To think granddaughter is too old for a dummy

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I agree with you that she's too old to have a dummy but, in your position, I'd perhaps not say anything.

A lot depends on the relationship you have with your DD and whether or not you think she'd take your views on board.

that is not trueGabriellaG54 mine and many thousands like him were given them to help a sucking reflex and to keep their airways open .Never to keep him quiet ,actaully my wee soul didn't cry at all for his first few months,even when having needles stuck in his heel a few times a day ,he used to screw his face up but not a sound came out .It used to break my heart.

No dummies after aged 2 and long before that if it can be managed.
You don't want your GC to still use it at school age...surely.
There may be tears and tantrums which shows that the only reason parents give babies a dummy is to keep them quiet. Not a good idea. Weather the storm and remember for the next occasion.

Bradford lass, your experience shows why having an outsider poke their nose in where it's not needed is such a bad idea. It's nothing like keeping away from hot things or sharp knives is it. So many are saying that they'd upset the child for something that is not unsafe or any if their business, just because if their opinions on age or whether small people should have dummies in the first place. Or worrying about other children seeing them with one, so what if they do, maybe they think I've got a dummy like that, or I wish my mam hadn't thrown my dummy away. When my children went off to a sçhiol trip at age 8 every child had a teddy or some such comforter, yes they did talk about them beforehand with the result that both mine decided to take one even though they weren't bothered about them. They wanted to be the same as everyone else. They didn't know if any if them had a little bag with a dummy in, at age 7 they had the manners to accept that different people do different things and if it's harmless and no business of theirs you don't need to say anything.
As I said neither if mine had one ever so I'm not defending a choice I made

I don't like the use of dummies at any age. I've seen children running around with them in their mouths looking like plugs. Why do they need then when they are doing fun things - they are supposed to be a comforter, not an accessory. I'd much rather see a child sucking its thumb. My daughter sucked her thumb at night until she was nearly 13 - she has perfect teeth!

What bothers me is that the mother is afraid to upset the child or take a firm stance what happens when she gets more challenging unfortunately you do have to upset children sometimes to make it right for them

I absolutely agree that over important things that really matter parents are called upon to take a firm stance - as I said above, sharp knives, hot stoves demand firm action to keep a child safe.

The mother's fear to upset the child does not lie in being unable to take a stand when needed, but because she knows her child best and knows that, at this moment, she still needs the comfort of a dummy. Well done that Mum!

We could go and seize all the dummies, MissA, search all the hidden places (doll's house, lego box, behind the books in the bookcase?) and triumphantly put them in a beautifully embroidered bag for the fairies to take away.

It could be a lovely day out, a real Gransnetters meet-up.

Miss A ???????

I was thinking of getting coach party to up to go and tell her what we think!

nanna58 of course it’s no one business but it’s been posted on here to ask opinions it doesn’t mean those opinions will be acted on just asking and having a chew over that’s all We aren’t all going to rush over to tell the daughter off nor I m sure is the poster tonks ?

Sorry luckygirl but tonks says she doesn’t just have it at night but in the day sometimes
What bothers me is that the mother is afraid to upset the child or take a firm stance what happens when she gets more challenging unfortunately you do have to upset children sometimes to make it right for them

The OP asked for opinions, Nanna58 and posters were giving just that - opinions
Plus some helpful advice, which was also for the OP not to express an opinion to her DD.

Lord above there are some folk with some very harsh, hard and fast opinions on this subject! If the parents and the child are happy regardless of the child’s age it really is no one else’s damn business

Her parents need to just gather them all up and chuck them in the bin.

Dummues should be thrown in the bin the moment the first tooth comes through.

Surely at 5 she'd have had school friends comment?

Oh Luckygirl I wholeheartedly agree with you.

father christmas took my daughters dummy away at 3 years old. in exchange for a gift..a new rabbit (blue) we lost the pink one... my daughter still has what is left of the blue rabbit. my daughter is 34 ,bunny has had several sew up operations but he's still going ..my gc only had dummies for bed time only...

BradfordLass72 - how I do agree that the child's comfort takes precedence.

Children clearly have to learn that there are some things they cannot do or have - touch hot hob or play with the veg knife.

But a dummy is not one of these things.

OP please keep out of this - your opinion about the dummy is to my mind (and many others) wrong, so that is one good reason to keep zipped. The other is that bringing up children can be stressful enough without someone trying to pile guilt on your head for doing the right thing.

I shudder at this attitude that encourages parents to rush their children along through their various stages, and dictates when they should or should not be doing things.

Childhood is a precious and unrepeatable time that needs to be treasured; and what parents do when their children are little influences their futures. We should respect this special time and not be dictating what they should do when. They are individuals.

If the child is comforted by it, no one should cry 'too old'!

I bowed to pressure from my own mother when she said my son, at 4, no longer needed his 'comfort blanket' and allowed her to take it.

It caused him deep distress and many, many sleepless nights, and all because a selfish old woman put appearances and "what will people think" before the comfort of my little son.

And I, to my eternal shame, went along with that despicable view.

"... but she's anxious that it'll ruin her sleep..."

Does this mean GD is only using the dummy at night, to help her fall asleep? Some posters seem to think so, but for me, it isn't clear. If it's just at night, no risk of being teased at school and not too much worry about damage to teeth or speech, I don't think (not sure). So I would stop worrying.

Haven't read all the posts, but I understand your concerns, Tonks. IMO, this is a parental decision, though, not a GP one. I don't blame you for sharing your concerns w/ DD, but now, I think you have to leave it up to her. After all, if she took away the child's dummy and it caused the problems she's worried about, how would you feel? And what would that do to your relationship w/ DD?

She is just a wee child, not a dog to be trained! Give her a break!!

If the worry is about speech then bedtime use is surely not a problem. Interestingly the British orthodontic society is much less worried about dummy use than finger or thumb , www.bos.org.uk/Public-Patients/Patient-Information-Leaflets but they'd not worry until age 7 when the adult teeth are starting to come through. That gives a 5 year old enough time to gently wean from it. It's often good to look at what the experts say.

Personally I think it is too old, I never used dummies so don't really like them. They can cause problems with letting the teeth come through in the correct place according to my dentist. I would take a step back and let the parents get on with it. They will only see it as interfering and may cause some tension.

No child needs a dummy after two years old. - a bold statement with no reasons to back it up!