Belated greetings by Facebook.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Discount last comment. As you are not on FB, they wouldn't know. Or would they???? I removed my FB birthday it seemed rather silly. Getting the same comments each year and from people who would not even remember without FB's help.

Your SIL was at best thoughtless, at worst on an appalling ego trip. Forget it and focus on your lovely family and friends who made your birthday memorable in the nicest possible way.

Just maintain whatever contact and relationship with your SIL makes you happy and comfortable.

Congratulations on your 'big' birthday!

I love Facebook and use it as a way of keeping in touch with a large circle of friends, keeping abreast of news and local events, sharing photographs etc. I love people and am interested in the lives of people I know and just dont understand why people get so hot under the collar about it. Its communication and we all benefit from that!

I use FB - mainly as a means to keep in touch with friends and family in Australia as well as Holland & UK and find it useful (and cheaper ) to send a family message to organise a family occasion!
However, I can fully understand you are pretty peeved with your SiL - it would have been a different thing if she wasn't aware that you did not have an FB account, but really, the fact that she knew you don't means, to me, that her post was pretty pointless and fancy hoping that you had a good day when she knew that your DD had been ill ? Insensitive or what ?
She is just thoughtless . I think I would have told her that you had just wanted a quiet day and to forget it was a milestone birthday and anyway because DD was ill, you had other things to think about at the time! In future, you would prefer that she didn't post things about you that you are unable to read!
Might be a bit late now though, you missed your chance!

Maybe she thought someone would show you her well wishes and she might have been peeved for not being invited to join in your birthday.

After being on FB and seeing what people put up and how many rows it causes - I wouldn't waste energy on getting upset over it. I honestly wouldn't let it bother you.

Going to go against the tide here. At the end of the day you had a lovely birthday with the people that count. I don't understand why you are in the least worried about your sil. She is acting in the way she had always done and I would say a FB greeting is better than nothing. Not worth mentioning it spending another second worrying about.

If you've previously signed up to use Facebook at some point in the past and haven't specifically closed down your account but simply just stopped logging in to it instead... Facebook likely knows your birthday and invites people to wish you a happy birthday when the day comes.

Perhaps she responded to an automated suggestion by Facebook, to wish you a happy birthday?

If you don't want people to post to your facebook... close your account proper.

I use FB a little bit but only send HB messages on my friends own timeline, if they are not on FB then I don’t post anything at all. Always send cards and a text to everyone anyway.

Face book is the root to all evil . Next time you speak just drop in the conversation you don't have it . Then continue with the how you prefer to talk face to face or on the phone , being its more personal . She can even take the hint or If not , she's not really worth worrying about .

Sorry, but I can't see what the issue is: that she forgot your birthday, or that she posted a message on FB? Either way, what difference did it make?

You later phoned her, and then got upset because your prompt went over her head and she still didn't say anything about your birthday.

If it's that important to you - a private person - to have a birthday greeting from each family member, then for goodness' sake, tell them so. They can't read your mind.

She sounds like shes quite scatty and disorganised and probably has no idea at all that her behaviour might be considered to be thoughtless or in any way offensivr. Best just let it go, certainly not worth blighting the memory of your birthday.

Sounds like it was all for show and your sil wants others to see how nice she is rather than a genuine well-wishing for you op. Sorry I don’t want to stir but why else do that? I hate FB too.

to me you are sending mixed messages ,either you are p off or your not. maybe sil has an illness where she forgets. like me at 62 i forgot my twin birthday in germany. we are penpals but over recent years i keep forgetting birthday/annivesaries.yes fb has a lot to answer for, but it is an easy way of keeping in contact. i do still write letters but not quite so often,....have you tried writing to sil and saying about fb .or is this a message through someone else. people do forget!!

scatty. yes i am ,forgetful. yes i am .but its an illness not being scatty.

So sorry that you were upset by your sister in law who sounds a bit of a pain. Can you distance yourself from her for the time being?

