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AIBU

AIBU to think washing up is not the job of a cleaner?

(116 Posts)
bulldogPaige Fri 03-Jan-20 15:24:55

Please can you help me settle an argument with DH.

Last night I was feeling ill so went to bed early, without doing the washing up, leaving quite a lot of dishes in the sink.

I got up early in the morning to see that DH hadn't sorted out the washing (surprise, surprise) and the sink was still full.

I started do the washing but DH told me to stop! He said that he'd left it deliberately because our cleaner was coming in that morning, and she could sort it out.

I was furious! I said that's not the cleaner's job, she's here to clean not tidy ect, and every minute she spends washing up is time wasted that she could spend cleaning other parts of the house.

Well DH said that we pay her a fee by the hour, not by the task, and if we ask her to do something which helps us keep our house clean, surely that's exactly her job?

So.... What I'm asking is, what do people think? Do you agree with me that washing up should be done by the people who live in the house, or do you think that DH was right, and all cleaning is part of the job description???

Nannan2 Sat 04-Jan-20 18:54:18

I nag my sons,21&16 to actually move their stuff so our cleaning lady can actually CLEAN, and it is working after a fashion,we've not had here long,and it works well to threaten the youngest that if he doesnt keep up with his own room that "ill send in the cleaner with a binbag"-which seems to make him shift his rubbish at the 11th hour so to speakgrin

Barmeyoldbat Sat 04-Jan-20 19:04:53

Nannan2, yes I can relate to your post. When I had my cleaner twice a week I had 2 children, 17 and 19 at home who were suppose to jobs around the house. Both were working. They didn't do the jobs hence the cleaner and every week I asked them for a quarter share of her wages and threatened that if they didn't keep the house in between then I would employ her a 3rd a week which would hit their pockets. It worked.

Nannan2 Sat 04-Jan-20 19:10:08

Yes paperbackbutterfly,i too have a cleaner,but only 2/3hours every fortnight,ive done so as im waiting for both knees replacing,and my sons do try help but both have medical/health problems of their own,so for us its a necessity,not a luxury.we had one from age uk but then after 2yrs could no longer afford as their prices went sky high.so we struggled for a year without,and as you say,it mostly didnt get done,but now ive found a reasonably priced treasure as an old friend of my daughter's started a cleaning buisness.but otherwise no, i too could not afford either.i pay out of my PIP benefit. But council no longer provide 'home helps' either sadbut we shouldnt have to justify why we need/ have one.hmm

Nannan2 Sat 04-Jan-20 19:14:32

Yes,my sons both have slight disabilities though,and also medical issues,so its not intentioned,and they
do struggle a bit.we all kind of muddle along.But definately need the cleaners help.smile

Nannan2 Sat 04-Jan-20 19:17:45

Thanks for the support Barmeyoldbat smile

Iam64 Sat 04-Jan-20 19:45:09

It sounds as though your husband decided he didn't need to do the washing up because the cleaner was coming and she could do it.
I'd have been cross as well. Washing up, drying and putting away will take a chunk out of her cleaning hours. Hope he picks up the work she couldn't fit in.

optimist Sat 04-Jan-20 19:57:48

I leave my cleaner to decide what needs doing (including washing up if there is any). She is familiar with the house and tasks and my funny little ways.

EMMF1948 Sat 04-Jan-20 21:05:15

Our house was never tidier than the mornings the cleaner was coming!! Her role was to clean, not tidy up, such a waste of time. One cleaner cleared away the children's on-going Monopoly game though, they were furious!

Daisyboots Sat 04-Jan-20 23:13:40

BulldogPaige it was your husband who should have done the washing up the night before as you went to bed feeling poorly. His complaining was just a guilty conscience because he hadnt done it himself. Does he even do anything around the house. We have a cleaner and she is worth her weight in gold especially with me not being able to do much now. We have a dishwasher so virtually everything goes in that but if there was something left on the side she would wash it up. Like most people we tidy before she comes and my husband empties all the bins round the house and the cat litter tray before she arrives.
More important to me is that she changes the bed linen and if the weather is ok will put it in the washing machine and then hang it out. I dread the day she says she is going to retire. She says she has no intention of retiring but one never knows.

Maccyt1955 Sun 05-Jan-20 09:28:22

We have a cleaner who does two hours fortnightly.
I see clients at home so it is important to me that the house is tidy and clean.
I would never ask a cleaner to wash up...there are far more necessary things to be done, like hoovering, dusting, floors, occasionally changing bed linen, loos etc.
Also..I don’t think it is very respectful to your cleaner...yes I know their job is to clean, but not to do the jobs you are too lazy to do.

newnanny Sun 05-Jan-20 23:51:36

We make sure house is tidy so cleaner can hoover and steam mop etc. We always load and unload dishwasher ourselves however if dh and me both felt really unwell I know my cleaner would just load it up and run for me. My dh would always sort out dishwasher and make sure house was tidy before coming up to bed unless he also felt ill.

Neva2bananna Mon 06-Jan-20 13:13:41

I agree with OP and the majority on here. Pointless to pay the cleaner to do stuff I can easily do myself (plus I have a dishwasher) I employ a cleaner because I’m disabled and I’m happy to do what I can, when I can and washing up and putting stuff away pots, pans, clothes, shoes, books, magazines is cheaper for me to do myself!

ReadyMeals Mon 06-Jan-20 17:42:51

Maccy you need to widen your mind's scope - not everyone who would like their cleaner to wash up is too lazy to do it. In my particular case what I needed my cleaner for was precisely the tidying and washing up every day. At weekends I had plenty of time to clean my own toilets and vacuum but I could hardly leave the washing up festering all week. And it's not disrespectful because each cleaner has a free citizens choice to take on the job as specced or turn around and say "Ewww I am not doing your skanky dishes you lazy bum!"

Lizbethann55 Mon 06-Jan-20 22:29:31

I have a cleaner once a fortnight and he will do whatever I ask him to do. My house is tidier before he arrives than at any other time. I would much rather he did the jobs I don't want to do. I think asking him to wash up would be a waste of his time and my money. I think your husband was just being lazy and probably felt guilty about it the next day.

Eloethan Mon 06-Jan-20 23:52:39

I think a cleaner should do any (reasonable) thing that you have explained you would like to be done. The issue in this case seems to be that the OP's priorities are different from her partner's.

If having a cleaner causes such arguments and stress within the family I think it rather defeats the object of employing one.