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AIBU

Outdoor shoes inside

(379 Posts)
Pudding123 Thu 26-Dec-19 13:37:27

AIBU My sister and BiL live 80 miles away but come to me about 3 times a year ,they dislike my husband with good reason and as I don't drive the train journey is now not an option for me ( last time I did it it took 6 hours including 2 buses and changing trains)They see 3 different relatives in the one day.Anyway when they come they are both 70 but as for as fiddles and I am always glad to see them but they refuse to take their shoes off and I have cream carpets.They say" we are not taking our shoes off we will sit in the kitchen" but my kitchen is colder than the rest of the house and we can't all sit round the table.I said " no come in the lounge it's more comfortable/festive" to which there was a lot of h huffing and puffing my sister took her ankle boots off but my B i l point blank refused .What do you think?I asked them what they did when they had just visited Bils very houseproud daughter they said we say in the kitchen...

Jane10 Fri 27-Dec-19 12:56:11

yehbutnobut- we'd have had to have a massive porch for all the patients' shoes! It just didn't happen.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 27-Dec-19 12:58:40

Raised 5 Children in a house with cream carpets throughout except kitchen / diner, bathrooms and utility room.

Always a shoes off house except for annual pre Christmas Party, 18th and 21st birthday parties, just got it cleaned afterwards.

I always offer o take my shoes off in other people’s houses.

notanan2 Fri 27-Dec-19 12:59:09

I don’t understand this business of removing your shoes when you visit someones house. I wouldn’t dream of asking anyone to take their shoes off at the door as I think that is the height of bad manners. Fancy asking guests to remove their shoes before they are allowed into your very precious house!.
A bit of dirt never hurt anyone and I’m so glad that I don’t actually have any friends who are so fistidious.

I agree. All of my family remove shoes indoors, but it's a comfort thing! "Ahh kick off your shoes you're home" sort of feeling!

They are FLOORS! we don't eat off them! The outside isnt evil anyway, if a bit of mud gets walked in we would just clean it

Alexa Fri 27-Dec-19 13:05:54

I agree Notanan. There is definitely a moral dimension to this discussion. I am a hard floor goat but not a carpet sheep.

Bossyrossy Fri 27-Dec-19 13:06:54

As others have said, slippers or plastic slip overs are not a good look with a party dress or smart outfit. Why do people get cream carpets downstairs? They are really only suitable for bedrooms where slippers or bare feet are acceptable. Asking visitors to remove their shoes when they visit is a relatively new phenomenon, some people are far too house proud (probably the same posters who wash their towels after every use and change their sheets more than once a week.)

Callistemon Fri 27-Dec-19 13:07:01

My friends and family are more precious than my carpets!

If they take off their shoes, fine, and I would insist that the DGC take off their shoes if they've been playing in the garden but otherwise just vacuum/clean when they've gone.

beverly10 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:07:35

quizqueen
I choose carpet colour for myself not for who might visit.
I have mats placed at my front door where I would expect visitors be courteous and use this facility.Failure to do so then into my tiled kitchen where a quick mop over the tiles takes but minutes after they have left.Hopefully they get the message before their next visit as once again it will be the kitchen.

Nannan2 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:07:44

Ive got washable flooring all downstairs so im not as bothered i guess but i do like people to remove them if theyre going up the carpeted stairs& landing area, but thats for germs sake,(or anything they may have unknowingly trod on ?) but the thing that angers me is,that although everyone seems to comply with this 'unspoken' rule in the homes of my elder children,(we all file in& we all just remove shoes)hardly any of them seems to think it counts in my house just because im their parent! (middle daughters family do,but thats because their so used to doing it i guess,its automatic)even the older one of my last 2 'children' at home(21&16) doesnt if he can get away with it,youngest takes them off when he gets in,but leaves them scattered where hes left them,but at least hes complied?Even housing association workmen just trudge upstairs in big boots,& when i asked some to remove them claim their not supposed to for health& safety reasons.They are supposed to carry shoe covers,but most of them cant be bothered.A couple of the younger workmen go get some if you ask tthem to.Its so annoying though,especially the family's attitude.tchangry

Callistemon Fri 27-Dec-19 13:09:39

Plastic slipovers
shock I think I would just go home again rather than be asked to wear these when visiting someone's house!
When workmen came in I was pleased they brought their own plastic slipovers but as for visitors wearing them - no!

There must be a few Hyacinth Buckets around.

Nannan2 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:13:53

And no,my stairs/ landing carpet isnt cream its a mid grey.so its not a 'being precious' issue.

