AIBU to expect the same?

Understand totally! Neither myself or my other half need hearing aids yet (been tested) BUT...whenever I say something he jumps in with "pardon" before I've even finished speaking!!! Drives me up the wall especially as you say, you are quipping about something which loses impact by repeating! Strange thing is when I refuse to repeat, he often replies??? Then he says "you mutter"!!! Go figure...think it must be an automatic response from him t.b.h. Still very annoying.

To be fair though I don't think Annepl was being nasty - I think she just felt that most of us could empathise with you. I think her response was just because you singled one person out who you said "understood".

But yes you do need the same consideration from DH as you give!

School still on half term I see! ???

So long as that’s not the only one on offer ??

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"And when I ask him to repeat I get the eyes raised, the tuts, the exasperation."
Of course YANBU to expect the same courtesy from him as you extend! And if he's going to eyeroll and tut, then the way to get the same is to eyeroll and tut at him.

If he has a problem with that, tough. 'Treat others as you would be treated'. If he's eyerolling and tutting, that is obviously how he WANTS to be treated.

Oh I so felt for you when I read this as I’ve been in the same situation with my DH for months. He had paid for private hearing aids a couple of years ago but was increasingly not wearing them.., they picked up too much background noise, he could hear too many other conversations when we were out, the wind was too noisy. Oh yes, and I muttered too. But it was soooo frustrating for me to have to do as u say, repeat myself endlessly and also the tv volume was creeping higher and higher till it couldn’t get any higher. He even went out and bought a sound bar! But thankfully the change came when I went to a nearby town for shopping and he asked me to take his hearing aid to be cleaned/checked as that’s where they were from. So I did, and immediately it was checked I was told it was probably completely dead (they had a power down that day and couldn’t confirm through the computer). One week later he got the call to collect it and when we did I mentioned the background noise/conversation/wind issues and he was immediately ushered to consulting room where adjustments were made to address these issues. He had no idea this could be done . The tv is now back at a bearable volume and I will definitely be reminding him to go back for more regular checks in future . I hope you get some resolution to this. Men can behave so selfishly and stupidly when pride is an issue I think.

Thank you SpringyChicken you got what I was moaning about ??

I wasn't accusing you of moaning at all. I was merely surprised at you saying the above statement when so many had commented and sympathised. And I think it was a very valid "moan".

I didn’t say he wouldn’t wear his hearing aid per se. I said before he puts it in in the morning I have my work cut out to get him to understand. It might only be the first half hour or so of the day but it was to illustrate my point.

And don’t accuse people of moaning when they are simply airing an issue.

Your husband asks you to repeat things which you do patiently. He rolls his eyes and is impatient when you ask him to do the same instead of doing it willingly as you do. You're annoyed that he won't wear his hearing aid. What did I not get?

I sent my DH to the GP and told him not to come back without hearing aids as it would just prove how ignorant he was being. Came back with 2 aids....... ???

annepl what a nasty remark. And no, you didn’t get it.

Apparently my dad had 'selective hearing' according to my mum. He only heard what he wanted to hear.

My daughter and my husband both upgraded to private hearing aids from nhs recently. Astonishing results for my daughter whoever is talking to her, similar results for my husband to anyone talking to him other than - me! I will leave you to draw your own conclusions!!

Forgot to mention my daughter had her first set of aids age 3! She didn’t need them for a while but unfortunately does now. She lip reads so brilliantly no one realised for so long.

Bellanonna, I could have written your post. It's exactly the same scenario here.

My 8 year old is quite severely deaf and wears her hearing aids gladly every day. She has pink glitter cases and loves them.
It’s exhausting repeating yourself constantly and remaining calm. There’s such an easy life changing solution for everyone around the person who’s hearing isn’t what it could be. Why is it so difficult for some to accept it- deal with it and get on with life. If an 8 year old can. .........

