Partner has pics of ex wife on Facebook

@mambypamby Crossed posts.

Good to hear that you are getting help.
I hope it goes well for you.

GSq

Everyone reacts differently, but children pick up and are often upset when there is family tension between partners past and present, it’s very stressful for them to try and walk the fine line whilst trying not to upset others. I’m in my second marriage now and have been for over 30years. My First husband has been married twice and divorced twice since then, with many short term partners in between. I never felt jealous of them, although l got the idea that some felt uncomfortable when l visited, such as collecting or dropping off my girls to their Dad, but most of them came to accept the situation without difficulty, as did my new husband of them. It was never a problem for family gatherings, no animosity whatsoever.
TBH, you do sound quite insecure in your new relationship, how do you expect to move forward and be happy if you insist on being so suspicious and jealous about your partners Past?

Really?

Get over yourself.

He & his Ex are part of your mutual friend’s own life. Do you really feel justified or entitled enough to manage who other people connect with & have in their life?

If you so bothered, approach the friend yourself. But I don’t think you will...

BTW pay attention to how you describe yourself: ‘fixated’, ‘driving me mad!’,’my resentment is compounded’.

Loosen up or get some help.

If you are insecure because you met him on the rebound, you are not doing yourself any favours by behaving this way. Ex is mother of his children, long term member of his family - she cannot be knocked off his radar or yours as it happens. Ex is part of the deal when you got together.

If you continue this way, he won’t go back to his ex but he may move on from you.

Need to clarify that it wasn’t just pics of them at a function together with others in the pic there was one or two of them on their own snuggled into each other - just feels weird to see that. I don’t have an issue with his past which obviously involved more than snuggling - they have 5 kids! - but I guess it does seem to be more about my need for a show of new beginnings. I know I have my own personal work to do and I am waiting for counselling to address my various demons. Just need to stop torturing myself!

OP! I really don't understand what you are getting at here.
You've had a "whirlwind romance" with a, separated when you met him and now divorced man and lived together for only one year.
You will never be able to erase his previous life, his marriage, to the Mother of his children, totally from his life. They have children, they might one day have Grandchildren.
Unless you can accept this, you are going to make yourself very miserable and possibly ruin this relationship.
He's with you!
If he wanted to be with her, he probably would be.

What if the kids get married/graduate? Are you going to tell them they cant have a pic with both their parent in it? And if they do it cant be on their fathers SM?

* but surely pics of just the two of them at festivals, as a couple etc*

It wasnt just them there if they were taken by, uploaded and tagged by his friends.

These are times he shared with the friends who tagged him. Shared memories. Part of the ongoing history of their friendship....

I agree with notanan2!

If you feel you can't discuss it with him, still not unreasonable- But actually NOT discussing it with him is another matter ..

So he cant say for example have pics on there of going to his best friends wedding 2 years ago, or of being his mates child's godfather 3 years ago, or a school reunion or holiday with friends etc etc etc, just because she was at his side at the time?

Seriously?

I understand the shared memories with friends but surely pics of just the two of them at festivals, as a couple etc - I regularly clear up my social media - and have removed pics of exes in the interests of good relations all round. I guess we are all different but I am interested to hear multiple views if nothing else as a form of gestalt therapy!

My DIL is just like this about my son's ex. They have no shared children but the ex is still good friends with my daughters. We are not allowed to mention her when DIL is present - quite ridiculous!

Your feelings arent unreasonable, there's nothing preventing you from checking to see if the image was removed, nothing preventing you from discussing the matter with him if it wasn't- He's your partner-

You've only been on the scene a shor time. Most of the times his friends spend with him will have been when he was with her. They are not UR to share memories and pics that go back more than 1yr only.

P.s. the GPs house is not a "shrine to the past". She is family present and future tense too as his co parent, the childrens mum, and the grandkids mum.

She cant be put away in a box and hidden in the attic

His life prior to you doesnt get erased just because youre on the scene. They share a past. They always will. If youre not ready to be with someone who had a life before you then youre just not ready to be with anyone.

They arent in a romantic relationship but they are in a relationship as parents. Theyre family. Forever.

No, you are not unreasonable. Very insensitive of your friend to have those pictures floating around on her FB page. In the early days, my ex's new wife didnt even like him to put photos of our children around his living room. But I think that has changed and he does have a couple of framed photos of the children.
They are not on FB, I'm pleased to say.