As others have said, have you got an old Facebook account that you have forgotten about? A friend of mine doesn't currently use or look at Facebook but somehow has two accounts in her name. Very confusing for the rest of us.

I love Facebook but use it with caution, and sparingly. I have changed my name slightly, and certainly no personal details on it. And I never post anything personal but I do love seeing photos of friends and family.

Hope you have been reassured by some of these replies - remember, you choose your friends, you (usually) don’t get to choose your relations!

?✅

I think some people use FB to show the world how popular, thoughtful, well off, nice, sociable etc etc they are. If they were all of these things they thing they are then they would take a few minutes out and phone to congratulate their friends and family on happy occasions or AIBU to think a phone should be used for the purpose it was invented for? Mmmmmm that's a novel idea - maybe I should take it to The Dragons and get investment!

I use Facebook, messenger, email and the phone for birthdays.

Family and close friends have decided no cards (except the BIG birthdays)

Cost of cards and postage is ridiculous.

Jodieb Facebook only reminds you of birthdays if that person is on facebook. I find that very useful.
Washerman said she wasn't on it.

I must say I am quite surprised at the vitriol towards your SIL from the other commenters: She is described variously as 'nasty... self-centred... inconsiderate... toxic... disgraceful... childish'. What crime has she committed? Why, she forgot your birthday by one day and then posted well-wishes about it on Facebook, which I agree is non-sensical if you are not on Facebook, (she might have forgotten? So many people are on Facebook these days), but you seem disproportionately bothered. You say too that you stopped buying presents for her side of the family as they rarely said thank you. So you were buying them presents in order to be thanked because when the thanks diminished, so did your presents. I send birthday and Christmas wishes to my brother every year, sometimes he forgets to reciprocate, sometimes he remembers late. So what? He loves me. He says it eventually. I have scatty, busy friends who don't always remember my birthday, or who don't follow social etiquette to the letter, but I know they are there for me in times of need. Your SIL DID wish you a happy birthday. And she also picked up the phone to call. you later. You could be a bit more generous in your interpretations of her behaviour. You say 'Point is SIL forgot my b'day.Absolutely no problem.' It sounds like it IS a problem and my advice is to focus on the positive. Cut her some slack. Be pleased she did contact you, in however an inept a way, and try to see what good you can in her actions.

Not on it....even my daughter 42 has dismissed it from her life . When I asked why she said it took up too much of the time that should’ve been given to her kids. ...all for folk to tell each other it was raining...snowing...windy...sunny....hiw banal can people be!?

Words face to face or a telephone call mean so much more than a stupid belated message on FB knowing that you do not have an account. It is just to clear her own conscience. I’m sorry to read about your daughter being ill and hope she made a full recovery. FB comments can be very damaging for some people-especially if the people who are not meant to read comments have the post fed back to them by someone else. It happened to me almost a year ago when my father was critically ill. This very FB poster hardly ever managed to get my birthday card to me on the correct day either. I am really glad I’ve never had a FB account. I totally appreciate how you feel because you are from the “old school” where cards and conversation mean so much more.

Another here without a FB account- heard too many stories of how it’s split families and caused marital discord. Not saying that would happen to me but my daughter had a problem with it causing her undue stress. She came off of it years ago and has never regretted it. I really don’t need to know what folk are having for their dinner anyway ..........

That's a bit strange if she knows you don't have a Facebook account. It would have been just as quick to send you a text and then you would have seen it. Im not surprised you are annoyed.

I'd be cross.
What on earth is the point taking time to create a Facebook thread or whatever they're called when she knows you don't use it?

Surely it would be quicker to send a quick text.

As you don't have a Facebook page ut must have been galling to learn SiL had used this as a way to acknowledge your 'special' birthday. Hearing about it from other people would be infuriating. You do though accept her lack of interest in these occasions so you should just forget about it. The ones who matter did remember and they are the ones who count. As to her not even asking about your DD, well is that not just par for the course with her. Good all is well with DD.