Gosh, none of the suggested would even occur to me.
Providing the room is warm, the beds are comfortable, there is plentiful hot water and there is a decent sized bath. I am happy with almost anything.
Our Golden Wedding anniversary stay away from home could have been a disaster. We stayed in a big hotel which advertised itself as being 4 star, in fact it was unrated and was actually average 3 star at best. Because both of us had been ill. I had a minor op 2 days before we went, it was a last minute booking and we did not check Trip Advisor.
It wasn't a total disaster because although the room was shabby. it was at least warm, (in a cold February). The beds were comfortable and there was always plenty of hot water to fill the huge old bath.