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Consideration from GP

(145 Posts)
Luckygirl Wed 29-Apr-20 23:05:19

I have had a bit of a problem with my GP this week. I am due a hospital treatment, and am being urged by the specialist nurse there to come in for it, but there are additional complications that might make that inadvisable, apart from the risk of catching the virus. I was advised to talk to my GP, whom I have known a long time.

I had a problem making a phone appointment as the receptionist had refused to do so, and I was in tears by the time I put the phone down. I rang the next day and spoke to a different receptionist who made the appointment.

I had the phone appointment with her yesterday and she was frankly offhand almost to the point of rudeness. She said "You will just have to make up your own mind" - which was not at all helpful as there are a number of medical issues that need weighing up that I do not feel qualified to do. And there were long silences during the call when I did not know whether she was waiting for me to say something or she was writing on the keyboard.

In addition, since my OH died in February she has not said a thing - e.g. I am sorry to hear that Mr Lucky died; how are you coping?; is there anything we can do to help? etc. She knows I have a history of depression with on-going treatment.

I found it very upsetting and was quite weepy yesterday as a result - I have tried to tell myself that she is probably under stress at the moment and I should be tolerant. But I do think that next time I need an appointment I will make it with someone else.

I also realise that I am probably feeling very sensitive at the moment as I have a lot to deal with emotionally. I do feel quite let down. I still do not know what to do about the treatment.

Theowlandthepussycat1 Fri 01-May-20 17:32:30

You are lucky your procedure has not been cancelled! Do you need it or not? You can ask questions at the hospital, Believe me, the specialist nurse will know far, far more than your GP. GP's are the Gate Keepers to specialist treatment. Luck you, you have a ticket. It's very much up to you.

Luckygirl Fri 01-May-20 17:35:00

I do appreciate that GPs are under stress and will not make a complaint. I will just not book with that person again, even if it means a longer wait.

One of the reasons that I am so sensitive about the issue of risking fractures is that it was a fall and subsequent hip fracture that caused my OH's sudden and unstoppable decline. He lasted a year before he died. A year of misery. I have already had several fractures and need to make the right decision about this. My DDs would be wholly frantic with worry if I fell and broke something - they cannot go through it all again - it is too raw at present.

Proffads - I am sorry that you are having these difficult decisions to make. I hope you can find the right way through this and get the right advice.

Cygnet Fri 01-May-20 18:40:40

Luckygirl can I suggest that ring the osteoporosis society free helpline? You can speak to a specialist nurse who will give you much more knowledgeable advice than a GP.

I have been on denosumab ( Prolia ) injections for five years following a fractured vertebrae and I wonder if that is the treatment proposed for you? If you google ‘ROS denosumab and Covid 19 ‘there is some useful information and the helpline number.

I know that it’s not a good idea to stop treatment once started because there can be a swift deterioration in the bones, so I suspect it would be better to have your root canal work done first.

I’m so sorry for your recent loss.It must be so much harder to make decisions.

clementine Fri 01-May-20 20:02:20

GP's have never been quieter, ditto hospitals nor have they ever been as clean or as safe. If you need to go , now is the tie to do it. The social distancing and degree of hygiene is second to none ( at least in my local one)

I am sorry you found your GP less than helpful, I hope whatever decision you have to make will ultimately be the right one for you .

maddyone Fri 01-May-20 20:24:49

GPs have never been quieter! And how have you worked that out? Have you sat in a surgery and counted how many consultations, phone appointments and video appointments each GP does? As if anyone actually knows what any GP is doing! This ignorance is really making me cross. And it is ignorance.
We have seen film of hospital A and E departments with few patients. I’m afraid that simply makes me think that many, many people make unnecessary visits to A and E. I understand that people are staying away from fear, but if they are having a real emergency such as a suspected heart attack or stroke, then they must go to A and E and access appropriate treatment. Also many wards are vacant as staff have been deployed to Covid19 wards, so there is capacity but no medics. Hopefully this situation will begin to return to normal very soon.
It would help enormously if people didn’t make up their own agenda ie GPs aren’t busy or GPs have never been quieter. It’s no wonder my daughter has often told me that many members of the public don’t like GPs, think they’re overpaid, and don’t do much work! All I can say is that those people are completely ignorant.

Candelle Fri 01-May-20 20:42:24

I make no bones about admitting that I am the mother of a GP so of course agree with maddyone: there is much ignorance about the work that GP's undertake.

Perhaps this ignorance is forgivable as most GP's do not shout about their workload to the general public - they just work 13 hour days - day after day without complaint.

If a GP's salary were to be averaged out it would probably be less than the minimum wage.

Please try to understand that these people are the backbone of the NHS, that they now undertake much of the work that used to be done in local hospitals and that it is purely their goodwill that keeps this part of the NHS going.

The above is known in medical circles which is why there is an acute dearth of young medics entering this part of the profession.

When I read of people suggesting 'go and complain' because the GP was not all smiley (would you be smiley if you had just told a mother her child was terminally ill) etc., etc.

