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AIBU

AIBU

(102 Posts)
Boats Sat 18-Apr-20 19:05:17

I totally agree with Monica, Susan56, Quercus, Chewbacca and others who write in a similar vein. If the neighbour's actions are not directly harming you then leave them to it.
What sort of a society have we become that we are driven to pry and spy on our neighbours and other people? Their actions will sadly come home to them without your "help".
Who would you report them to? The Police?
Just take a look at the video of an officer in the Lancs. Police Force and ask yourself if this is what you want.
Far more worrying to me is the lack of social distancing in shops and supermarkets. Yesterday, when out shopping for my neighbours in my local supermarket, one young woman with 2 kids in tow thought it quite ok to lean almost on top of me to reach for something on the shelf above me! What could I do about that? Nothing, except remind her very loudly to keep her distance. Her response...a silly grin. Now that sort of idiocy is certain to cause the spread of this dreadful virus, more so, probably than your neighbours visiting their family members and yes, you don't know the circumstances behind those visits. So please, let's get a bit of common sense here. Bluenose, if your neighbour's visitors haven't jumped in your garden or invaded your house you probably aren't likely to be at much risk of catching this virus. I wish I could say the same for myself after yesterday's incident!

M0nica Sun 19-Apr-20 09:21:20

Where I am there are a constant stream of walkers along the footpath in front of the house, all meticulously obeying the rules and greeting others they see as they pass. I have had several long conversations with other villagers, who I had previously never spoken to.

No ambulances or police cars, fewer trains, no helicopters, school opposite closed and even when the wind is in the right direction, little noise from the bypass dual carriage. It is lovely.

Hetty58 Sun 19-Apr-20 09:24:17

The grandchildren are adults. How will they feel, later on, when they realise that they 'accidentally' killed granddad? I don't understand why the government advice isn't clear about transmission. The virus is highly infectious. People are most infectious 15 hours before they have any symptoms!

Hetty58 Sun 19-Apr-20 09:28:43

Here, there is little traffic. An occasional plane - instead of several circling above - and always a helicopter.

Yes, it's very nice to clearly hear all the birds singing. At night, walking the dog around the garden, it's so quiet that I keep thinking that there should be snow.

BBkay Sun 19-Apr-20 09:29:30

Just waiting for some idiot to report me
I still have my grandchildren to stay while their parents are working. Yes they have a place a school but who else is going to look after them at 6am, 10pm or the weekends? "
Both parents are key workers same occupation but different jobs unable to work alternative shifts. I am 64 as far as I know healthy so I will stand my ground

GrannyAnnie2010 Sun 19-Apr-20 09:33:54

The longer that the rules on social distancing are broken, the longer it will be before we are all 'let out' again. This is usually the concern when considering reporting errant neighbours. Staying at home is something that we can all do, so why doesn't everyone do it? I think it's because they feel invincible, that they won't succumb to the virus, even though the advice of the NHS whom they smugly clap on Thursdays have clearly asked them all to stay at home.

If someone reports a wrongdoing, they are branded a "snitch". Wow - what kind of a socitey is that!

stormy54 Sun 19-Apr-20 09:36:47

At risk of a flaming.......I hate having to hear peoples "music" when I am in the garden.
Use headphones, don't leave the patio doors open and the music blaring.

Callistemon Sun 19-Apr-20 09:41:23

Is it just me who is confused?

Reading the OP is like wandering in in the middle of a conversation.

I get the gist now, but who is Bluenose? What has he or she done? And what did Monica, Susan56, Quercus, Chewbacca and others say? And what about?
Have I lost the thread?

Where's Miss Marple in all this?

confused

Aepgirl Sun 19-Apr-20 09:41:56

This is just what I have found, annesixty. Everybody queues outside, well behaved, but once they are inside the shop it’s as if they think they are safe from infection. I was standing back whilst a lady took some eggs from the shelf when a man went in front of me. I told him we were queuing and he just pulled a face at me.

MBM Sun 19-Apr-20 09:44:00

I don’t condone spying , but my husband is a hospital chaplain my son in law a doctor, both on the front line .
My S I L does 13 hour shifts my husband is on call 24 /7 the medical profession in hospitals are almost dying on their feet trying to keep on top of this.
It makes me so angry people flouting the rules , wether it be family or not they should NOT go into each other’s houses. If they could actually see what this virus does they wouldn’t be so quick to flout the rules. But then again they will probably be the first in the queue demanding treatment .
Please Please don’t be so complacent no one is immune to this

Janetashbolt Sun 19-Apr-20 09:45:44

Sorry, if these nutters get CV19 they will take up an NHS bed and resources, it affects us all.

M0nica Sun 19-Apr-20 09:50:29

Hetty My comments are about the probability of someone coming into contact with someone with the virus, not its catchability. That probability will vary from very low in rural areas and many suburbs to exceptionally high in care homes.

Speaking to friends, family and neighbours, only one, who is a city dweller knows anyone who has had the disease, let alone died from it. Even in the suburbs of a city, it was a parent of a friend of a child, the family were secluded for a fortnight, but despite the two children, both aged 9, being physically very close for two days, there was no transmission to that child or his family, nor did the friend whose father had the illness pick it up either. The disease is really very rare in children.

