Having a lover might solve your sex drive but so would a vibrator. The trouble is that sex is an appetite that increases with use, you may start to ‘fall in love’ and want to meet more often and become less discreet about it. . It is unlikely that you would be able to continue to act normally at home.
You say you also want kisses and cuddles. Does your husband show affection to your children, grandchildren or a pet if you have one? If not he might need help with releasing his emotions -would he go for counselling with you? Did his parents kiss and cuddle or were they like him?
Are you sure he is not also a person ‘ waiting in the wings’ or no longer waiting, for someone else?
I don’t think you will get away with an affair, unless it is a cold, unemotional sex only thing which women are not usually very good at managing. You will have to decide what is most important to you. Believe it or not, throwing yourself into some other interest, especially one that is physically demanding, can help yo keep your mind off it. It is hard when couples are mismatched in this way. I assume you have tried weekends away and viagra, and have ruled out physical and mental causes?
Perhaps you should just tell your husband of your dilemma and ask if he’d mind if you have an affair - it might shake hum out of his complacency.