Gransnet forums


Holding back of child’s head

(34 Posts)
manny Wed 11-Mar-20 16:57:15

Can I have some of your thoughts please?
Do you think it’s appropriate for any adult who’s not the child’s parent, to grasp the nape of a seven year old’s neck, while staring her in the eye and hissing at her - angrily?
Done because she forgot to close the door.

TrendyNannie6 Sun 15-Mar-20 11:12:51

It’s aggressive behaviour, and I would be telling the child’s parents, and be having a word with the person that inflicted this on a young child,

maddyone Wed 11-Mar-20 23:21:44

Definitely not acceptable.

Chewbacca Wed 11-Mar-20 22:56:24

No manny, you're definitely not the crazy one here. I hope, in time, that things work out for the best.

Chewbacca Wed 11-Mar-20 20:51:45

If it wasn't your OH, manny, then I apologise for assuming it might have been.

manny Wed 11-Mar-20 20:50:23

I wanted to find out what the response from gransnetters - a sensible lot- was. I was starting to believe I was the crazy one here!

Chewbacca Wed 11-Mar-20 20:50:23

I tend to agree sodapop. Has the parent of the child been informed of what happened? If not, will manny tell them? Is the child a relative of yours and, if so, what are you going to do to ensure this kind of behaviour never happens again? You have to protect her from the abusive adult. Personally, if this was my OH that was the abuser of one if my GC, I'd make sure he never came into contact on his own with her again.

sodapop Wed 11-Mar-20 20:44:00

Not sure where you are going with this manny If the child was not related to you was the man? It's so obviously inappropriate.

Hetty58 Wed 11-Mar-20 20:33:06

Me too!

EllanVannin Wed 11-Mar-20 20:29:05

I'd knee him where it hurts too ! Horrible individual.

manny Wed 11-Mar-20 20:19:58

I’ve only just discovered that it happened. My daughter was present. It wasn’t her child. She kept it from me until recently to spare my feelings. However, she stated her own feelings fairly vocally, I’m happy to say.

Chewbacca Wed 11-Mar-20 19:37:09

The only one being hysterical in that situation was the man who grabbed a 7 year old child by the back of her neck and hissed at her. Have you told the child's parents yet?

manny Wed 11-Mar-20 19:34:15

It was a man. Opinions here are very clear. There was a bit of gaslighting going on here i.e “it wasn’t meant malevolently “ A complete inability to accept that it was inappropriate- I was being melodramatic/hysterical.

Callistemon Wed 11-Mar-20 19:23:01

Or her fingers, sorry.

Hetty58 Wed 11-Mar-20 19:21:08

More details? Man or woman, relationship to child?

Buffybee Wed 11-Mar-20 19:11:43

How strange that the majority of posters are assuming that this is a man.
I have a feeling it is too!
Nasty and threatening, whoever this is needs telling off, in no uncertain terms.

Manmar2 Wed 11-Mar-20 19:09:24

Definitely not!

Greymar Wed 11-Mar-20 19:07:13


Callistemon Wed 11-Mar-20 19:03:46

No. Absolutey not.

I would slam the door on his fingers.

eazybee Wed 11-Mar-20 18:35:15

Would it be a teacher?

phoenix Wed 11-Mar-20 18:21:01

Was it a man? Does he ever leave the toilet seat up? Grab him by the scruff of the neck, stare into his face and hiss at him, see how he likes it. Then shove his head down the toilet and flush it. Repeat until lesson is learned.

Forgive rant ^^, may appear flippant, but I was just trying to make a point.

tickingbird Wed 11-Mar-20 18:07:37

No you’re not being unreasonable. Totally inappropriate and way over the top. It’s bullying, plain and simple and whoever did it needs to stop.

GrannyLaine Wed 11-Mar-20 18:03:39

manny, I think you would have been surprised if anyone had said it was okay? I describes an adult who has totally lost control. A horrible experience for the child concerned and never, ever okay.

manny Wed 11-Mar-20 17:45:41

Face really close to the child’s and speaking threateningly. Maybe almost spitting (yuk) is what I meant. Sorry - not explaining this very well

BlueBelle Wed 11-Mar-20 17:28:34

Of course it’s not on for anyone to do neither stranger relative or parent
Was the hissing you refer to your way of saying telling off or do you really mean hissing like a goose I d wonder if the adult was actually mentally well !!!

Riverwalk Wed 11-Mar-20 17:13:20

The perpetrator

Would that be your husband manny?