My husband knows i hearing problems there is no sympathy from him . He knows he has to be looking at me to know what he is saying . So he still continues to try and speak to me from another room . You think he would learn when he doesn't get an answer . Men what are we going to do with them .

4allweknow
Yesterday, I read that a very prestigious university has banned clapping and encouraged 'jazz hands', all in the name of inclusivity.

I feel your pain. With DH took me 19 years to convince him he had a hearing problem. I was always accused as muttering, that being why he woukdnt hear. Only when DC were in teens and they told him I did not mutter and that he didn't pick up what they were saying either. Numerous hearing aids throughout the years but still my fault if he didn't hear. Earlier this year a cochlear implant in one year and it has made a difference. Still going for adjustments as takes about 2 years to retrain the brain to sounds but a definite improvement and suddenly I don't mutter! Suggest cochlear implant to your DH in order to help stop your muttering to. Hearing has to be bad before being considered. Audiologist should refer. It's really hard living with the unseen disability.

I am very hard of hearing despite wearing expensive rechargeable aids, it is very isolating, I cannot take part in conversations and miss a lot of jokes and asides. I still sing in several music groups but it is getting difficult, I can understand how deafness can lead to Dementia, especially if you live alone. It is so difficult to explain to people that it is not volume when they are shouting at me, but clarity and looking at me when speaking. As for being in a party situation or people clapping, forget it, torture.

My DH was similar after his stroke. He didn't lose his hearing but could only concentrate/focus on one thing at a time, and if I spoke to him while he was reading or watching tv he would not realise I had said anything. I had to get him to look at me if I needed to say anything. So like a previous poster the throwaway remark, joke, comment when we were watching tv went un-noticed, and repeating everything made it very unfunny. He could not follow a conversation with other people, and I had to attend all his medical appointments to interpret and explain what the doctor had said, and he found tv and the cinema difficult.

Apparently the stroke had affected the speech and language centre in his brain and he had difficulty in processing what he heard.

I had a virus that left me totally deaf for several months. Horrible experience but a real eye opener! If we all spent a week without being able to hear we would probably be a lot more understanding.

Being in group situations was very hard and isolating especially when the family came to visit and I had no idea what was going on. I did get some NHS hearing aids but they picked up so much background noise that they were uncomfortable to use. Luckily for me my about 80% of my hearing came back.

I am recovering from a cold and yesterday I was deaf in my left ear but seems a bit better today.

Oh how good it is to know the Royal We are not alone! We have had some interesting conversations, e.g. "has the post been?", replied with "I said I didn't want toast!" I've worn bilateral hearing aids for almost 10 years, but he refuses to get tested, despite his gp saying she was surprised he could hear anything with that amount of wax in his ears! Ears syringed, £30 each ear, as our gp practice won't do them, but he is still denying he can't hear! Do you think we should share my hearing aids in the interests of survival?

Many of these posts could be us! My dad has hearing aids but won’t wear them, my husband knows he needs a hearing test but wont go as he doesn’t want hearing aids, and my hearing is very good (for my age!) BUT I do get rather exasperated by being misheard by either my dad or my husband or (worse) being ignored or misinterpreted by either of them.

Not good for anyone, and I recently read in a leading medical journal that untreated hearing loss can make people much more isolated and more prone to dementia like symptoms.

Lots of good advice on this thread, and I’m sure I’ll feel more tolerant now towards my family and their hearing issues. ?

We have had a few funny moments with misheard things but my favourite was a year or two ago we had been watching a programme about the well-known (in the music teaching world) piano teacher Fanny Waterman. The next morning my husband said "that piano teacher was rather a tartar, wasn't she? What was her name again, Annie Waterman?" "No," l replied, "Fanny Waterman." "Emma Waterman?" "FANNY Waterman." "Hannah Waterman?" "FANNY WATERMAN. F-A-N-N-Y FANNY." "Musicgirl, there's no need to shout and what would the neighbours think if they heard you shouting out Fanny?"