Gransnet forums


Whatever happened to relationships?

(93 Posts)
MawB Tue 11-Feb-20 22:00:48

Is it just me?
I am getting so sick of seeing affairs and cheating on spouses everywhere I look.
Watching “The Split” - lovely family, got it all so why is the wife having an affair at the office?
Last night’s “Cold Feet” and Pete is seriously tempted - will he hold fast or is it a hint of what is to come?
OK call me naive and I know it isn’t real life, but it does reflect the auto-destruct button so many people carry.

Iam64 Wed 12-Feb-20 12:59:15

In the late 80's my children said they were the only one's who couldn't talk about East Enders because I'd banned it. I decided at 8 and 9 they could probably survive but I watched with them so we could talk about it at home, as well as in the playground. It worked well, enabled me to talk with them about all kinds of 'difficult' issues.
I used to enjoy Corrie until about 8 years ago, when there was yet another 13 year old giving birth on her own. Corrie had lost its ability to juxtapose pathos, comedy, sadness etc and become just grim.
I haven't watched the current Split - but yes, far too much focus on casual sex and infidelity. Let's have more plot!

Millie22 Wed 12-Feb-20 12:59:19

Coro is nothing like it used to be. There's just one 'raising awareness' story after another. There can't be any more awful storylines we need to be told about.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 12-Feb-20 13:01:23

I've met a few TV people and while they were very nice they were what I'd call 'up in the air' - not like we ordinary down to earth types. I wonder if many of them take recreational drugs as ordinary life is not exciting enough for them and this is reflected in their choice of drama.

Camelotclub Wed 12-Feb-20 13:02:16

Very interesting what you said about media folk. Explains a lot! Including BBC left wing bias.

Calendargirl Wed 12-Feb-20 13:14:37

Yes suziewoosie, I also remember the AA episode in Corrie. Peter was the alcoholic, Ken, Deirdre (I assume) and Blanche all present giving support?! In the course of the conversation, Blanche announced to all and sundry how Ken had been having a fling with a lady on a canal boat, probably amongst other revelations. Peter buried his face in his hands saying “And you wonder why I drink!! “
It was hilarious.

threexnanny Wed 12-Feb-20 13:18:47

I watch TV to be entertained not horrified. I can get enough of that on the news. If the Turners are boring then I'm as dull as ditch water, but very happy to be so. If you haven't already guessed, I've got TWO button boxes!

suziewoozie Wed 12-Feb-20 13:24:36

Now now three there’s no need to get competitive about button boxes ( but I bet my one is bigger than your two)

Aepgirl Wed 12-Feb-20 13:25:09

It may be real life, MawBe, but it also makes it seem OK for people. Soaps and TV drama is very powerful and there are people who are totally absorbed by them.
Let’s have some Feel-good TV to balance the bad stories.

suziewoozie Wed 12-Feb-20 13:26:00

Calendar thanks for the memory jog. They really don’t write them like that any more, do they ?

CarlyD7 Wed 12-Feb-20 13:27:04

I think some people just expect more out of life these days than the routine even of a good marriage; some people aren't suited to the life they've set up (but didn't know anything better) and some just get tempted (and may regret it afterwards). Men straying was not seen as unusual in the past (if my family are anything to go by) but the wives had no option but to put up with it (in the 1960's, a woman had to leave her job as soon as she got married - so no financial independence; no wonder so many female teachers stayed as Miss). But these days, women won't put up with it - and indeed, might be doing the same! The one I know was only staying with her husband until the kids were grown up (she got pregnant accidentally, which is why they got married in the first place). She had several boyfriends under the cover of "going to nightschool" and then left him as soon as the youngest was at university. To everyone-else it looked as though they had a good marriage but she told me that being married to him "is like watching paint dry".

suziewoozie Wed 12-Feb-20 13:28:08

If I were to hazard a guess as to TV programmes causing harm, I’d put things like Love Island and others of that ilk on the list

Grandad1943 Wed 12-Feb-20 13:33:53

I believe in actual life the workplace can be the backdrop for many home relationship breakdowns. Modern-day flexible working does mean that employees often have no set times when they are expected home by their partners and that can mean good relationships built up in a work environment can have time to "develop further" outside the workplace.

