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DH was 'volunteered' to cook crab at an event

(48 Posts)
CanadianGran Mon 24-Jun-19 23:10:59

My husband has a 40th class reunion this weekend, including a 'meet and greet' on Friday evening, and a more formal dinner and dance on Saturday.

He just told me he was put on the list to cook and clean 50 live crab for the Friday night event. This is held at a local golf course club house. I imagine the crab will be cooked and cleaned outside, then brought in to serve while still hot.

So this leaves him a smelly mess outside, and me on my own mingling with drink in hand an no husband (I'm a bit shy in larger gatherings). The crab has been donated by other classmates that are commercial fishermen, and since we are a seaside community and many classmates are coming from afar they will be looking forward to a taste of fresh crab.

I'm feeling quite peeved, and imagine he is as well (he just messaged me, and I am still at work). I would rather pay for someone to cook the crab, even at our own expense, so he can enjoy his party.

Am I right to feel ticked off?

GoodMama Tue 25-Jun-19 00:14:15

I have to admit I would be a bit taken aback at being assigned a duty at a celebration where I was a guest (especially such a messy and smelly duty).

I'm all for everyone pitching if that's what you signed up for, but it doesn't sound like that's the case here.

Am i right in assuming his was a small class and the reunion is being put on by volunteers and is of not cost to you?

All in all, I do think it's rude I don't blame either of you for being upset.

Nansnet Tue 25-Jun-19 05:02:05

Seriously? It would be very time consuming to have to prepare and cook live crabs just for a small dinner party, let alone preparing 50 of them! He can't do that alone! Either he gets several more volunteers to help him out, or everyone pitches in to pay someone to do it! Personally, I'd go with paying someone to do it ... it's way too much to expect for one person to do this. I also agree with your concerns that he's not going to be able to enjoy the gathering, and neither are you! Too much to expect!

TwiceAsNice Tue 25-Jun-19 06:32:14

How was it decided it was him if he didn’t volunteer? I would be seriously miffed and would say no. You will both not have a nice time. I’d organise paid help immediately. Does he even know how to cook a crab I wouldn’t

crystaltipps Tue 25-Jun-19 06:34:58

Shouldn’t they be getting proper caterers in for this type of thing? ( health and safety, food hygiene?) contact the organisers pronto and point this out- any food poisoning would be down to them. Otherwise tell them he’s vegan/ allergic/ hopeless with knives etc.

BradfordLass72 Tue 25-Jun-19 06:48:14

I don't wonder you and DH feel crabby - cleaning these decapod crustaceans should be left to the experts who donated them.

I do think your husband should tell the organisers straight away that he is not prepared to abandon you on this special night. He doesn't need to give any other justification than that.

An uxorious man is never despised by right-thinking people.

Riverwalk Tue 25-Jun-19 07:01:35

From what you say, it sounds like he is not the only one detailed to do the crabs, also that this is an informal event on the Friday?

I'm sure the other chaps won't just be sitting around inside drinking beer and socialising whilst the crabs are being prepared and cooked.

It will sound very precious if you offer to pay someone else to do his work! I don't think you should be fretting over this.

crystaltipps Tue 25-Jun-19 07:05:18

If they are charging for this event they should have food hygiene certificates.

mumofmadboys Tue 25-Jun-19 08:01:06

Could you help him with cooking the crabs?

Greta8 Tue 25-Jun-19 08:40:55

Do you think this might be a joke? How could anyone do this unless you were a qualified chef with a food hygiene certificate. The potential for food poisoning here would be immense - they're tricky to prepare as you have to remove the dead man's fingers etc. If it's not a joke he should just refuse.

sodapop Tue 25-Jun-19 08:46:01

Sounds like a recipe for disaster ( no pun intended ) I have to agree with crystaltipps this is a job for someone with catering experience especially if people are paying for their meal.
Shellfish can be tricky and not a job for an amateur I would say. It's one thing preparing them for guests in your own home but quite another at an event such as you describe.

discodiva Tue 25-Jun-19 10:19:01

50 crabs! Definitely speak up and say no. Your husband wants to enjoy himself. And so do you. Bit of cheek to ask him.

kiki2 Tue 25-Jun-19 10:25:41

Forgive me for being dim but what does AIBU stand for ?

breeze Tue 25-Jun-19 10:32:11

Was he popular at school smile

What others have said. Potential for food poisoning. 50 crabs also potential for losing finger with sharp knife/shell. I was knackered after prepping 2 lobsters Xmas day. Exhausting. Get help.

TwiceAsNice Tue 25-Jun-19 10:32:14

Am I being unreasonable kiki

EllanVannin Tue 25-Jun-19 10:33:39

I couldn't even begin to start cooking a live crustacean !

sarahcyn Tue 25-Jun-19 10:34:54

Tell the organisers you have both started supporting PETA and cannot do this work for ethical reasons.

Jaycee5 Tue 25-Jun-19 10:45:14

I agree with Crystaltipps. He should just email and say that he doesn't have a hygiene certificate and is not sure that he could prepare that many in a safe way so will have to decline.

oliversnana Tue 25-Jun-19 10:46:29

Suggest more people pitch in might change their minds.
Just a thought 50 crabs 50 people 1 each make it a competition maybe could cause a laugh. Especially if it's an informal meet and greet.

moggie57 Tue 25-Jun-19 10:47:48

frankly i would refuse. as i'm a vegetarian this job would be totally disgusting.... refuse to do it....

EmilyHarburn Tue 25-Jun-19 10:49:39

cooking and cleaning and presenting 50 crabs is a job for a caterer who knows what he is doing and has the relevant certificate. Are these crabs being served hot or dressed cold. It is quite absurd that anybody who has not done this before should try to cook 50 and present them at a meal on his first try.

Each crab needs expert attention with a knife in hand. There is lot of opportunity to get expertise on u tube but I think this is definitely a professionals job.

Nannyfaraway Tue 25-Jun-19 11:16:52

Agree with others. Cleaning and cooking crabs is for professionals who know what they are doing.
There are parts of crabs that should not be eaten.
Tell your husband to email and tell the organiser he can't cook crab

kwest Tue 25-Jun-19 11:19:29

This sounds like some sort of sick joke at your expense. You could say that on reflection this is beyond your skill level and that neither you or your husband could possibly do this. Better to back out now and offer to do something you do feel comfortable with.

janeainsworth Tue 25-Jun-19 11:34:13

I was given two crabs once. It took me about 2 hours to dissect them and there were bits of crab shell all over the kitchen.

I think someone’s pulling your DH’s leg, canadiangran.
Or maybe he’s pulling yours.

A famous John McEnroe quote springs to mind.

cc Tue 25-Jun-19 11:36:37

I can't begin to imagine how long it would take to cook and clean this many crabs, quite mad to expect anyone who is not a caterer to do it. I agree with others, he should back out now.