What irks you

I stuck a cork to the cistern so that the toilet seat could not stand upright permanently
BradfordLass: Spoilsport! How unhygienic! More fun to replace said piece of gungy cork with a plastic bulls-eye motif so's we can have a bit of target-practice.
Mind you, collateral damage may not amuse everyone, but it rarely does!

Not quite sure what you have achieved by that Granarchist

Yet again this morning, needing to give a phone number for a small online order. I've given my email address, why can't they use that if necessary?

Since I don't like dishing it out and don't want them ringing me, I give a fake one, but don't feel I should need to.

The one time I did give my number, when it really would have been useful - was when I ordered something for next day delivery and waited in all day - only for it not to turn up.
It was out of stock.
So why didn't they ring me to save me waiting in all day??
I forget what the pathetic excuse was.

I do AirB&B and have replaced the white linen with patterned as guests seems incapable of leaving them the way they found them - makeup not removed - dirty marks etc etc. It is a nightmare to keep pristine.

Have stayed in Airbnbs in a few different places abroad and in this country, but would definitely prefer a hotel with half board. Airbnbs I find are a bit lonely if it's just the two of you. Also you have to make your own food or go out to eat which adds to the cost. IMO it's just like being at home but in a different place. Go for the luxury if it's your golden wedding!

I am put of by restrictive check-in times

"Check in is strictly between 16:57 and 17:08"

Either
Dont bother running a bnb if you resent doing a key part of the job or
Set up a keycode/keysafe system

Air bnb isnt supposed to look like hotel rooms they are supposed to be homely

For our golden wedding earlier this year we returned to the place we had gone for our honeymoon.
It was just as lovely.
Thanks Cornwall.

To avoid all of the above, book a decent hotel or B&B! I wouldn't touch AirBnB with a ten foot bargepole after some of the stories I've heard from friends. We have stayed in some fantastic 3/4 star hotels, and even cheap B&Bs, in the UK. Your golden wedding anniversary is special and you don't want it ruined by a poor accommodation experience.

What irks me about Air BnB is when there are about 20 photographs of the property, and half of those are of the tea/coffee/sugar canisters, or a picture on the wall, and not of the property itself.

I don't care what the welcome basket might look like, or what colour the tea caddy is!!

I agree OP Loo seat up and crumpled bedding looks awful on photos.

Not seen any such images on hotel web sites but quite a few on estate agent sites.

My irkes?
Crumbs!
A certain person in the Cherry household seems to spread bread, cake and biscuit crumbs everywhere with gay abandon.
A quick flick of a cloth is supposed to sweep them up.

Trees!
Trees planted in the wrong place.

People who plant their little tree and think ahh that looks lovely.

No! it's too near the fence.
It's going to be too big for the garden.
It's going to block out the neighbours light and shade their garden.

It will cause the rooms in the house to be like the black hole of Calcutta.

The lawn will be covered in saplings,
Grr Schumacher (spelling?) tree

The roots will lift up the tarmac on the drive.

Trees planted on footpaths,
Result - trip hazard, due to roots lifting tarmac. Council??

Our local supermarket (yes you Asda), who about 6 years ago thought it was a good idea to plant little trees at every parking bay.
Now the much larger trees, over the next few months cover all the car in leaves and when it rains the ground will be covered in lovely slippy leaves.
How long before the roots lift the car park tarmac?

We have a lovely Rowan tree, full at this moment in time of beautiful red berries, most of which will be eaten by the birds and then gifted back as pink poo all over the car.

Disclaimer -I love trees, we have several in our garden, including a Cherrytree lol.
But sadly in all our gardens past and present we have had chop trees down for all the above reasons.

I enjoy walking in our beautiful local forest.
At least here the Trees and Heathland are managed.??

BradfordLass I share my bed with an old man all the time? (and very nice too.)?

To answer the OP, a really good hotel always has white cotton sheets and duvet cover and pillowcases too.Yes, toilet lids look better down too, although it wouldn't put me off.
I like to have plenty of parking there, and good gardens to wander in.Friendly and obliging staff, and comfortable chairs in the bar. Newspapers delivered to rooms, and free ones left in the lounge areas.A good menu and excellent food!

Gonegirl could you give me a link or tell me where you are please? I'm looking for a barn conversion hide away in the woods nearish me (shires location) to escape to alone.
White sheets, fluffy toweled, stunning views necessary!
Loo seat if up, will soon be closed upon arrival.

Thank you x

If you're thinking of coming to Devon, check out Bertrams Hotel Bus. I recently discovered it and have booked it for my 65th birthday. Can't wait. It looks amazing, an old London double decker bus that has been converted into a 2 double bedroomed apartment all in 1950's style. This isn't an advert by the way.......

That sounds fantastic B9exchange my sort of place finances permitting.

I don't understand people saying that anything will be ok. If I am paying good money then I want the best for that price.

The best hotel we have ever stayed in was the Madarin Oriental in Singapore. Attention from the staff out of this world, one small example if you dine in one of their restaurants, the following day there is a thank you letter from the restaurant and a small box of chocolates in your room!

People were checking out when we arrived and I couldn't understand why the silly s*ds were crying at having to go, a few days later we were almost in the same state!

Not cheap, but for a very special occasion.....

Nvella We always ask for a jug of milk to take back to our room and hotels are always obliging.

I am so annoyed by hotels not having proper milk for my tea that I now pack a half pint every time I go away to a hotel or rental - here and abroad

I think you are a bit fussy, if the place is tidy and clean minor things like the colour of sheets and toilet seat up arent problems.Life is too short.
Just get away and enjoy your Aniversary in a 5 star Hotel.

The property next to mine is rented out as a holiday let.
It always amazes me that when the cleaners go in at the end of the week etc. , they are there for a relatively short time. Im not sure what kind of "Cleaning" they do but it cant be very thorough.
I would look for a nice hotel with good reviews.

I'm with Grannygravy here, if I am paying out my hard earned money then I want the same standard or better than I have at home.
Spotless white bedding
Fluffy white towels
Separate shower with easy to manage controls as I can't read instructions without my glasses
Clean carpets and floors.

I don't understand why people make such a big deal in reviews of what "goodies" ie cream tea or biscuits have been left by the holiday company. Is this the mark of a good holiday for some.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Views are to die for though.

I think holiday let owners should take on board that white bedding needs a boil wash every so often. Too many of them seem to be into this 'save the planet by not washing stuff well enough' business. Grey under the chin areas not a good thing.