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AIBU

Outdoor shoes inside

(378 Posts)
Pudding123 Thu 26-Dec-19 13:37:27

AIBU My sister and BiL live 80 miles away but come to me about 3 times a year ,they dislike my husband with good reason and as I don't drive the train journey is now not an option for me ( last time I did it it took 6 hours including 2 buses and changing trains)They see 3 different relatives in the one day.Anyway when they come they are both 70 but as for as fiddles and I am always glad to see them but they refuse to take their shoes off and I have cream carpets.They say" we are not taking our shoes off we will sit in the kitchen" but my kitchen is colder than the rest of the house and we can't all sit round the table.I said " no come in the lounge it's more comfortable/festive" to which there was a lot of h huffing and puffing my sister took her ankle boots off but my B i l point blank refused .What do you think?I asked them what they did when they had just visited Bils very houseproud daughter they said we say in the kitchen...

vinasol Thu 26-Dec-19 13:40:34

Some people are so selfish. I would never dream of wearing shoes if someone had a cream carpet! Why oh why did they not bring slippers with them. Some people beggar belief. It's your home, not theirs. It's up to you to choose where they sit, not them.

mumofmadboys Thu 26-Dec-19 13:43:12

When they are due to come next time could you say'please bring your slippers- keep your feet warm and good for my carpets' in a friendly, light hearted way?

dragonfly46 Thu 26-Dec-19 13:45:16

Personally I do not mind if people want to keep their shoes on in my house but I always take my shoes off at my DS's house as they are more particular. I take some light slippers.

BlueBelle Thu 26-Dec-19 13:48:43

I never expect people to take their shoes off and I ve never been asked to when visiting anyone but if I had new cream carpets I m pretty sure I would ask
Why not have some nice pull on slippers by the door very rude of them not to if you ve asked nicely

aggie Thu 26-Dec-19 13:49:36

I have a doormat at the front door and back door , and ditto inside , so visitors can leave dirt outside and do a bit of a shuffle inside to polish off , I don’t expect people to take off shoes !

Esspee Thu 26-Dec-19 14:52:54

I think it highly disrespectful to wear outdoor shoes indoors unless the floor surface is washable. We have fitted carpets and are happy to supply slippers to anyone who wants them.

Moocow Thu 26-Dec-19 14:53:44

Some people do not like others to see their feet - I discovered a few years ago. Others are surprisingly not as flexible as one would assume, when it comes down to getting shoes back on.

willa45 Thu 26-Dec-19 15:11:05

For health reasons, it's increasingly recommended that people remove their shoes indoors. We both own shoes that are 'indoors' only. We do encourage our guests and they comply for the most part, but a few have been hesitant at one time or another and I feel it's rude of me to push.

A realtor friend suggested disposable shoe covers for reluctant guests. They're the kind that doctors wear in the surgical theater. I did a search in Amazon and there are quite a few choices. Haven't decided to go with that yet, but I'm tempted.

MamaCaz Thu 26-Dec-19 15:12:11

I would not dream of refusing to remove my outdoor shoes if the person I was visiting asked me to - not unless they had excessively cold, uncarpeted floors, anyway!
Even then, I would respect their 'rule" as long as they gave me some slippers to wear.

Septimia Thu 26-Dec-19 15:19:04

We normally take outdoor shoes off, but our house is strangely configured so we don't always take them off at the front door.

Why not buy some of those plastic overshoes like the forensic people wear when working on a crime scene (a church near us has them as you have to walk across a field to get there). You could then ask your sister and BiL to put those on over their outdoor shoes when they visit.

Urmstongran Thu 26-Dec-19 15:45:52

Honestly could you even imagine being asked to do this back in the day? We are a funny lot when furnishings count for more than people’s feelings.

Perhaps we ought to go back to the days of linoleum like my mum had down in Old Trafford. No hurt feelings either way then!

Oopsminty Thu 26-Dec-19 15:52:57

Never asked anyone to take their shoes off.

But if asked I'd comply.

The only time I w agreed was at my husband's nephew's 21st

All the guests glammed up, padding around in bare feet

We still laugh about it now

Carpets can be cleaned

ladymuck Thu 26-Dec-19 15:57:23

If you are expecting them to visit, simply cover the carpet with old sheets, or you can buy rolls of plastic which are designed for that purpose.
When I'm expecting workmen, I always cover the carpet with old sheets, but sometimes, they are nice enough to remove their shoes without being asked.

quizqueen Thu 26-Dec-19 16:01:08

People who chose cream carpets are just asking for trouble, in my opinion. Other more 'people, animal, dropped food and spilt drinks' friendly shades are available!

