Driving with someone on the car

I had a group of friends that I now no longer socialise with who assumed because I was the youngest of the group that for most trips I would drive and then because I was still working whereas they were retired that I wouldn't need any help towards fuel!! No guesses as to why I no longer socialise with that group!

It's not that we can't cope with conversations and drive at the same time but it's safer not to have to. Like it says on the bus; don't speak to the driver while the bus is moving.

I avoid night driving but the vision isn't a problem in daylight.

We are just being sensible.

And me.
I used to think that non drivers imagine you just sit there and the car drives itself. And have no idea of the cost of running a car.

I agree

It worries me how many on here drive but happily admit they are less than competent. Surely if you can't cope with conversations, have less than perfect vision or can't reverse or parallel park you should not be driving at all.

I don’t mind giving lifts if it’s roughly the direction I’m going anyway. I’m not good at parallel parking though, so I do get a nervous about taking people to places where this is likely to be difficult. I have avoided difficult parking situations when I’m on my own, so I certainly don’t like having a passenger.

The only time I did get a bit stroppy and eventually refuse lifts was at New Year. I don’t really drink, and got fed up every year (with people I had a very slight acquaintance with), assuming I would drive everybody home, when they suddenly realised they had “forgotten” to book a taxi.

I don’t mind giving people a lift, but understand your reasoning. If one day, I should be in your position I will tell people why I can’t/don’t like to give lifts and if I encountered any barbed comments, I would remind them that I don’t judge them on their decision why the can’t/don’t like to drive any more.
It was their decision to stop driving and use public transport instead. We can’t ask someone else to take responsibility for something we don’t want to take on ourselves. If they get offered a lift it is another matter.

When I’m in my car alone, usually going to and from work. It’s my bit of time to myself. I love having my music on, I need this time to myself. A one off lift is ok. But people are so cheeky, when expecting lifts. I’ve got a rule now, if anyone asks, I’ll say I’ll do it if it’s an emergency, but I don’t want it to become a regular thing. My car , my rules.

P.S. Regarding reading the Highway Code - well at the mo it's the AA book (Amazon have cheap second hand ones) - It's no real burden to read these as I read them in my own home Library. That is, the Loo.

Grammaretto
Me too - cataract, that is. I'm lucky so far as I am not really aware of it but I do read number plates when I go out just to test myself! I have these "night driving glasses" you can wear over your own glasses. They are yellow/orange like the colour of the old Lucozade paper. They take the dazzle off night driving. I have used them in the Winter for a long time- pre cataract as I have always been very prone to being dazzled - and they are as good as the black or brown sun glasses for me. They might have helped Prince Philip!
I got them from Amazon, who have so many for sale - you can get cheap ones and ones which come with day time and night time glasses; For example: Fit over sunglasses - Fit over glasses | Set of 2 PCS | 2 FOR THE PRICE OF 1 £8.99 Prime
amazon.co.uk/Fit-over-sunglasses-glasses-protection/dp/B075MDB7TZ/ref=sr_1_13?keywords=day+and+night+driving+glasses&qid=1565461049&s=gateway&sr=8-13]]

Tell them you are thinking of stopping driving too as you have trouble concentrating and the only way you can cope, meantime, is to drive alone.

It's actually true.

Tillybelle you are heroic. Most people are fine to give lifts to and I don't resent it at all and I travel in their cars too but there are a few who think because I have a car I must want to share the journey, with them.
As for the sarcastic comments! I think I might be tempted to brake suddenly.

I find driving at night very hard. I have the start of a cataract and the oncoming lights really dazzle

About every 5 years I read the Highway Code again to keep up to date. At the moment I'm reading the AA Book which asks the questions for the written test - I didn't take one - as well as covering the practical. I've also bought the Police Driver's "Roadcraft" book and DVD. I just feel, as I'm getting older, it gives me more confidence if I know as much as I can and keep up to date with changing conditions. Every little bit helps!

jenpax. Me too - "I always hate feeling like someone is doing me a favour especially those kind souls who make it very clear how helpful they are being!"

