I had breast cancer 10 years ago. I had surgery, chemo and radiotherapy.
I had all of my lymph nodes tested - 23/24 affected.
Then I had BC on the other breast. I had surgery and reconstruction on both breasts, then another bout of chemo.
Then I had ovarian cancer and had an oopherectomy.
I was told at that point that I was stage 4.
For six/seven years I have been symptom free.
Now I am not.
I have been told that my cancer has spread to my bones (spine), and more frighteningly, my liver.
Oncologist is offering pain relief, as and when necessary. There is nothing more to be done.
I was told this yesterday, but already knew it, I just knew something was not right.
I feel fabulous. Absolutely nothing wrong with me. I have had donkey day today, mucking out, sorting donkeys, llamas, goats, chickens and rabbits. All as normal.
Then it hits. I wont be here next Christmas. I dont know how to feel.
No one can tell me. Obviously, they are dead. (Apologies for the black humour).
80% of the time I am me, normal.
20% of the time I am a quivering wreck.
I look at my children, my grandchildren, and think I will not be a part of their story soon.
I actually cope very well. Its just that when it hits, it hits hard.
Apologies to you all, I KNOW there is nothing you can say to make it better, I just needed to let it out.
EllaKeat Wed 11-Dec-19 17:39:31
tanith Wed 11-Dec-19 17:47:20
Calendargirl Wed 11-Dec-19 17:51:35
GrandmaMoira Wed 11-Dec-19 17:58:00
Susan56 Wed 11-Dec-19 18:08:25
Madgran77 Wed 11-Dec-19 18:08:34
crystaltipps Wed 11-Dec-19 18:12:24
EllaKeat Wed 11-Dec-19 18:13:45
EllaKeat Wed 11-Dec-19 18:16:07
NanaandGrampy Wed 11-Dec-19 18:18:51
NanaandGrampy Wed 11-Dec-19 18:19:26
EllaKeat Wed 11-Dec-19 18:23:26
Madgran77 Wed 11-Dec-19 18:36:10
Sillygrandma5GK Wed 11-Dec-19 18:51:38
KatyK Wed 11-Dec-19 18:55:59
Nanabanana1 Wed 11-Dec-19 19:00:23
BlueBelle Wed 11-Dec-19 19:00:25
PamGeo Wed 11-Dec-19 19:00:49
nanaK54 Wed 11-Dec-19 19:05:52
Ninarosa Wed 11-Dec-19 19:06:38
Marydoll Wed 11-Dec-19 19:11:48
Daddima Wed 11-Dec-19 19:13:34
Auntieflo Wed 11-Dec-19 19:14:37
Scribbles Wed 11-Dec-19 19:19:30
lavenderzen Wed 11-Dec-19 19:20:04