Gransnet forums


AIBU by refusing to get a mobile phone?

(105 Posts)
LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 15:42:42

A few years ago it was an issue at work & they said I had to buy one. I pointed out there there was nothing at all in my contract saying I had to buy a mobile, or indeed anything else, to do my job effectively.
In the end they provided one and it never once proved neccessary. My line manager would text me out of hours with stuff that could have been emailed to my work email and dealt with when I got into work. Sometimes she'd text late at night or at weekends or when I was on leave. I never replied and dealt with it at work so in the end I left it in my locker, switched off and only switched it on at work. Not that it was ever needed during work hours either. When I retired it was a joy to hand it back.

So far, so boring BUT increasingly friends are pressuring me to get one. Not having one is not a problem for them as far as I can tell. I have asked specifically if my not having a mobile has caused a problem and they say no but then come up with hypothetical reasons which haven't ever happened or are unlikely eg what if you were knocked down on the street? What if you were abducted? I can't see that having a mobile would make a difference.

If I go and stay with friends I tell them what train I'll be on and anyway, I know where they live and don't require being met at the station or anything. The world did function before they were invented. So far I have never phoned or texted once on a mobile, not even on my work phone. It was really pointless having it.
Friends that do have one are often just contacted by people asking them to do things for them. If people need a favour they can ring my landline. It's the same number I've had for forty-odd years and people ring me on that.

So, none of you have a dog in this fight and have no agenda about this... Am I being unreasonable?

HurdyGurdy Tue 24-Sep-19 16:48:16

My mother in law was in her garden last week and fell over. She couldn't get up from where she was, and even when she managed to shuffle on her bottom to a step, she still couldn't get up.

No neighbours or passers-by to help her

Luckily she had her (basic) mobile with her, and could call my sister in law, who could go round and rescue her.

Obviously it's all personal choice, but I would say the pros of having one would far outweigh the cons

ninathenana Tue 24-Sep-19 16:49:03

Personally, I love my phone. I don't have a desk top or laptop. My phone is my computer. I use it for everything I do on line.
I use texting to contact DD who works random shifts and I can message her without disturbing her work or sleep. My friend who has health issues dosen't always feel up to a phone chat. If I text her she can reply when she is able. I also use face time to chat to GC.
As you say the choice is yours, no one else's.

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 16:58:45

I hope your mother-in-law is fully recovered. No reception in my house or garden so if I was unlucky enough to be in that situation I'd just have to yell for help. My garden is overlooked on all sides so hopefully that would work.

I really am not being contrary or the sake of it and I do not have qualms about living in the 21st century (well apfart from Trump, climate change etc & I doubt a mobile would change that) it's just that so far I can see no compelling argument. I'm willing to have my mind changed though.

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 16:59:29

apfart? That was a trumpian slip....

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 16:59:55

Would have been worse with predictive text!

M0nica Tue 24-Sep-19 17:08:36

if you do not want one, do not have one. I have a smart phone. I use the phone very little but do use the sat nav, which as a non driver I appreciate is of no concern to you LondonGranny. There are several other apps which I find useful as well.

I find the phone useful when I go to my local town by train. I ring DH to let him know what train I am on, on the return journey so that he can collect me from the station. Our local taxi company charges £15 for a 4 mile journey. But again this is not an urban problem.

Barmeyoldbat Tue 24-Sep-19 17:10:28

I have resisted a mobile phone for some time, but often you were asked for a mobile number. So now I have a very basic one from Tesco, a Dora I think. I have a sticker on the back with amber on it as I can't seem to remember it. It does what I need it for, phoning the breakdown people when I needed them, phoning Mr B to see if there anything he needs while I am out shopping and getting in touch with the kids now and again. Also have a charge in my car as I keep forgetting to charge it.

tinaf1 Tue 24-Sep-19 17:13:34

Don’t know if you drive but I got mine mainly because I feel more secure with it when I am driving especially round the M25 at night
Also will say I do like using it for texting not everyone is available for phone call
My husband won’t entertain one either

tinaf1 Tue 24-Sep-19 17:15:17

Forgot to add mine is also basic Doro I’m not interested in all singing & dancing smart phone

Newquay Tue 24-Sep-19 17:19:43

DH and I both have smart phones. Our rules are:-
Mob must be switched on
Charged up
Not on mute
On person-(sometimes in my bra if I don’t have a pocket?
They are the equivalent of lifelines and very glad we are of them too!
Can’t understand “dinosaurs” myself!

Anniebach Tue 24-Sep-19 17:20:35

I need my mobile phone.

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 17:24:10

I can see for people not in the middle of a huge city there are huge advantages. Also when ordering stuff online (which I do more & more now I'm getting creakier and less able to lug stuff about) I do often get asked to provide a mobile but I just stick my landline number in which so far has been fine as texts reach me on that, no problem .
I'm sure there may be a time when a mobile will be the default & my computer will become obselete but I'll probably be pushing up daisies by then!

