Gransnet forums

AIBU

Sending private messages through GN

(59 Posts)
evianers Tue 04-Feb-20 16:50:45

Is it unreasonable when you feel you have something in common with other GNetters, and have therefore sent them a private message, that you might become upset when they simply do not respond?

NanaandGrampy Sun 09-Feb-20 22:44:16

I don’t understand why you would think a pm intrusive Quizqueen ?

Is it not just someone reaching out to sympathise or offer support ? Or someone offering a recommendation to do with a post you made ? Rather than clog up a thread a pm makes so much more sense . I don’t think I understand your rationale ?

janeainsworth Sun 09-Feb-20 17:59:58

Ah thanks Callistemon smile

Marydoll Sun 09-Feb-20 14:53:01

Espee, if you look further up the thread, I have posted a screenshot of where your inbox can be found.

Callistemon Sun 09-Feb-20 14:32:56

There was also a GNHQ IT blip a while ago where messages were getting deleted randomly!

Callistemon Sun 09-Feb-20 14:31:15

Janea and trisher

I think 'message removed at poster's request' just means that someone has been tidying up their message boxes.

If you delete sent messages the recipient gets that message 'message removed at sender's request' in their inbox and the messages from that person are deleted.

I don't think the converse happens ie if you delete your inbox the sender doesn't lose theirs.

Elegran Sun 09-Feb-20 12:55:31

In the "Inbox" Esspee. On a laptop that is at the top right of the page, next to the button that says "Log Out"

I have sent you a short message - you will see it when you go to your inbox.

Esspee Sun 09-Feb-20 12:31:12

Where do you find personal messages on gransnet?

Tangerine Sun 09-Feb-20 12:30:27

No-one has ever sent me a private message unless I've sent one first.

I have almost always received a reply and they have always been nice replies.

Quizqueen - I am uncertain about whether or not I've ever sent you a private message. If so, I would have had good intentions and not meant to upset you. I think, sometimes, people just want to answer or help without airing their personal business on a public site where they could be recognised.

BlueBelle Sun 09-Feb-20 12:26:45

I always get an email when I get a private message
Thats a really ‘dry old stick’ comment quizqueen ? sending some one a supportive pm or answering a query that is best not aired on the main site is hardly intrusive but each to his own hopefully no one has sent you one then you won’t be annoyed

Elegran Sun 09-Feb-20 12:25:21

Are you never curious about the people whose posts you find chime with your own thoughts, or those who you disagree with but seem interesting personalities?

I shall always be glad that I took the plunge and met up with some Gransnetters. They have become real live friends, and so have most of tthose who have joined us at subsequent meetings (some have not reappeared - their choice. I would never have set out to make friends online, but meeting people as interesting acquaintances paved the way for genuine friendships.

Anonymous exchanges with the persona that someone wishes to project are fine, but knowing the real, whole person is much more rewarding.

quizqueen Sun 09-Feb-20 12:11:57

I have no interest in reading PMs, I find them most intrusive so never open them. This is suppose to be an anonymous site to make comments on and have a discussion. If people are looking for friends, fair enough, then gransnet should set up a separate section for interest groups, by area.

JackyB Sun 09-Feb-20 12:01:39

Thanks for the tip, Mary doll. I found the Settings section here on my phone but it wasn't on the laptop where I wrote that previous post from.

And : The box for e-mail notifications was ticked! Even if the e-mails landed in the spam box, I would have seen them. I comb carefully through my spam before deleting it because I have had important messages land in there more than once.

seacliff Sun 09-Feb-20 11:32:56

I do get an email alert. Strange system, when it works for some, and not for others.

Every now and then I just check the InBox anyway.

trisher Sun 09-Feb-20 11:29:20

Incidently I do get e-mails when they delete my posts!

trisher Sun 09-Feb-20 11:28:07

I'm poor as well Jane10! Unless of course it's a clique or a secret GN society and we don't belong!!! grin

Jane10 Sun 09-Feb-20 11:19:52

I've done the settings thing and clicked to be alerted to new emails but it doesn't happen. Doesn't go to spam, nothing. I just have to remember to check my inbox occasionally. Feeling like a poor relation!

Elegran Sun 09-Feb-20 11:04:21

If you are on a laptop, look top right for a button labelled "Inbox". I don't know about other gadgets.

I think btinternet somehow loses notification emails, they are probably in the junk folder. I don't get Facebook notifications any more either. Yet another bit of online housekeeping to learn.

trisher Sun 09-Feb-20 10:49:38

I have the e-mail box ticked for PMs but never get notified now. No idea why. I have posted about it before and GNHQ said they were looking into it, but nothing has happened. I'm pleased I'm not the only one who doesn't get told. Apologies to ayone who has had to wait for a reply.
Thanks for that idea janeainsworth I've been wondering about a couple of messages that have been wiped.

aprilrose Sun 09-Feb-20 10:19:59

Goodness me, I am guilty of this . I had not realised there was a PM system here. I didnt know how to find it. I have just looked and found a whole raft of really supportive e mails from people.

I am terribly sorry for being ignorant and not having replied sooner. By the way, I have sent personal apologies to all now. I once again apologise here.

Thank you to for the support everyone.

DillytheGardener Wed 05-Feb-20 12:54:23

I didn’t know there was an inbox, I’m going to have to figure out how to look and see if anyone has messaged me incase I’ve been inadvertently rude confused

Mapleleaf Wed 05-Feb-20 10:47:17

I ticked the email notification box to let me know when I get a PM when I registered, but no longer receive an email notification even though the box is still ticked. Also, the daily email, which I've ticked to receive is very hit and miss in arriving (though I've got it today). Odd.

Urmstongran Wed 05-Feb-20 10:08:15

??

TerryM Wed 05-Feb-20 09:48:57

Whoohoo I got an email smile

BlueSapphire Wed 05-Feb-20 09:13:56

I didn't even know I had an Inbox until someone who had messaged me posted to tell me on a thread I was on! I now get email notifications if I have a PM.

gillybob Wed 05-Feb-20 09:09:34

Well blow me down with a feather. I have been on GN since day one and have only just discovered the “inbox” thank you Marydoll I thought my way of doing things seemed very clumsy. Have now ticked the email notification . ✔️