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AIBU

Giving GC a hug

(76 Posts)
Bossyrossy Wed 29-Apr-20 11:12:39

The Swiss have decided that it is safe for grandparents to give their GC under 10 a hug as little kids aren’t receptors of the virus. AIBU to hope that we too might be able to do this soon?

Maggiemaybe Thu 30-Apr-20 13:28:36

My baby is three weeks old and no one other than me, his dad and siblings have cuddled him. It’s really quite sad that I have this amazing tiny person and yet I feel as though he’s unloved as no family or friends have seen him or cuddled him.

Merryweather (love the name!), don't even think like that! shock My DGS5 is 3 weeks old too, and just like the other four gorgeous boys, who up until recently I've seen every few days of their lives, he's loved more than I could ever say. I've been lucky enough to see him in the flesh, from two metres away of course, and longed to hold him, but he's already a big part of our family and we'll soon catch up when this is all over. Be kind to yourself - this is so difficult for everyone, but I feel as if new mums have it that bit harder than most.

Hithere Thu 30-Apr-20 13:30:32

That rule makes no sense. At.All.

Bossyrossy Thu 30-Apr-20 13:39:12

I should have said “I would be safer” as we do not meet up but would like to.

Peardrop50 Thu 30-Apr-20 14:02:50

Better safe than sorry, for them as well as us. Sharing love with children is about so much more than physical hugs. Lots of giggles and silly games on social media, positive and upbeat vibes and best of all taking the time to listen to everything they say and showing an interest. Best they and us are still there for big re-union hugs when we have a vaccine to protect us all.

glammagran Thu 30-Apr-20 14:28:49

I saw my DGD aged 20 months last week for the first time in nearly 7 weeks when I dropped off online groceries to DD. We had a chat through the glass patio doors and she obviously hadn’t forgotten me. It didn’t upset her at all but once I’d left I was in bits. I miss her more than anything else.

Missgran Thu 30-Apr-20 14:38:51

I have been tempted to hug my dgs can’t hug dgd as she is over 10 but hope that comes in soon we see them when we walk Past their house

Coco51 Thu 30-Apr-20 14:48:30

I saw this last night - how wonderful that would be. I have been wondering if DD’s family have all been isolated for four weeks, and I am into my 7th week of being shielded would there be a problem with having DGD to stay?

Jane10 Thu 30-Apr-20 14:51:48

Cabbie21- re your point. I have been out more than my DGS and then it was only once a week doing a very careful shop after which I have a shower and all clothes washed. All the groceries are wiped down with antibacterial wipes. My DGS has been at home all the time since lockdown. I think he was more at risk from me than the other way round. It was great. We're both OK.
Goodness knows how I'd feel if he'd been at school though.

Linda369 Thu 30-Apr-20 15:13:27

The trouble is if everyone has a little cuddle of their grandchildren the virus could carry on spreading. There are no symptoms for about 2 weeks, how do you know you don’t have it? Sorry I would like to cuddle my grandchildren but those who are holding parties, cuddling grandchildren or in any other way breaking social distancing make this even further in the future. Please just stop.

maddyone Thu 30-Apr-20 16:11:33

People need to realise that lockdown and social distancing is there to protect us all. No one knows who might be carrying this disease. There shouldn’t be exceptions because one exception leads to another and so on. Please think about the key workers and medical staff, because the longer this goes on spreading, the more their lives are put at risk. It’s not just not having enough PPE that’s causing medics to become ill, it’s the spread of the disease! Many medics have children who deserve to still have two parents at the end of this. Stop the spread, follow the rules!

GreenGran78 Thu 30-Apr-20 16:46:14

My daughter, in Perth Australia, has told me that there have been so few cv cases that they are going to relax the quarantine rules. Groups of up to 10 people are going to be allowed to meet up. I’m a bit nervous about this, but pleased for the children, especially. I just wish that I could be included!
It’s very hard when my 3 year old GD keeps asking when I am going to their house again. Thank heavens for the internet.
I enjoyed the little concert she performed for me yesterday. Lots of twirling, and toe-pointing, accompanied by a selection of rather garbled songs from Frozen. She is looking forward to the imminent arrival of her baby cousin. She informed me that HE is also her sister, and that she also has another sister in her tummy! 🤪🙃. Confused.com!

Bathsheba Thu 30-Apr-20 16:54:48

For me it's not a case of whether we're allowed to hug the under 10s - it's a case of whether I trust the judgement of those giving the permission. And right now I honestly don't trust the judgement of whoever in Switzerland has said this is OK.

I would, of course, give anything to be able to hug my grandchildren - and my adult children for that matter! But until there is very good scientific data to show that this is safe, I will, sadly, be keeping my distance.

Jane10 I so understand how your heart ruled your head and you hugged your GS. I'm just a tiny bit jealous....

