Gransnet forums

AIBU

Outdoor shoes inside

(379 Posts)
Pudding123 Thu 26-Dec-19 13:37:27

AIBU My sister and BiL live 80 miles away but come to me about 3 times a year ,they dislike my husband with good reason and as I don't drive the train journey is now not an option for me ( last time I did it it took 6 hours including 2 buses and changing trains)They see 3 different relatives in the one day.Anyway when they come they are both 70 but as for as fiddles and I am always glad to see them but they refuse to take their shoes off and I have cream carpets.They say" we are not taking our shoes off we will sit in the kitchen" but my kitchen is colder than the rest of the house and we can't all sit round the table.I said " no come in the lounge it's more comfortable/festive" to which there was a lot of h huffing and puffing my sister took her ankle boots off but my B i l point blank refused .What do you think?I asked them what they did when they had just visited Bils very houseproud daughter they said we say in the kitchen...

Naty Fri 27-Dec-19 22:11:31

I would never insist on them taking their shoes off....I would just ask.

If they were to refuse, I'd never invite them over again because their gross shoes are more important to them than my family's health, comfort and time cleaning up after them.

Callistemon Fri 27-Dec-19 22:18:50

Why should anyone's shoes be gross?

There are probably more germs inside you than on a pair of relatively clean shoes.

Nanny41 Fri 27-Dec-19 22:19:22

I live in a Scandinavian country and everyone take their shoes off as they enter, it looks like jumble sale at times and people have to step over mounds of shoes as they come in, but even tiny childrenn take their shoes off so it isnt a big deal.The amusing part I find is when people arrive dressed up so to speak, then walk around in their stocking feet, it doesnt go really.I usually take other shoes with me or at a more informal catch up I take my slippers.Here nobody would think of not taking their outdoor shoes off,different countries different customs I suppose.

Doodledog Fri 27-Dec-19 22:22:07

You seem very obsessed with shoes, Naty. I've honestly never heard of anyone suffering ill health because of someone else's shoes; but if someone had a compromised immune system that could be made worse as a result of my footwear (as mentioned upthread) then of course I would take mine off without a second thought if asked.

As a matter of course, though, my shoes are not gross. they are clean when I leave the house, and usually when I am visiting others I have only walked up their drive or garden path in them.

Callistemon Fri 27-Dec-19 22:23:28

Yes, we did too and had those felt slippers offered if we went anywhere. I took my own..it was a good way of getting the wooden floors dusted!!

Helen369 Fri 27-Dec-19 22:28:37

We have always removed our shoes at the front door and I always take mine off when I visit anyone else’s home. To my mind it’s just good manners.Although I never ask visitors to remove their shoes, I find most do anyway including workmen. It just seems so dirty to do otherwise, especially when you have young grandchildren playing on the floor.

Naty Fri 27-Dec-19 22:30:02

I am concerned with cleanliness, yes.

Many people enjoy touching babies' faces too because they think they are cleaner than others and that they can bend the rules by saying "Oh...I don't need to wash my hands..I've only come from home." Meanwhile, they've just touched the steering wheel of the car, their purse, their face, their bag, money...etc.

I think I just struggle to understand why people think it's okay to neglect to follow hygienic practices that benefit everyone.

Callistemon Fri 27-Dec-19 22:47:19

If you asked me to take off my shoes I would, but would prefer prior warning so that I could being my own indoor shoes with me. You could scrub them before I put them on, if you preferred as they did once when we entered Australia during the foot and mouth epidemic.
Do you insist that people wash their hands as soon as they arrive at your house?

I wouldn't dream of touching your baby without permission.

I resent the fact that you infer I am not hygienic or clean.

I could always scrub my house with disinfectant after you've left.

However, more children have allergies, asthma etc these days as a result of their parents' horror of germs.

Meta Fri 27-Dec-19 22:50:31

Just want to point out that there is actually a risk from dog poo of toxocaraisis, this can cause visual impairment. It is rare but does happen- surely removing outdoor shoes if possible is a good idea, particularly if small children will be playing on the floors.

Callistemon Fri 27-Dec-19 22:59:07

I have known about toxocariasis for years; children are likely to come into contact with dog faeces outside in parks etc, which is why I have been a campaigner for play parks to be fenced off from dogs.

Surely someone would be immediately aware that they have stepped in dog faeces and would not tramp it through someone's house?

This thread is going beyond a chat about being house proud, when posters are being insulted about their hygiene and cleanliness.

Not you Meta I agree with you, but think it is unlikely to happen - the smell would be enough to alert anyone!

Doodledog Fri 27-Dec-19 23:04:29

We are straying into strange territory now. What has taking off shoes to do with touching babies?

