Empty nest syndrome after 20 years

I sometimes wish my two had never gone to uni. Selfish I know, but I think if they hadn't they'd still be living in the same town. As it is they both went to work in London after graduation and have since both moved to Surrey which is a three hour drive from here. It's been a long time now and we see them and the GC regularly, but I've never really come to terms with it.

Icanhand... I think that’s what it is, after so many years I don’t yet have a grandchild ( shock horror) what am I doing here!
So I am going to have to adjust to my own concerns now and bide my time.
It must be a wonderful breakthrough to be called nanny now.

Bordersgirl I have hundreds of photos, which were sitting in albums, paper wallets and boxes in total disarray and I just couldn't bring myself to sort them all out properly. I compromised by having boxes of different categories - like 'school photos', 'holidays' 'pets we have loved' and individual boxes for photos of each child. It didn't take too long, and if anyone wants to see photos of, say, a particular holiday it's not too difficult to find the box. I think our photos will become increasingly valuable as now nobody seems to have hard copies and if phones are lost or the computer crashes...
Sorry - off the subject of the original post, but it was a sad time when I realised that the tragedy of parenthood is that your dear small child disappears - still there but in a different form, and never again to be seen as the tiny, lovable innocent that you devoted so much time to raising. I missed mine very much when they left home but have got used to it now, and have lovely grandchildren.

My children both live a long way from me so don't see them or even hear from them very often. I miss them but they are getting on with their busy lives, maybe one day they will remember that I am here and getting older!

I just absolutely love being on my own for the majority of my time. I enjoy visits from the children and grandchildren but I don't miss them when they're not here. Sometimes I feel that they stay a little too long.

I like the ordinary days the best, just walking the dog or pottering in the garden, watching films, cooking, crafts and DIY. I don't often have the urge to go out exploring, but even then, alone is best.

Friends and family seem to know the minutiae of their offsprings' lives and recite them at length. They continue to live for them and are wrapped up in it all in a way that I'm not. I just feel that I've done the mother job so I'm at least semi-retired from that, completely retired from work, so it's me-time now!

My sister and mother would always ask about how the kids and grandkids were doing and all I could give was a brief outline. I'd tell them what I was currently interested in and/or doing. I'd remind them to contact the kids if they wanted further details, all easy enough with Facebook, email, texts etc. I am interested of course - I'm just not THAT interested - I'm not a repository of family news and I'm irritated if all people ever talk about is their children!

Not daft at all, Imm6. I found the daily chores associated with small children a bit brain-numbing, but really enjoyed the years when they were 10-18. Now they are all married and living away from us I do miss those family times and wonder where my life went - I don't feel that different but they have changed so much ! Caring for a difficult elderly mother is harder for me than looking after my children was - another reason I miss the old days. But they are all good at keeping in touch and visit us when they can, which is great.

Yet I have to admit that, although our GD is wonderful, we both breathed a small sigh of relief when they left after a four-day stay, as babies have so much 'stuff' these days and life gets taken over by her needs in a way I don't remember from our early parenting days, even though we had twins.

I still miss my two lovely children, although I see plenty of them, they have their busy lives to live. I'm spending time over the school hols looking after my grandchildren, I feel like I've been given a second bits of the cherry (but this time I know how quickly childhood passes) so I'm enjoying every minute spent with them.