In law issue... childcare

Hi everyone,
I am well thank you! Little one has started the nursery of my choice. I skipped to work when i dropped him off as i realised then i had successfully stood my ground without causing an argument with dh.
Mil is now at home. She isnt doing well. From what i gather she is on medication to manage pain but not treatment.
Our relationship is still very complicated. There are days when a monster within me reveals itself. Often triggered by one new thing or the other. But i find a way to rise above it. Often with difficulty.
On the bright side, things are good with LO and DH.

I’m sorry the relationship is still so difficult with your MIL. It worries me that you think your feelings of (what I assume are) resentment equal a monster inside of you. You are allowed to have whatever feelings you want. I applaud you for rising above, but please don’t put yourself down for having what are, very likely, justified feelings.

I think it’s fantastic that you have finally gotten your child into the nursery of your choice.

I’m glad your baby is in a childcare of your choice. Any plans to move house once MIL passes?

I’m thinking that maybe the baby going to the Mil although wonderful to see him would it be too much for a terminally ill person to care for, I think you are living far to close to them , you visit them anyway you said for a few hours every week so it’s not as if they have no contact with their grandson, so your dh has gone back on what you both agreed on, that your son would be going to nursery, but is now saying he should go to your in-laws every afternoon I totally agree with you, you are his mother, I wouldn’t be happy, you should put his needs first as you were doing, I blame your DH I’m afraid he should stand up to his parents you and your son come first, to be perfectly honest if there was a way that you could stay at home and look after him I would do that, he’s very young and you could go back to work when he’s bit older

Just seen your updated post, that’s great news you have found a way round this

Great news re son settling into Nursery Maternity Leave. Sorry things remain difficult with MIL. Keep focusing on DH and moving forward together with any plans that you want together, rather than any plans anyone else has for you!

@MaternityLeave
Don't let them traumatize your child.

Go with your gut instinct - You are absolutely right.

Some posters are shockingly niave when it comes to inter-generational dysfunction, and kiddy-fiddlers tactics and who they target.

It's your job to filter idiots out of your childs life - even if they are related.
These people are not to be trusted to rely on for childcare advice having already proven to be groomed once, unless they do the work on boundaries they are not self-aware at all.
You will be exhausted later on trying to undo all their toxicity.

Regardless of it all, I would set firm rules with hubby and insist you both sing from the same hym sheet going forwards.

The only regret I ever had in this life is not leaving a relationshit sooner.

I think you stumbled upon the exact right word there ananimous -relationshit!

No, intentional.

I'm pleased that LO is going to the nursery of your choice ML and you managed this without arguing with your DH. It's also good to hear that "things are good with LO and DH*.

This is a very difficult time for you all, especially your m.i.l's immediate family as she is now receiving pain relief medication but no further treatment.

My thoughts are with you all.

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