SuzieQ178 Thu 26-Dec-19 16:02:07

Ours is an ‘indoor shoes only’ household, and all my own DC and GC have indoor shoes only rules in their own homes. Cream carpets all round - we are gluttons for punishment. We all remove shoes at respective homes without thinking about it, and as it’s our norm we do the same wherever we go. To us it’s only polite. But, we do not insist on imposing the rule other than with tradespeople as they’re supposed to use covers on work boots - we keep a pack in the porch shoe cupboard and do ask them to use them if necessary. Our DP (no longer with us) used to bring their slippers of their own accord when visiting, we never asked them to remove their shoes. If friends visit we never ask them to remove shoes either, but most ask if they should and we say only if they choose too. Most do, but if they don’t we go with it. We’ll not lose friendships over our self imposed rule. We can’t be too precious anyway as we’ve got cats and, as cat owners will testify, they only throw up on the carpet rather than the tiled floors! A can of spray foam carpet cleaner is a permanent fixture in the cupboard. Incidentally we are in the same age bracket as the OPs relatives.

kittylester Thu 26-Dec-19 16:06:55

We dint have ant rules like that at our house but some people do take their shoes off.

Oldbat1 Thu 26-Dec-19 16:07:54

Why is everyone so precious about their carpets? There has been much research done about people having too clean houses nowadays which is the reason for many many allergies. I don’t ask folk to remove their shoes but I will remove mine if I go to someone who does. Houses are to be lived in.

Urmstongran Thu 26-Dec-19 16:15:00

I was thinking of that very point oopsminty!

Imagine getting dressed up to go round to a neighbour’s house for drinks and discovering people there with bare feet, bunions, (verucca anyone?) or wearing fluffy slippers that are not a good look with any outfit or plastic (😱) overshoes making the occasion look like a murder scene!

Doodledog Thu 26-Dec-19 16:26:59

I think it is rude to ask people to take their shoes off if they have been invited to your house. Unexpected visitors are a different kettle of fish, IMO - if you impose yourself on people, you do it on their terms - but if you have been invited, it is up to the inviters to make you feel welcome.

I agree that this is a relatively new trend, and not one I like at all. We went to a party a few years ago. I had chosen my shoes to match my dress (including the heel height and so on), and couldn't believe it when we were asked to take them off and I was offered slipper socks instead confused.

As others have said, what about people sensitive about the state of their feet, or people who might have a hole in their sock that they didn't expect to be on public view?

I think that if you buy cream carpets, you get them in the knowledge that you will have a lot of shampooing to do, and that they will keep their 'new and pristine' condition for the first year at best.

pinkquartz Thu 26-Dec-19 16:41:51

For reasons of health care I now ask all visitors to either remove their footwear or put on the plastic shoe covers I provide.
The only objector ever was a boiler repair man!
he was sneaky and took them off again.
No-one else minds not even the GP's.
There are many countries where shoe removal is expected and I feel it is much nicer to not walk through all the crap on the pavements and then into a home.
Apparently 70% of germs and viruses are walked in
I have noticed since being strict about shoe removal how much cleaner all my floors stay .( I am too ill to clean and with all the cutbacks I no longer have daily carers).

Saxifrage Thu 26-Dec-19 16:45:14

I choose my shoes carefully to go with the outfit I am wearing. No outfit looks good with slippers! In addition I suffer with cold feet so need shoes to feel comfortable. I agree that when you buy carpets you should expect them to be walked on. Very rude to expect your guests to be uncomfortable.

tanith Thu 26-Dec-19 16:46:11

I don’t care either way in my own house all my downstairs floors are washable. I will remove my own when I go to houses that I know don’t wear shoes in the house.

Greeneyedgirl Thu 26-Dec-19 17:37:53

We don’t have cream carpets but wooden floors and high heels ruin them so they have to come off. I never wear outdoor shoes in other people’s homes. It’s a personal thing, but not really life threatening is it?

MamaCaz Thu 26-Dec-19 17:59:27

I think it is very rude to visit someone, whether invited or not, and knowingly go against their house rules.