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Whatever happened to relationships?

(93 Posts)
MawB Tue 11-Feb-20 22:00:48

Is it just me?
I am getting so sick of seeing affairs and cheating on spouses everywhere I look.
Watching “The Split” - lovely family, got it all so why is the wife having an affair at the office?
Last night’s “Cold Feet” and Pete is seriously tempted - will he hold fast or is it a hint of what is to come?
OK call me naive and I know it isn’t real life, but it does reflect the auto-destruct button so many people carry.

polnan Wed 12-Feb-20 10:05:27

when I was young.. o.k a long time ago LOL we had good stories, nice stories,,, pleasant things... kids playing outside.. nature..

my dh and I used to watch detective type films,, now he has died, I find I have no desire to watch them,, well a few...

but even those with good actors,, Vera, Endeavour,, for example have such cruel,, yes, cruel stuff in them... no wonder the knives are out , literally, with so many people..

I find I am watching documentaries... ARGH! never watched them... at least no cruelty, blood and yuck!

our writers need to get out more and write some good, heartwarming, interesting stuff... Heartbeat?

LondonMzFitz Wed 12-Feb-20 10:09:54

@Davidhs - I loathe Eastenders, watched it in the early years but the constant fighting, arguing, niggling, I walked away and felt the better for it, haven't and wouldn't watch it since. I do truly fear this is how people think life should be!

Affairs have happened since time began, but I do think there is a case to answer for the stuff we invite into our homes on the TV.

Gilly1952 Wed 12-Feb-20 10:10:29

I quite like Dr Turner in Call the Midwife!! I know he’s very craggy and wouldn’t appeal to everyone, but he has a lovely “bedside manner” - he could tuck me into bed anytime as I find him very sexy in a strange way!!

suziewoozie Wed 12-Feb-20 10:21:30

dragon what do you mean, you haven’t got a button box?? I remember my grandma’s button box and sitting watching her take buttons off clothes before they were demoted to rags. Sometimes there would be a really sparkly pretty button. My own button box is I think a homage to her and my childhood. It doesn’t get replenished so much in these days of charity shop donations but it’s a necessary part of my sewing basket. And anyway, useful for when there’s nothing on TV ?

Elegran Wed 12-Feb-20 10:21:48

I've not watched "The Split" so I know nothing about it, but the title does suggest the content!

Rosina Wed 12-Feb-20 10:24:31

East Enders has always been so far from the truth of life in the East End of London; I watched at the bginning but every episode seemed to end with a screaming row and insults, and with what my parents would have called 'very unsuitable behaviour' (!!) My upbringing was among dignified people who shared each others happiness but private matters were just that. It seems TV dramas and soaps embrace crisis after crisis to keep people watching; I don't understand this as the early Coronation Street episodes were a masterclass in observation of human nature, with excellent scriptwriters turning out believable and often witty stories. I do think TV influences - what is fed into the home becomes 'what other people do' for the impressionable.

suziewoozie Wed 12-Feb-20 10:25:22

The documentaries I watch often have terrible cruelty in them. I only watch them when I feel upto coping with them. I’ve got ones on Universal Credit waiting for my being in the right mood. OTOH I’ve loved the Canal Journeys with their bitter sweet testament to enduring love ( but I think they got together in less than ideal circumstances).

Beswitched Wed 12-Feb-20 10:29:12

I think the recent Sarah Phelps adaptations of Agatha Christie stories are a case in point.

She seems to feel honour bound to introduce affairs, sordid behaviour and destructive relationships into what were gentle and escapist stories.

Even when met with considerable criticism from the public, she and the BBC continue to write and screen these distorted versions of well loved books, unable to believe that people still actually like the values and moral tone of the originals.

Geneva2 Wed 12-Feb-20 10:31:48

Maybe try your local U3A

suziewoozie Wed 12-Feb-20 10:39:59

The BBC continues to be very successful in selling a whole range of its drama output across the world including SPs adaptations and Call the Midwife ( despite ‘boring’ or because of ‘sexy’ Dr Turner).

grannie7 Wed 12-Feb-20 10:40:32

I don’t watch Eastenders or ‘Corrie’ watched them a few times years ago but I found them so depressing.I do remember getting my GD2 to watch the episode in ‘corrie’ about 20+years ago when one of the very young daughter’s got pregnant my GD2 was 10 the programme was half way through when she turned to me and said are we watching this rubbish because you want to warn
me not to get into the same sort of trouble because we’re wasting time.I know all about this and no way am I going to be so stupid.
Thankfully she never did but I felt a twit lol

