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AIBU

We are NOT ‘you guys’

(156 Posts)
GinJeannie Wed 07-Aug-19 15:08:09

AIBU in absolutely hating being referred to as ‘you guys’? DH and myself really resent being called this. It’s bad enough when staff in shops, hotels, etc use this awful phrase but now I’ve had a text from DD using it. We are her parents, Mum and Dad, a family nickname even, all highly preferable to this. I replied with a request to please not use that phrase for us and did at least get a thumbs up emoji by return! Be interested to hear what other GN feel!

JenniferEccles Thu 08-Aug-19 16:00:45

There doesn’t have to be an alternative does there?
What’s wrong with being asked ‘what would you like ‘

I also hate it. I guess it originates from the US .

Hm999 Thu 08-Aug-19 15:54:28

I think most under a certain age see 'you guys' as non-gender specific.

I'm happy to be called anything that's pleasantly meant. Personally I don't like 'madam', it makes me think of shopping with my gran in the 1950s.

As a southerner, my favourite is being called 'hen' - always makes me smile.

Marmight Thu 08-Aug-19 15:47:32

It mostly washes over me but I do object to being referred to as 'we' - have 'we' decided on the menu? Did 'we' enjoy 'our' food etc....makes me feel I should be drooling and wearing incontinence pants.

Dee1012 Thu 08-Aug-19 15:19:59

I'm originally from the North West and like many, am quite used to be called "love".
Now in the North East, over the past week I've been called "hinny, bonny lass and pet" numerous times. I actually quite like it....for me it's all about context.
The one phrase I really dislike is hearing men refer to women as "the girls" or vice versa.

Avor2 Thu 08-Aug-19 15:19:18

I also have it. Took my mum out for lunch and was asked 'what would you guys like?' Mum was 91 she is NOT a guy, mentioned this to him and he changed to calling us' ladies' which was much nicer ( and no we didn't feel like he was calling us a toilet ).

Legs55 Thu 08-Aug-19 15:05:11

Hate "you guys" & being addressed by my first name by strangers, I've always been known by my middle name & ask health professionals to do so where appropriate. I do answer to my first name for medical appointments etc.

I hate Ms, I'm Mrs & have been for 42 years Married 3 times, Divorced twice & now Widowedangry

I call everybody "love" as I'm a Yorkshire girl, now I'm in the West Country it's my lovely or my lover which is less common now, my lovely I like, makes me smilesmile

Hun I've got used to & even buddy which is very Devon. As long as it's respectful not rude you can call me anything, whether I choose to respond....hmm

cornergran Thu 08-Aug-19 14:56:02

We’re all different and irritated by different things which fascinates me. I’m another who doesn’t want to be called a guy. Really can’t see why someone greeting anyone else can’t just say ‘good morning’ rather than ‘good morning guys’ or when asking if a group is ready to order to ask just that, the ‘guys’ isn’t needed. A friend deals with it by smiling and saying quietly ‘I am not and have never been a guy’. She then simply doesn’t respond if addressed again as a guy. Me? I let it pass over me but no, I don’t like it. Having said that the radiographer who called me ‘dearie’ three times in three minutes had a serious glare and a request to use my name.

leeds22 Thu 08-Aug-19 14:36:45

Quite like 'you guys', just as well as DH uses it a lot. Dislike Madam but ma'am is OK. And I really object to phone callers using my first name, probably because I really dislike my first name!

Patreesh Thu 08-Aug-19 14:05:51

I'm certainly not a guy but really have no problem with this term of phrase.

Melanie123 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:56:03

I hate it too. I’m not a guy!

PernillaVanilla Thu 08-Aug-19 13:53:03

I hate it too. At university our professor used to call us "Chaps and Chapesses" which always made me smile

Saggi Thu 08-Aug-19 13:45:15

You have too little real stuff to worry about!......as long as I’m called in time for me dinner ..I dont mind what I’m called. Oy you..usually covers it!

Shirls52000 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:45:09

I really don’t mind because it shows that people are being friendly and we could do with a lot more of that in this world ?

Bijou Thu 08-Aug-19 13:39:40

Just because I am old and disabled I don’t like people calling me dear as though I am mental. Also I object to being called by my forename by strangers over the phone.
When I was young neighbours were called Mr and Mrs. Never knew their forenames. Now I know all their forenames and not their surnames..

Nanny41 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:30:25

We have people begging outside our shops here, and one day a lady sitting on the pavement said "hello Mother",I couldnt believe the cheek,apart from the fact I could be her grandmother,maybe it was meant to be a compliment!

Nanny41 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:26:25

I am from the North West too and I know I am home when people say "love"

Riggie Thu 08-Aug-19 13:24:42

Not a term I like. Whenever it's been used towards me, the use of "you" by itself would have worked. I dont expect madam unless in a very formal setting. Most of the time theres no need to add anything. I was "madam-ed all over the place by an assistant in a cafe the other day and it wasnt necessary. Maybe I should have "sir-ed" the assistant??

Nanny41 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:15:51

Doesnt worry me,its better than "you people"

Retired65 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:14:05

I agree, I hate the term 'guys' being used for women. the term apparently is now acceptable as a gender-neutral address. I consider it to be 'slang'. It is even used by teachers at the school I work at to address the children. The deputy head uses the term a lot.

Interestingly we are not suppose to use the term 'love', which I have no problems with. (I live in West Yorkshire)

See www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2018/aug/01/hi-guys-whats-wrong-with-this-greeting

Jan66 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:12:43

Doesn't bother me. Its used quite often in conversation. Never thought of it as being offensive as there are more things to be offended about.

kircubbin2000 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:06:35

I don't like being called dear.Sounds like little old lady.

grandtanteJE65 Thu 08-Aug-19 13:06:32

To me guys are adolescent boys, who could just as well be addressed as lads.

I too am annoyed at being addressed or spoken of as a guy. I am after all a woman.

I have no objection at all to madam, it is after all a term of respect.

midgey, if a chiropodist or anyone else addressed me as "sweetie" I would jokingly point out that I certainly am not their sweetie!

MissAdventure Thu 08-Aug-19 13:01:05

We'll all be speaking like robots to each other soon, for fear of offending.

CleoPanda Thu 08-Aug-19 12:53:05

How odd! I really like the term “you guys”. Many younger people use the term with their friends/ colleagues etc, so it feels as if we’re not being left out or treated as too old for that term. I never cared for “folks” which is definitely an Americanism and reminds me of “old folks”. My only real dislike is “Hun” which somehow irritates, belittles and offends me simultaneously!!

Worthingpatchworker Thu 08-Aug-19 12:45:40

I don’t like the term. It’s too chummy and best left for young people in classrooms. If you wouldn’t use it to address the Queen and family by use it for strangers?