Yes, some people have dirty habits, such as not washing their hands after going to the loo, but that is not what we are talking about, and there is no causal link between not being comfortable with wearing shoe protectors indoors and touching babies with dirty hands, or any other manky behaviour.

4allweknow Sat 28-Dec-19 00:18:27

Taking shoes off is a relatively recent expectation in UK. Only country I have been in where outdoors footwear has been removed for decades is Japan. Even entering hospital's outdoor footwear is removed. I don't get upset if someone doesn't take shoes off even having light coloured carpets. Your guests are being decent to go in the kitchen, put some heating on or the oven and sit there with them.

wetflannel Sat 28-Dec-19 00:42:22

I have a polite sign on my front door,which say's please remove your shoes. I do not want muck trod into my home especially if it has been pouring with rain. My house,my rules. I always remove my shoes in other people's homes.

TwinLolly Sat 28-Dec-19 03:18:33

It's your house therefore your rules and they should be respected. I would find it very rude if they did what they wanted in my house.

Perhaps get some spare pairs of cheap slippers and let them use them when they come around....

suzied Sat 28-Dec-19 08:45:22

It is the norm in many cultures to take shoes off in the hallway, and I think it’s increasingly the norm here, my GC always take their shoes off and leave them in a pile in the hall. No one should think it a chore or offensive to do that. We’ve a collection of hotel slippers in packets, which can be used, though few people are bothered. We do have a nice original oak floor which I don’t want unavoidably damaged, which I think is fair enough.

Jane10 Sat 28-Dec-19 09:06:30

It certainly isn't the norm where we live and never has been. As previously stated troops of patients poured into our house over the years. Our dining room was the waiting room for Dad's GP practice. There was no question of shoe removal and we were a very healthy family.
There's no point I continuing this thread. Many of us think it's rude to expect visitors to remove footwear, others feel the opposite. I won't be visiting them. ?

Grannyguitar Sat 28-Dec-19 09:40:54

I find it rather unwelcoming when I am asked to remove shoes. A bit like when you get up from a sofa and the cushions are immediately plumped - I have disturbed their amazing house. So why invite me in the first place!

Barmeyoldbat Sat 28-Dec-19 09:52:24

Don't people get uptight about a simple thing of removing shoes and wandering around shoeless in doors. Its natural to be barefooted and relaxing

Grandma70s Sat 28-Dec-19 09:56:08

I have now reached the stage with this thread where I simply can’t tell whether the posts are serious or jokes.

I have ever asked anyone to remove their shoes.

Nobody has ever asked me to remove mine in an ordinary domestic setting.

The thought of guests (or anyone) wearing plastic shoe covers to protect the carpets is just beyond parody. Good old Hyacinth Bucket.

Callistemon Sat 28-Dec-19 09:56:30

I would always offer to remove my shoes although I find it difficult to walk in bare feet or those awful 'hotel slippers' but am always relieved when lovely, welcoming hosts say, no that's fine. Frankly a notice on the door or an order to take your shoes off when you're barely through the front door would seem most unwelcoming!

Grannyguitar absolutely!
Jane10, I agree, it is a pointless discussion.

Callistemon Sat 28-Dec-19 09:58:08

Barmeyoldbat not with my feet!

Anyway, better shoes than someone's veruccas or athlete's foot.

Hetty58 Sat 28-Dec-19 10:00:21

Callistemon, you may find it unwelcoming - but I think it's very bad mannered to trot into my clean house in your dirty shoes!

Callistemon Sat 28-Dec-19 10:02:44

Grandma70s grin

I would become so nervous in a house like that that my hand would shake and I'd be rattling the cup and saucer and spilling the tea like Hyacinth's neighbour Elizabeth!

Callistemon Sat 28-Dec-19 10:07:58

Hetty58
For goodness' sake, I just said in a couple of posts I would say as I came through the door 'would you like me to take my shoes off?'
If I was staying for any length of time I'd like to know I advance so that I could take my indoor shoes with me, hope that would meet with approval.

If yes, I would assume they were extremely house proud or had new carpets.

Jane10 yes, completely pointless as people don't read posts before making rude comments.

I am not in the slightest ill-mannered.

Rissybee Sat 28-Dec-19 10:12:12

I’ve never asked or expected guests to remove their shoes, nor do friends I visit. Why have any sort of flooring that you have to worry about so much? Modern hoovers, steam cleaners and carpet shampooers make light work of removing dirt. I’ve always believed that my home should be comfortable and welcoming and make guests feel wanted. I’ve always found that visitors with mucky shoes automatically remove them. If you expect your gp to remove his shoes what do you do about ambulance staff, paramedics, drivers, police etc? I suppose the next thing will be disinfectant footbaths at the front door ha!ha!