Peonyrose. You have my sympathies. I used to have so many friends who did not drive and who had husbands who drove them. I am a widow and have been a driver since the children were born. Over the years I have given lifts to so many of these non-driver women, a lot of whom lived in places a long way from me and caused me much inconvenience. As the years passed I found that the older friends were even worse, so used to having hubby take them out, they sat in the front of the car while I scraped off the ice on a Wintry night, complaining of the cold, complaining that I didn't take them home straight away, and making the windows steam up...
Very few of these lady friends actually appreciated what went into running a car, or how unpleasant it can be driving at night in bad weather especially. They would ask to be taken past puddles, and practically expect me to open their door in a Chauffeur-like fashion. I used to sit through sarcastic comments about my travelling slowly in traffic jams or fog, taking too long on a three point turn on a cul de sac, being annoyed when I asked them to do up their seat belt, or to sit back a bit so I could see past them to see if the road was clear before turning out into it.

But there were one or two who were so sweet and grateful and so worth taking out. It made up for it all. Really!

Sorry, another typo, it should be not to to do it, not forget it.?

123kitty, I did explain why it bothers me. I have made the decision not to forget it anymore or I will end up not going out. I feel confident on my own.

It is never right that someone takes giving them a lift for granted. My Husband used to give a Lady from one of my clubs a lift if I was going until he became unwell and she was most put out because we could no longer take her. She also felt she had a right to be part of our lives and constantly invited herself to other things that we were doing. We politely declined. Her social life was more active than ours so not sure of her motives. For us it was a kind gesture that backfired because she wanted more of our lives than we were willing or able to give.

Is your problem really that you feel taken for granted by your friends and having disruptive passengers just an excuse. Can't you just say you'll also be taking the bus with them next time you are going out together.

I hate accepting lifts and never ask for them, and reading some of the critical comments on this thread about lift takers I am strengthened in this resolve! I always hate feeling like someone is doing me a favour especially those kind souls who make it very clear how helpful they are being! Having said that I will happily give others lifts and don’t mind chattering.

You poor thing! I would have to tell them, I think, how nervous it made me.

Some people just aren't nervous but I can get very distracted when DH shouts "quick! quick! if you hurry you'll catch the green light"

I have a friend who doesn't drive, doesn't own a car and is smugly proud to not be contributing to pollution. I say friend but really she can be so annoying if I reluctantly give her a lift she can be predicted to:
a) slam the car door
b) lecture me on how bad cars are for the environment.
c) shove some coins in my hand for petrol, while telling me that the buses are free.
I think if I went electric she'd still have a view on road safety or something.

Just say NO!!!!

I love driving and passengers chatting doesn't bother me - except when they've been drinking! As I rarely drink alcohol I am often the 'taxi ride' home. I don't mind except that tipsy passengers seem so much louder - they talk such rubbish and never shut up!

I have a friend who gave up driving many years ago. I love her company but she has started to repeatedly suggest that we meet up with her daughter for a pub lunch - she lives over two hours away! That's much too far to go for a pub lunch. She never offers to pay for fuel or tunnel tolls either.

At one time I used to drive her all over the place, but not any more. I got wise, fuel is too expensive these days and I don't want to visit her selfish daughter anyway!

grandtante, I have been thinking on the same lines but have been sitting on my hands. I find it worrying too.

thanks to a friend who was a passenger I nearly drove onto a railway platform due to her directions.

Now whenever I have a passenger I set my sat nav to the destination even though I know my way. Because, one day with a friend talking to me as I drove down the motorway in pouring rain I passed the exit and had to set it on the move to find a way back.

I have a friend who is partially sighted who seems to warn me of things, (with her husband she sits in the back seat) so I make anything she says part of a conversation, like, she says 'oh there is a bus coming' I say ' Oh its red, what a fascinating bus, I wonder if its etc and set off as if it was a conversation topic and not a warning. Seems to stop her going on.

I do not give lifts if I can help it and a nearly always have errands to run on the way back because having got out the journey has to be efficient and tasks accomplished.

My neighbour is the exact opposite. Her late husband drove, but she never learned. I have offered to take her shopping, or out for the day, so many times, but she values her independence. She either gets the bus or a taxi, saying that she has her shopping trolley, and can manage very well. She is a lot younger than me, and comfortably off. We get on very well, but maybe she doesn’t fancy going out with an elderly lady (though she did let me take her to the local tip with some bulky rubbish!