without wishing to be rude, it's not up to you, though, is it? Your daughter is the parent and the school is in loco parentis. If your daughter is unhappy, she needs to talk to the teacher. There's a difference between her being unhappy with him being punished, and being unhappy with this punishment. If the teacher considered it reasonable and necessary, he or she shouldn't have any difficulty explaining this to the child's mother. And if the child really doesn't understand why the punishment happened, it's not going to teach him anything.