By example in our own company employees can often work well beyond the expected time of finish on an evening and then go to the Pub as a group for something to eat and a drink. The forgoing has all to often brought about "developments in "personal relationships" and always, given time, problems in a home partner relationship.

Inevitably those problems find there way back to the employer as staff involved in such relationship problems very often begin to lose time or their work while they are there will be effected which becomes noticeable.

I have lost count in recent years of on how many occasions my wife, me or in more recent times one of the other partners in the business have sat through a sorry or tearful meeting with a member of staff who pours out all the problems that an "external affair" has brought to their home and working life. All employers with a sizeable number of staff see the forgoing problems on a regular basis, and it would appear to be an increasing issue.

Sadly there does not seem to be the ability in many personal relationships these days to sit down and talk through such matters even when the welfare of children can be at stake, or the prospect of employment and homes being lost is at hand. The ability to stick together through thick and thin as was the case in my parents days has been lost it would seem.

However, the above makes our modern society much more unstable I feel.

Yennifer Wed 12-Feb-20 13:33:58

I'm very fortunate I think, I don't know anyone who hasn't been cheated on, but very few who admit to doing it lol x

Keeper1 Wed 12-Feb-20 13:44:20

I am not sure how much an unmarried sixteen year old on Eastenders has contributed in the rise of unmarried single mothers.

What I do remember having a great influence towards the mid to late seventies was that unmarried mothers got allocated a council property. Well it certainly did in the East End of London where I grew up and I know from first hand experience of it happening.

craftergran Wed 12-Feb-20 14:01:10

Not sure it was the influence of tv which caused me to leave my first husband when my youngest was 17. Neither was it another man. It did have rather a lot to do with his unreasonable behaviour though and rather a lot to do with me being fed up with it.

No affair on my side and no affair (as far I know) on my first husband's side.

MawB Wed 12-Feb-20 15:56:50

Maybe try your local U3A

Geneva - how patronising hmm

MawB Wed 12-Feb-20 16:00:15

* ananimous* Wed 12-Feb-20 10:48:29
I think it a cowardly betrayal to "have your cake and eat it" - Prince Charles and Camilla haven't set the trend, but they helped to normalize it and made it acceptable

I think “having your cake and eating it” predates Charles and Camilla by several generations, if not centuries!

endlessstrife Wed 12-Feb-20 16:52:04

Be honest, no one would watch these dramas and soaps if everyone behaved properly, they’ be so boring!

Fiachna50 Wed 12-Feb-20 17:02:23

Cor St and Eastenders have got very like each other over the years. I stopped watching along time ago. I used to love Cor St, but not anymore. I do enjoy River City, but don't know if you get this in England or other countries. It has its fair share of ridiculous storylines, but also portrays a sense of community. There is great humour at times too.

sodapop Wed 12-Feb-20 17:15:42

Yes I agree suziewoozie I think those awful so called reality shows have far more potential for harm than the soaps.

SueDonim Wed 12-Feb-20 17:22:22

If we’re talking about unmarried teenage mothers, the teenage pregnancy rate is at its lowest since records began. I’m not sure if that is because of or in spite of TV soaps.

suziewoozie Wed 12-Feb-20 17:49:43

I read somewhere that they were all too busy on their iPhones and Tablets to be having sex

Grandmama Wed 12-Feb-20 18:07:20

I used to be a Corrie fan but stopped watching it many years ago. Unpleasant, amoral and immoral story lines, not what I wanted to have thrust on me or beamed into our house.

SueDonim Wed 12-Feb-20 18:11:29

So that’s what they mean by safe sex, Suziewoozie! grin

Callistemon Wed 12-Feb-20 18:43:51

I started to watch the split but confess that I was very bored and turned it off.

If she doesn't want Stephen Mangan, I 'm happy to take him on. As we're both married would that be an affair?