To think this is a damn cheek!

Surprised you managed to say you'd get back to her. You haven't seen her for 18mths, you're not invited to the christening but it's alright for you to get up at the crack of dawn on a Sunday to cook their b***dy bacon. YBVR in my opinion.

Phoenix, my first reaction was -what a flaming cheek! I'd be hurt and insulted quite frankly. It would have been different if she'd have invited you to attend and mentioned the idea of bacon rolls but she was worried how on earth she'd cope. Then you could have offered to lend a hand as part of a group effort. Sounds like it would all be down to you, who would purchase the rolls, butter them, provide Tom sauce and brown sauce, purchase a LOT of bacon, serviettes, make teas & coffees, juice, buy in enough milk, sugar??? Then you have the "have you got GF bread" meat free alternatives, why haven't you got sausages? I tell you there's nowt so demanding as folk getting something for free. You would need firm numbers to cater for then you get the cheeky ones taking two because they've not had breakfast! It's a nightmare and a minefield and I've seen it in action! I don't think your lunch out after would actually happen nor be a freebie, they will get too tied up in family. They want it done on the cheap and reckon you will do it, you're obviously reliable and a good organiser. I'd just say too, that in this day and age noone minds what religious outlook anyone has when it comes to guests be it wedding, funeral or christening - all are welcome. So not to invite you on the strength of a different outlook is quite frankly not on! I went to one recently and the vicar went out of his way to be welcoming and inclusive as did others. And I voluntarily just mucked in with tidying up after. The parish ladies group did the hot drinks and plates of assorted baking and the parents of the child gave them a donation and provided the sparkling wine. Why don't you and your hubby have a nice lunch out yourselves on that day instead. Good Luck.

Madmaggie I don't think the lack of invitation is anything to do with having a different outlook, more a case of not being particularly close to the child's parents (I've never even met the father) so I'm really not bothered on that count!

Hilarious! Just say no thanks, it's not something you'd enjoy doing so very early on a Sunday morning! Pass on your info and she can ask some other mug!

As this is the Car Friend, I wouldn’t hold your breath waiting for the lunch out - if you were daft enough to slave over how ever many bacon butties you were expected to cook. I bet she’d ask you to “just drop by and pick up the bacon” too.

Just read Madmaggie’s post. I think she’s got it about right!

Just tell her you've seen the Light and have converted to Judaism.

Very strange and I think unless you are/have been a caterer, a cheek! Then again nothing should surprise me! A close relative had been invited to a 40th. Her husband was working so I volunteered to go with her as she didn’t want to go alone! Got new dress etc. two days before party she said hubby had now been able to get the night off and as I wasn’t doing anything would I babysit as it would save her money paying a babysitter!!!! YANBU - just surprised you didn’t say no outright as I did! Sometimes you just got to be as blunt as they are. Btw we are still friends ?.

Some people have big ideas pheonix and no, YANBU.

I have recovered from this - a friend and DH invited people from their uni days to their DS wedding, but local friends, some of us, were only invited to the church service. We were not invited BUT sent the John Lewis gift list nonetheless.

Wedding photos on FB, several rows of empty seats, and yes I did send her lovely son and his lovely new wife a gift.

Took me 6 months to calm down though.

The cheek lol!

Some people.

Doesn’t a church hall need a caterer with insurance, food hygiene certificates etc to prepare and serve food from it?

No, don't do it, I would feel very annoyed being asked to do this, and not invited to thru christening.

I’d let her know in the strictest of confidence that it is a condition of your bail/Community Service order that you do not prepare foods available to the public.

OR

Dear J, how lovely for you to invite me to baby’s Christening & the bacon buffet afterwards. It occurs to me that you may not be aware that I am now a devout Pagan/Jew/Muslim/Jedi (delete/amend as required) & cannot labour/touch pork products/do stuff on the Sabbath. etc (amend/delete as required). Alas, I shall have to decline.

Whether you know her daughter well or not isn't the issue. Close friend or not, you are not the 'help'. It was both rude and unreasonable to ask this of you in the first place, much less not to invite you.

A true friend wouldn't put you in this position. I would tactfully decline and maintain my distance going forward.

I would ring her up at say that now you have checked with Mr Phoenix, you realise it is the very day you have been invited to some old friends of his, so sorry, no, you can't help out.

Unless of course you want to go the forthright road and tell her that you frankly thought she was having you on, but thought you had better ring back in case she meant it seriously.

Then add that you are not so short of cash that she needs to make up jobs for you, and that you aren't able to help her out.

Not to put too fine a point upon it, she has a bloody nerve, hasn't she?

as Jay from modern family would say I’ve already got a more pressing engagement at the blow your own brains out jamboree!!! Or any other activity for that matter since anything else would be preferable!

Terrible...not even invited to the christening! Glad you're not doing it.

She is obviously a reasonably close friend as you talk to her twice a week. It seems a reasonable request to me. Why not do it? And enjoy a lunch out afterwards. She obviously feels she can trust you with the task. Be flattered and enjoy the day.

Do you have extraordinary bacon cooking skills phoenix?

If the Christening is part of the ususal sunday service, which it sounds like, you could just turn up at the font in your pinny smelling of bacon grease and waving a frying pan around

Im sure they could cook the rolls themselves the day before, wrap in foil and stick them in the oven to warm!!!

Just tell her that a very good friend has invited you to a Christening on the same morning.

The only thing that comes to mind is funerals. You ask a neighbour who is not family to come in and put the kettle on ready for when everyone gets back. On the plus side she feels close enough to you to make such a request. Is she so sntressed out about it all she has lost perspective?

If she's a reasonably close friend why not invite Phoenix and Mr Phoenix to the christening?

Mentioning the christening created a sense of anticipation - I would be expecting the next sentence to be "I do hope you'll both be able to join us for the happy occasion".

Not will you be a skivvy and cook bacon rolls for all the guests!

This is why I love Gransnet!! This is the funniest thing I have read all day and I will read it all again tonight!!! Phoenix, you do ‘ave them !!

Thank you. I like my bacon well done ??

tell her you vegetarian and cant stand the smell of bacon...yuk

Granless
Shall we all gatecrash?
Say that we were in church and the smell of bacon cooking kept wafting over

Many thanks for all the posts and the

GrannySquare if you read back, we have not actually been invited to the Christening, just asked to cook the bacon!

Do you know, I'm actually now looking forward to speaking to her and saying NO

Having a bet with myself as to what her reaction will be!