One thing I've noticed though is when friends get calls or texts they often sigh or roll their eyes because it's a nuisance. I say, "Why don't you just switch it off"? and they say "Oh no, I couldn't do that"
It's not just young people who seem to be ruled by their phones. I do hate it when phones seem to suck good manners out of people, in restaurants or even during funeral services! I think I don't want to be that person.

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 17:26:18

It's that thing when people have half an eye on their phone all the time. It's not really living in the moment, is it?

jura2 Tue 24-Sep-19 17:27:08

Met up with my big bro today for lunch ... he said he had sent me a message to say he would be a bit late, so I told him my mobile in on the second kitchen sink. And he told me off and said I was a dinosaur, lol. He is 83- I am 68 ahahahaha

Pittcity Tue 24-Sep-19 17:30:33

I use my mobile as a camera, map, calculator, torch, timetable, TV remote, alarm clock, radio, newspaper, diary, bank card, internet browser and phone.
I use it to play games, make notes, check weather forecasts and to shop.
I am typing this on my smartphone.
We do not have a landline as it is much cheaper to run 3 mobiles in our house. (We do have good signal....but you can still communicate over wi-fi)

I love my mobile but YANBU if you don't feel the same.

MawB Tue 24-Sep-19 17:32:35

Your decision - nobody else’s.

SynchroSwimmer Tue 24-Sep-19 17:42:45

I’m also with you LondonGranny, I did feel under pressure to get a smartphone but analysed what my actual needs and usage were and realised that would not be the best solution for me.

I have the cheapest basic mobile for emergencies, when I was widowed and realising if I was in trouble on the road there was no one person that would come and rescue me from any given situation.

I am however in a very serious “relationship” with my Ipad!....and couldn’t live such an enriched life without that!

I have even set a voicemail message on my landline to say that it “is better and quicker to contact me by email” friends all have my email address - but all the spam callers don’t and can’t! ?

Nannarose Tue 24-Sep-19 17:47:10

Many of us choose to take control of a mobile phone by using it as and when it suits us and those we care about.
Not to be confused with people who can't really handle that, and moan and mutter about it!

cornergran Tue 24-Sep-19 17:48:55

I agree with maw, it’s your decision. We do both have phones. Mr C rarely uses his other than to contact me when he’s out as he often doesn’t hear it so the family and friends always contact me, My phone is invaluable for the family who function via their mobiles. I enjoy being able to use it as a camera and it does give a sense of security when I’m out and about in the car. We have two good friends who don’t use mobiles, we do accept its their choice but you know sometimes it would make our lives a whole lot easier if we could send a quick text rather than needing to phone. So them having a mobile would be to be our advantage not necessarily theirs. If you’re clear you don’t need a phone it’s your choice and no, you aren’t being unreasonable even if friends think you are.

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 17:59:12

OK, now considering a really basic PAYG calls & text one but solely for when I'm away on holiday (which is rare).
For everything else, well, I have a far better digital camera than a smartphone as well as my trusty old manual SLR (I can develop my own photos). I prefer reading real paper OS maps and have an A to Z in my bag for those tiny warren-like little streets in central London that tend not to be on Satnavs because the little google car can't get down them (my street ain't on streetview either). I have my trusty maglight, tape measure and so on. I collect old board games so all the other things on a smartphone aren't needed.

Laurely Tue 24-Sep-19 18:03:38

OP wants to know what the benefits of a mobile phone would be for her. You don't miss what you haven't had, until you discover that everyone else has it and you want it. I recently went to a party that began with a boat trip. Guests who don't have mobiles arrived just as the gangplank was about to be drawn up. The hosts and the crew had had the worry of 'can we hang on a little longer', though those guests seemed unperturbed. Later I was talking to them; I had made a half-day rail journey from the north-east to the south-west. The Trainline app found me a route with only one change at a major rail hub. One of the latecomers had started from that same hub, but had had to change trains en route. I stayed in an Airbnb in the small town where our hosts live. The latecomers did not know about Airbnb; some returned to London, one stayed in a budget chain hotel in a city at some distance. My point, I think, is that technology brings changes and if we can keep up with it, we benefit. If we don't, we won't know what we are missing.

Caro6699 Tue 24-Sep-19 18:07:54

As others have said, if you decide not to have a mobile phone then don’t have one. Simples

Riverwalk Tue 24-Sep-19 18:15:15

for those tiny warren-like little streets in central London that tend not to be on Satnavs because the little google car can't get down them (my street ain't on streetview either)

Oh, dear GrannyLondon you are misinformed - Satnav has nothing to do with a little google car!

Methinks yer a bit of a dinosaur grin

LondonGranny Tue 24-Sep-19 18:21:12

I think they're connected. Cabs can't find my street either because the name is wrong!

Pittcity Tue 24-Sep-19 18:25:57

I don't own an iPad because a smartphone is just an iPad that can be used to make calls!
I agree that Satnav and street view are two separate things....there are errors but I find it invaluable when exiting a station and needing to know which way to turn.