If every adult who as a child inadvertently passed on an infection to a grandparent or other vulnerable person was to spend their adult live punishing themselves, then most of the population would be in that situation and no caring parent would ever allow any contact between a child and grandparent over 70.

As I said it is the perception of relative risk. that I think is eluding people, not infectability. Nor am I other than supportive of the shutdown.

polnan Sun 19-Apr-20 09:51:27

,,,looking at the comments here,, and having read the thread about how to come out of lockdown..

good grief,, if so many people haven`t learned how to behave in lockdown, how are they going to behave when it is relaxed??

deep sighs

Nannapat1 Sun 19-Apr-20 09:54:05

Totally agree with DoodleDog's comments.

NfkDumpling Sun 19-Apr-20 09:56:26

I’m concerned about that too Polnan. I fear as soon as we’re told it’s ok to go a bit further for exercise or maybe take a picnic, the hoards will be heading to the beach/Lakes/Dales.

Already, the police having said it’s ok to stop for a breather or a drink and a sandwich, some were saying it was ok to lunch out and sit all afternoon in the park.

M0nica Sun 19-Apr-20 10:05:03

Butwhat is the probability they will? For some it will be very likely, for others it will be highly unlikely.

If two families have been in seclusion for two weeks and then meet, the chances are that they are probably more likely to be hit by a falling tree, and end up in hospital that way than pass the virus to each other. The risk is minimal.

If a group of men in their 40s, all married with children, meet up regularly in a city park, drinking and indulging in horse play, then go home, the risk of passing the virus on is very high and their behaviour is reckless and selfish.

It is the capacity to see the difference that so many people cannot understand.

Anyway, I am off for a walk. I may touch a few stiles, but I will wash my hands as soon as I get home, and I am not worried about picking the virus up during that walk. The probability is very low. more likely to be bitten by an uncontrolled dog (that has already happened once)

Northernandproud Sun 19-Apr-20 10:06:26

As ive said on another thread our neighbours who never bother or speak to anyone else and hold themselves very aloof, snitched on us as they saw my husband going out every day for around 3 hours the police had this info when they knocked, what the nosy ( please insert your own rude word if you wish) didn't know is Mr Northern is travelling to a hospital in the next town ever day for cancer treatment, the police woman was told this and i asked her to inform the people as to his perfectly valid reason, and i watched from the window as the police woman walked over and knocked on the door and talked to them
All those saying snitching is your civic duty please think you might be making a horrendous situation for someone even worse

jenpax Sun 19-Apr-20 10:22:34

Northernandproud Oh that’s horrid!

Maccyt1955 Sun 19-Apr-20 10:22:42

According to the Guardian, the police are getting thousands of complaints from spying neighbours daily.
They think that a lot of these complaints are not genuine...they are people settling old scores or long standing feuds.
How pathetic.
But I agree....if a lot of neighbours in the same street band together to complain about an anti social than that is only right.

Maccyt1955 Sun 19-Apr-20 10:23:22

Anti social neighbour!

GlamGran59 Sun 19-Apr-20 10:25:56

So many judgemental folk.

Xrgran Sun 19-Apr-20 10:27:57

I’ve been to the supermarket at 8pm and recommend this as there isn’t a queue at this time.

Not seen any bad behaviour only some people don’t follow the arrows so a little more policing would help here!

red1 Sun 19-Apr-20 10:30:21

i totally agree with social distancing,the big trouble is post virus, the government knows how easy it is to control the masses in our present day,Our freedoms, fear of our neighbour will not be easily restored,unless there is some form of social unrest ,where the sensible realise what really matters is not how much we store, but how we serve each other. Am i hopeful for this to come about? sadly no sad

hicaz46 Sun 19-Apr-20 10:41:42

Have just read on sky news online that the elderly and vulnerable may be in semi lockdown until next Autumn as a vaccine may not be available until then! Does that mean we cannot see grandkids until then?

GrannyAnnie2010 Sun 19-Apr-20 10:45:48

We are in a period of crisis. This pandemic means that we are in a crisis situation. This is not the time to wander around your moral high ground, using inflammatory terminology like “spy” and “snitch”.

I have some friends and family members who have been self-isolating in their flats – not houses with gardens – since 15th March, as advised by their GPs. That’s six weeks now, without being able to go outdoors. Then, instead of everyone else following the rules that they are forced to stick to, the numpties down the street are literally partying in their gardens with their visitors. Even if, just for support and solidarity’s sake, all of us stayed at home in our gardens without having visitors join them, it would be a good thing.

Reporting neighbours who break the distancing rules is not the same as reporting them for dropping litter on the street. I reiterate – this is not a normal situation, this is a crisis situation. NO-ONE should be visiting for barbecues in someone else’s garden. Those who report them are not to be vilified.

NorthernandProud, this is not about someone who goes out - you don't seem to get it. This is about groups visiting for parties and barbecues. Different situation.

icanhandthemback Sun 19-Apr-20 10:49:23

Hear, hear, Doodledog. I have one of those "dreadful" crossbreeds; I think it is what keeps me sane. grin