Rolypoly55 Wed 12-Feb-20 10:43:47

I am afraid its a swith off for me, it seems storyline of having affairs are termed as entertainment. I know I have been scarred, my dad had an affair and it certainly affected me badly so yes I know where you are coming from. Why have an affair, if there's something wrong with the marriage then split and divorce, I guess it's not black and white, just my opinion.

ananimous Wed 12-Feb-20 10:48:29

I think it a cowardly betrayal to "have your cake and eat it" - Prince Charles and Camilla haven't set the trend, but they helped to normalize it and made it acceptable...

Rolypoly55 Wed 12-Feb-20 10:48:49

Lol ditto. Xx

Violettham Wed 12-Feb-20 10:57:09

I agree Maw B but what really gets me is why we have to see so much sex. I am not a prude but I feel it degrades everything. I am old but still I prefer when the scenes just ended with the bedroom door closing. Married for nearly sixty years only one for me.

nanamac77 Wed 12-Feb-20 11:03:07

I don't agree that fairly normal lives cannot be portrayed in a way that engages and entertains people. Many years ago I used to watch Coronation street regularly, as it was amusing and engaging, and mostly true to real life .
Then disasters, murders and I can't remember what else were introduced and I stopped watching,

Silverlady333 Wed 12-Feb-20 11:07:27

Changing the subject a bit. I wouldn't ever want to live in Midsommer1 Never seen so many murders in one sleepy village!

MarieEliza Wed 12-Feb-20 11:14:50

Just watched the film ‘A beautiful day in the neighbourhood ‘ with Tom Hanks. It is representative of a more innocent time but is entertaining and well worth a watch. It’s message shows real difficulty in life (and in marriage) but it’s message us one of forgiveness and moving on

suziewoozie Wed 12-Feb-20 11:31:42

nanamac I so agree re Corrie. I can’t remember when it was but there was a whole episode devoted to an AA meeting which Deidre's mother ( Blanche?) gatecrashed. It was pure wonderful tummy achingly laugh out loud funny. I’m going to look for it on YouTube

icanhandthemback Wed 12-Feb-20 11:38:06

I think it is funny that anybody would think that the family in The Split have it all. The main character having the affair got more than she bargained for when she found that her seemingly wonderful husband had been seeing someone in the last series and proposition her sister. She's taken him back but she's obviously not happy with him.
If you've grown up with a fairly happy household with reasonably compatible parents, you may think these storylines are overly dramatised but I can tell you from experience that they happen in families across the country all the time and have been for centuries. The difference is, we now talk about it. I grew up with the pretence that my grandfather was my Uncle, at 8 years old telling the Nuns that my real father had died...I was on to my 2nd stepfather with a fair few Uncles in between and we were far from alone. There were alcohol problems, gambling addiction, serial adulterers, etc. From the outside they all looked respectable (even my cousins had no idea we were half cousins), holding down good jobs or having some standing in the community but behind closed doors, wow!

Stella14 Wed 12-Feb-20 11:49:16

Affairs are very common. 2/3 of marriages in the UK end in Divorce. With only 1/3 left, a good percentage of those are unhappy, but still together. So what happens in these TV dramas often does reflect real life!

Madbird37 Wed 12-Feb-20 11:58:03


I have 3 children who have been traumatised by their father's affairs and the effect it had on both sides of the family. My neighbour commented to me the week before our split that she wished her husband looked at her the way my husband looked and doted on me and the kids. Bastard should have gone to RADA best actor I've seen for years ?. Whether or not TV encourages affairs/divorce I don't know, some people just don't want to be with the same person for life. I don't watch these type of programmes, much prefer a good murder mystery or say yes to the dress

craftergran Wed 12-Feb-20 12:26:02

Emmerdale, I can barely keep up with who people are currently with.

Murders are commonplace on it too.

Beswitched Wed 12-Feb-20 12:53:55

I stopped watching the soaps years ago. I watched some of the classic corrie episodes and it reminded me why I used to love it. Real characters with dilemmas you could relate to. Now everyone's a murderer or a drug addict or in jail for something they didn't do and no one's marriage seems to last for more than 5 minutes. Depressing rubbish.

timetogo2016 Wed 12-Feb-20 12:57:47

Sadly that's the world we live in and its amazing just how many people I know have or are having an affair.
I believe what goes round comes round.