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To think this is a damn cheek!

(149 Posts)
phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 18:40:47

Hello all, good wishes and pass the smelling salts to those who may have had a fit of the vapours at me posting on AIBUgrin (I think it may be the second time?)

Aaaanyway, had a call yesterday from J, a friend. We speak a couple of times a week, but havent actually seen each other for about 18 months, (even though we live reasonably close, about 20 minutes drive, which is reasonably close by Devon standards!) since they downsized to a tiny bungalow. (They keep threatening to invite us over, but it never happens, I have invited them to us, but J' s job involves very odd hours, getting up at 2am etc.

After the usual chit chat, me telling her about flooded bathroom on Monday sad, Mr P being unwell, losing days at work and therefore pay, asking after her father who has just had a knee replacement, she proceeded to tell me that it was her first grandchilds christening on Sunday December 1st, at 9am.

There is a gathering afterwards at the Memorial Hall, her daughter thought that bacon rolls and a bit of Christening cake would do. Sounds sensible.

Then she asked if I would be prepared to go to the Memorial Hall and cook the bacon shock I wouldn't be expected to do any of the clearing/cleaning after, just cook the bacon.

They would be happy to pay me, and take Mr P & I out for lunch after.

I was so caught off guard, that I was ( to use the vernacular) gobsmacked! Said I would get back to her.

I'm not prepared to do it, don't want to be tied in to being somewhere quite early on a Sunday morning, prefer to wander around in my PJ's drinking coffee!

However, as a gesture, I have contacted a local caterer who comes to my place of work and does bacon rolls from her van (not one with a cooking facility, iykwim) to ask her how she keeps the bacon hot.(J doesnt know this, will present her with the info)

Perhaps passing this info on to J will help wink

Sorry for the ramble, so AIBU?

FarNorth Thu 07-Nov-19 18:43:51

YABVR, in contacting the caterer.
J is BVU.

Iam64 Thu 07-Nov-19 18:43:57

Nope, not BU in anyway phoenix.
Your 'friend' was totally BU imo
don't do it girl!

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 18:48:15

Sorry, FarNorth what does YABVR stand for?

Calendargirl Thu 07-Nov-19 18:50:55

If they’re willing to pay you, don’t expect you to clean up etc, will take you to lunch after, I just wonder why you have been approached to do this. May as well get a local caterer person to do it who would clear up also, and not have to be taken to lunch after. Cheaper.
Are you noted for your expert bacon cooking?

No, I can understand why you don’t want to do it, especially as it seems you don’t actually meet up very often.

Would they have invited you to the Christening apart from this?

Calendargirl Thu 07-Nov-19 18:51:59

YABVR- You are being very reasonable?

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 18:56:42

Calendargirl thanks for the clarification!

I/we are NOT invited to the Christening! Just asked to cook the bloody bacon!

sodapop Thu 07-Nov-19 19:03:04

Well that just about takes the bacon Phoenix why can they not get a caterer in and invite you to the christening in the normal way. It's a no from me.

Anniebach Thu 07-Nov-19 19:04:06

Not invited ? Tell her your vegan

Charleygirl5 Thu 07-Nov-19 19:04:34

I think it is a cheek on her part and a rather odd request.

Either tell her straight you do not want to do it or make up some excuse that you and Mr. P are going wherever for the day. She is unlikely to be driving past to check up.

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 19:06:44

To add, as far as I'm aware, the parents of the baby are not even remotely religious, seems to me like an excuse for a get together/party and presents!

Although I have my own beliefs, neither of my boys had Christenings.

crazyH Thu 07-Nov-19 19:08:03

What a blinking cheek !!!!!?Tell her to do it herself - I've got a large grill she can borrow ?

Sara65 Thu 07-Nov-19 19:09:26

This all sounds very odd to me, I’m sat here giggling to myself at the thought of it.

If someone asked me to do this, especially someone I wasn’t close to, I’d tell them what they could do with their bloody bacon, honestly, what a nerve!

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 19:20:20

We've been friends for many years, although there was a rocky patch over the loan of a car!

The hall has a fully equipped kitchen, so J doesn't need anything supplied, just some mug to cook the bloody bacon!

Much as I might enjoy a Sunday lunch out, it will be a "no" from me!

But as mentioned, I hope to soften the blow by passing on the tips from the mobile caterer that comes to work.I

Many thanks for the responses.

Callistemon Thu 07-Nov-19 19:24:07

sodapop great answer!

I would be pig sick, phoenix.

I've never heard of bacon butties being offered at a christening 'do' before, how odd.


Bridgeit Thu 07-Nov-19 19:29:47

Is this a windup ?

M0nica Thu 07-Nov-19 19:34:23

From Phoenix? of course not.

merlotgran Thu 07-Nov-19 19:38:01

Oh No! Not the Car Friend? shock

Don't do it, Phoenix. Tell her you don't have a food handler's certificate. grin

Doodle Thu 07-Nov-19 19:39:33

No I think not bridgit. Bacon butties after a church service (CofE) anyway is quite normal. I would think if the family are general church goers they could ask a church regular to help as there are many who do. I don’t think I would be inclined to help out phoenix but I do wonder if they think you might need the money. (I am putting my reasonable hat on here) when DH was off work I’ll and money in short supply, some friends of ours offered to pay him to help with computer work. Don’t imagine you’d get paid much for cooking some bacon though so probably in your position I’d say no. In my position I’d say yes because I love bacon and would do anything for a bacon roll. ?

Doodle Thu 07-Nov-19 19:40:11

Ill not I’ll

phoenix Thu 07-Nov-19 19:41:06

Bridgeit NO! Long standing member, do not do wind ups! M0nica Thankyou!

Callistemon I think the idea of the bacon rolls (which, apparently came from the mother of the baby) was prompted by the fact that the church service is at 9am. In a way, I can see the sense in that, after all its not quite the time of day for a cream tea & sponge cake!

But as for asking me to cook the bloody bacon....

merlotgran Thu 07-Nov-19 19:41:23

I've never heard of bacon butties being offered at a christening 'do' before, how odd

Neither have I, Callistemon. Just think of all that tomato ketchup dribbling down chins while they're Mwah Mwahing under posh hats or clucking over the baby's pristine Christening gown. shock

annodomini Thu 07-Nov-19 19:42:59

Your solution is sensible and tactful. If she doesn't like it, she can lump it!

Bridgeit Thu 07-Nov-19 19:50:05

Ok thanks , apologies , best wishes Phoenix , hope you get it sorted out?

Desdemona Thu 07-Nov-19 19:56:44

All very odd, I think I would turn it down. If she is your friend she should have invited you to the christening, not asked you to cook up bacon!

I admit I did laugh a bit at your post, which is no mean feat as I have had a horrible day. (Sorry xx)