Nannan2 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:21:54

No,i dont expect family to don plastic slipovers, just the workmen wearing them would be nice,i think if their bosses have provided them for that purpose then why not use them,goodness knows where they've been trampling in those big bulky workbootstchangry But im not expecting family to do anything we'rehmm not all willing to do in their homes,by just removing shoes at the door if their going upstairs.

Bossyrossy Fri 27-Dec-19 13:25:43

Is it a class thing? I can’t imagine anyone asking the queen or Prince Charles to remove their shoes when they visit one of their upper class friend’s stately home or asking titled people who visit them to remove their shoes. Admittedly, they don’t have to personally wash the floors or hoover the carpets and such homes usually have an assortment of dogs roaming around anyway. Each to their own I guess.

beverly10 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:26:15

GrannyGravy13
Come visit me anytime

NannyG123 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:27:13

If asked I take shoes off. And next time I went I would take slippers. In my daughter house I leave a pair of slippers there.

Tedber Fri 27-Dec-19 13:29:51

When I got new lounge carpets I thought it was a very good idea to ask people to remove their shoes. It didn't last long! Nobody objected, they just took far too long on a fleeing visit to put them back on again- kids especially and that is IF they could find them!

I always try to take my slippers if I know I am going to be spending any amount of time at others houses but I detest walking around barefoot for some reason?

firdaus19 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:32:03

What an interesting thread!! I never would have dreamed that taking outdoor shoes off could be a 'thing' here in the UK.
I did it for years (decades, actually) but always associated it with foreign expectations of courtesy.
Once we even stayed somewhere with an indoor/outdoor rule not only for shoes but for CLOTHES, too!! A special changing room had been set up for it. You definitely thought twice before choosing to nip out of the house! There were many children in the house and the purpose of the rule was health related, to keep germs out.

Maccyt1955 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:36:14

‘ Urmstongram’, your Post was hilarious. Yes exactly..are there really people in this world you would ask you to put shoe covers or slippers on in their house.
obviously there are.
I wouldn’t go anywhere near that kind of host anyway.
If you don’t want people in your house, don’t choose cream carpets!

palliser65 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:37:53

I do sympathise. Rather than cause any energy sapping stress I'd go and buy some cheap rugs from Ikea/Home Bargains and scatter them about 'casually'. Wash them and then store for next visit. Good Luck.

Grandma70s Fri 27-Dec-19 13:38:17

I do think it’s partly a class thing. See Hyacinth Bouquet and Last of the Summer Wine again.

We had indoor and outdoor shoes at school, but there were 500 pairs of feet, so a bit different from an ordinary house. In homes, your own or anybody else’s, it’s a matter of using common sense. Wipe your feet on the doormat. If they are still really dirty, take shoes off, but not otherwise. Have sensible carpets downstairs (not pale).

These people who worry about small children playing on carpets that may have a bit of outdoor dirt on them - do they also disapprove of children playing out of doors, probably on the ground some of the time?

Llamedos13 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:38:40

It’s definately the thing to do here in Canada, just about everybody takes off their shoes,it’s automatic, in fact,if someone does not remove shoes it seems very odd!

Nannan2 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:46:47

tchgrin thats the annoying thing for me- i always had my kids remove their shoes when they came in as children,and to do so in others homes to show a bit of respect for others property,and as i said,they do it in each others homes,but its like now that theyre adults the same rules dont apply in my house any more! Its odd,and very irritating.tchangry

DillytheGardener Fri 27-Dec-19 13:54:39

My friend who has two dils from japan has through their influence made a no shoes policy in her home.
She has a large basket of slide slippers in different sizes at the entrance of her home.
She said it has made a big difference in the amount of housecleaning she has to do. One hoover a week and no touch ups in between.
My house is impossible to keep clean, two dogs that shed and bring in dirt from the park and a bunch of men with foot ball boots.hmm

Nannan2 Fri 27-Dec-19 13:57:18

Its not a class thing at all Grandma70's! tchgrin im not as posh as Hyacincth ,but not completely common either! I was brought up to respect peoples homes and have done same with my children.as they have done with theirs.( yes the GC always DO remove their shoes,putting their parents to shametchgrin

Nannan2 Fri 27-Dec-19 14:00:26

They still DO have plimsolls at schools for indoors,or 'pumps' as theyre called in the north& northwestgrin

Nannan2 Fri 27-Dec-19 14:03:08

I think schools do that to protect the floorshmm