ValerieF Thu 30-Apr-20 18:34:57

Why don't people just weigh up the risks themselves? If you have been in isolation for 4 weeks or more, chances are there is no virus there. If your child and grandchildren have also been in isolation for same period, minimal chance! Weigh it up with how many in area which in our case are 0.03% then the chances of a a child hugging a grandchild passing on a virus is virtually nil! Not condemning people who feel differently but to me it is all about common sense! I will certainly abide by any rules but will also open my mind to using common sense. I have also hugged a grandchild I met in a communal area.

Serendipity22 Thu 30-Apr-20 21:59:13

I'm reading these posts about hugs...... ohhhhhtoday my DD came with 3 of my GC, the youngest 1 who is 2 and half was wanting to come to me ( I am very huggy and kissy ) but her mum and myself were distracting her to run around the garden ( I was sat at a distance) .

I said to my DD that it wasn't right, that despite the fact it was sooooo wonderful to see them running round the garden, it was at the expense of having to stop what is natural.......it isnt fair whatsoever on the poor little 1s, they dont understand and when my DD drove away, I'm stood waving while tears rolled down my face.....

I'm going to stick to whatappping them and do my usual singing to them hahahaha...... they love it ( or so I am lead to believe hahahaha )

smile

Serendipity22 Thu 30-Apr-20 22:06:20

Yes Peardrops50 I agree....it is far more than hugs and kisses.
I told that to my 12 yr old GD .... she knows she can talk to me,share problems, great or small .... yes am a huge huggy kissy grandma but as much as I believe those are important, I also believe that having a listening ear is equally important .... smile

maddyone Thu 30-Apr-20 22:37:34

Serendipity flowers you did the right thing, I know exactly what you mean. It was so hard to stay two metres away when my daughter and her three little ones brought my birthday cards and gifts. The children remained in the car, strapped in, so they couldn’t run to us. It’s very difficult isn’t it?

Soxo Thu 30-Apr-20 22:48:27

My granddaughters are 170 miles away, we FaceTime and the 2 year old hugs and kisses the phone. It’s lovely

Narnia Sat 02-May-20 10:33:27

I posted numerous times, I think lots of you are missing the fact the SCHOOLS ARE OPEN! Do you think that the children there are not hugged and comforted if they cry?Nappies not changed? Noses wiped?
Well they are! And these staff have their own families and Grandchildren.
So for the ones saying hugging grandchildren is spreading the virus, explain that one to me as I'm one of the ones caring for keyworker and vulnerable children but am not "allowed" to hold my own 1st GS!
Seems to me its fine when I'm at work "fighting for the cause" but as soon as I leave those school gates it's back to confirming!

notanan2 Sat 02-May-20 12:38:13

Nobody ever said that schools opening wasnt risking spread of the virus.

Its riskVsbenefit
I.e. the risk to the public of schools not being open in terms of essential worker absence is deemed worth the risk of schools opening.

Theyre not there because they WANT to be there and lots of kids who miss school are home

Want Vs need

Schools need to be open
You want to hug GC

maddyone Sat 02-May-20 13:26:39

notanan2
Absolutely correct.

Narnia
The problem is that you could unwittingly pass on the virus to your beloved first grandson or to his parents as you are a key worker. Key workers are at increased risk of contracting the virus.
At this time greater love is shown by not physically embracing our loved ones, not by giving in to the temptation.
I’m really sorry for you, I understand that it feels like double standards to you, but just think of the fact that you’re not putting your loved ones into increased danger.

Hithere Sat 02-May-20 13:31:49

Notanan nailed it

Narnia Sat 02-May-20 21:10:00

It doesn't feel like "double standards" that's exactly what it is. Totally illogical (agreed by my local MP)
So I could just isolate myself as my Daughter had done by choice then go to see them, little risk of virus.
But then I'd be "letting the side down" by not working.
And I take every precaution in life outside work and I'm way under the "vulnerable" age group. The government seem to think that grandparents are 70+

maddyone Sun 03-May-20 00:22:08

Narnia I’m sorry you feel that way, but it really isn’t double standards. If you are working with the children of key workers, surely you understand that you, also as a key worker, are more likely to be exposed to the virus. Hopefully not, but there is increased risk. You could therefore unwittingly pass the virus to your daughter and/or grandchild. You could be one of those who have no symptoms, or you could be infected but not yet showing symptoms. That is why there are these rules, to cut the rate and speed of infections. We are all suffering by not being allowed to cuddle our children and grandchildren. You are not suffering alone, we are all in the same boat.

maddyone Sun 03-May-20 00:24:22

Notanan is not being unkind, she’s simply laying it on the line, simply and to the point. She is right.

Narnia Sun 03-May-20 09:09:19

So let's look at it another way, the majority of children I care for are from "vunerable" groups. Since lockdown the police have been called on numerous occasions to the area where I work because of large gatherings, bbqs etc. Currently right across from where I work there is a large bouncy castle set up in the street for ALL the children to play on, some of which come into our setting!
So I do feel a tad pigged off yes!