Gransnet forums


Holding back of child’s head

(33 Posts)
manny Wed 11-Mar-20 16:57:15

Can I have some of your thoughts please?
Do you think it’s appropriate for any adult who’s not the child’s parent, to grasp the nape of a seven year old’s neck, while staring her in the eye and hissing at her - angrily?
Done because she forgot to close the door.

Grannyjay Wed 11-Mar-20 16:59:30

If I had witnessed that I think I would have had to intervene. That is not acceptable.

gillybob Wed 11-Mar-20 16:59:49

I don’t think it’s appropriate for any adult (parent or not) to do this to a child . It reminds me of what some teachers in primary school back in the 60’s/70’s might have done .

grannysue05 Wed 11-Mar-20 17:00:39

It sounds like a very aggresive action so I would say that it is definately inappropriate.

M0nica Wed 11-Mar-20 17:01:15

Unacceptable, by anyone to anyone, especially a child.

phoenix Wed 11-Mar-20 17:02:08

Sounds OTT to me, whether the parent or not!

manny Wed 11-Mar-20 17:06:34

Thanks, all for the replies. I thought it was completely inappropriate. Shocked - and shocking! Agree that a parent would be out of order too. The perpetrator thought it was absolutely fine - in no way threatening.

vampirequeen Wed 11-Mar-20 17:11:02

Get someone big to grab him/her by the back of the neck, stare into their eyes and hiss at them angrily. Then they'll understand what it feels like to be threatened.

Riverwalk Wed 11-Mar-20 17:13:20

The perpetrator

Would that be your husband manny?

BlueBelle Wed 11-Mar-20 17:28:34

Of course it’s not on for anyone to do neither stranger relative or parent
Was the hissing you refer to your way of saying telling off or do you really mean hissing like a goose I d wonder if the adult was actually mentally well !!!

manny Wed 11-Mar-20 17:45:41

Face really close to the child’s and speaking threateningly. Maybe almost spitting (yuk) is what I meant. Sorry - not explaining this very well

GrannyLaine Wed 11-Mar-20 18:03:39

manny, I think you would have been surprised if anyone had said it was okay? I describes an adult who has totally lost control. A horrible experience for the child concerned and never, ever okay.

tickingbird Wed 11-Mar-20 18:07:37

No you’re not being unreasonable. Totally inappropriate and way over the top. It’s bullying, plain and simple and whoever did it needs to stop.

phoenix Wed 11-Mar-20 18:21:01

Was it a man? Does he ever leave the toilet seat up? Grab him by the scruff of the neck, stare into his face and hiss at him, see how he likes it. Then shove his head down the toilet and flush it. Repeat until lesson is learned.

Forgive rant ^^, may appear flippant, but I was just trying to make a point.

eazybee Wed 11-Mar-20 18:35:15

Would it be a teacher?

Callistemon Wed 11-Mar-20 19:03:46

No. Absolutey not.

I would slam the door on his fingers.

Greymar Wed 11-Mar-20 19:07:13


Manmar2 Wed 11-Mar-20 19:09:24

Definitely not!

Buffybee Wed 11-Mar-20 19:11:43

How strange that the majority of posters are assuming that this is a man.
I have a feeling it is too!
Nasty and threatening, whoever this is needs telling off, in no uncertain terms.

Hetty58 Wed 11-Mar-20 19:21:08

More details? Man or woman, relationship to child?

Callistemon Wed 11-Mar-20 19:23:01

Or her fingers, sorry.

manny Wed 11-Mar-20 19:34:15

It was a man. Opinions here are very clear. There was a bit of gaslighting going on here i.e “it wasn’t meant malevolently “ A complete inability to accept that it was inappropriate- I was being melodramatic/hysterical.

Chewbacca Wed 11-Mar-20 19:37:09

The only one being hysterical in that situation was the man who grabbed a 7 year old child by the back of her neck and hissed at her. Have you told the child's parents yet?

manny Wed 11-Mar-20 20:19:58

I’ve only just discovered that it happened. My daughter was present. It wasn’t her child. She kept it from me until recently to spare my feelings. However, she stated her own feelings fairly vocally, I’m happy to say.

EllanVannin Wed 11-Mar-20 20:29:05

I'd knee him where it hurts too ! Horrible individual.