Please, have some compassion for these people who work their socks off for you.

Having written the above, yes, there are, as in any field, bound to be good and bad doctors. If you are dissatisfied with your treatment, there are channels for you to go through, beginning with the Practice Manager.

Luckygirl, I can understand that you have a big decision to make, so why not make another appointment with a different doctor at your practice. Perhaps a telephone consultation would be best for you - the doctor will have all the relevant information in your notes and you can explain your conundrum and talk it through.

Everyone, please think of your GP as people who work long days for little pay and many do so for the love of their patients - the only thing that keeps them coming in to work. To shout 'complain!' at the first opportunity is doing us all a disservice.

Iam64 Fri 01-May-20 21:59:20

A word of support for GPS from me. It shouldn’t surprise anyone reading many of the comments here, that general practice is no longer a first choice for many young doctors. Candelle and maddyone are right when they talk about days of twelve hours and more. It isn’t just the long hours, it’s the increasing demands.
Of course public servants must be accountable but increasing beaurocracy is stifling good doctors (teachers, nurses etc)
We are living in an increasingly complaint, litigations dominated world. So many people seem to be permanently outraged if their expectations aren’t met instantly. Luckygirl I stress I’m not Aiming any of these comments your way.

clementine Fri 01-May-20 22:15:30

Maddyone" I would know that" having three GP's in the family, and hearing that their day to day practice has changed beyond recognition . Yes prior to this they all worked extremely long hours, one from 8 in the morning to 7:30 in evening and going in at weekends to do his admin. Another currently working part time in normal practice and part time in Covid Centre so yes I do know what I am talking about. I was in healthcare for almost 50 years myself .

Re working long hours for little pay, compared to carers I think they are substantially well paid.

Luckygirl Fri 01-May-20 22:18:41

I am the wife of a retired GP, now sadly deceased. I have no grumbles for GPs, as I understand their stresses; but sometimes they get it wrong, as in this instance.

Cygnet - thank you for your helpful suggestion about the ROS. My decision would ideally be to have the root canal work first - but of course I now cannot do that because the dentist is closed (except for emergencies). So it is very likely that the injection will have to wait a long time if I am to have the dental treatment first. But if I have the injection now (with possible attendant risks of exposure the virus) and the temporary filling fails (it has already been there a couple of moths), the only option under the lockdown will be extraction - just the sort of invasive dental treatment that you are not supposed to have whilst on Prolia.

It is a real Catch 22 and that was why I wanted the medical advice. Rock and a hard place spring to mind.

Marama Fri 01-May-20 22:35:53

Never loose your own voice Lucky. I tend to believe most GP's ere on the Narcissistic, and we "the patients" tend to feel compliant & obedient to their authority no matter how they treat us. Your own personal circumstances at this moment in time have left you vulnerable and anxious. Telephone appointments as opposed to face to face, have little favourable in comparison. Often it can be difficult to convey over the phone the true depth of how you are feeling, or for the doctor to pick up on it. Having said that, I don't think in your case it would have made much difference. Respect & courtesy works both ways Lucky, yet often, those in authority can act like little Hitler's. Medical receptionists included. A complaint to the practice manager as others have suggested, and this at the very least will help you feel a little better. Perhaps, if there is a next time this happens, and you're feeling stronger, you could try calmly voicing, " with all due respect Doctor, I don't feel you're listening to me, etc, or helping me, etc, as I would wish or expect, etc. If nothing improves, complain to the Practice Manager once again. You should always expect a follow up reply from the PM, and hopefully a positive outcome, leaving you with a more comfortable frame of mind Lucky. Don't despair, there are many kind & good natured doctors out there.

maddyone Sat 02-May-20 00:13:39

clementine
Of course you’re right, GPs earn more than carers. However my daughter trained for twelve years to become a doctor first and then a GP. I don’t think anyone would seriously suggest that a qualified GP should be paid the same as a carer. I’m not in any way denigrating carers, they do a wonderful job and are, mostly, extremely dedicated to the care of those in their care. But I do think that achieving the necessary high grades at A level, six years at medical school, Foundation Years 1 and 2 in hospital, plus further training to become a qualified GP, deserves the recognition that it gets. In other words, we are paying for their expertise. It’s entirely justified and compared to other comparable professions, not particularly well rewarded.

maddyone Sat 02-May-20 00:17:15

...most GPs ere on the narcissistic.....
Frankly I find it truly disgusting that anyone should make such a vile suggestion.

maddyone Sat 02-May-20 00:22:17

Incidentally a couple of months ago, before the Covid19 outbreak, my daughter came home absolutely thrilled because that day at work she had made the appropriate intervention that saved the life of a baby. This is what GPs do. It isn’t the first time her intervention was crucial to a life saving situation, but it was probably the most acute time.

welbeck Sat 02-May-20 01:17:05

it is a tricky one.
is there any interim lesser treatment you could have while delaying the injections to get dental work done first.
what about upping vitamin D and calcium supplements.
i think you need to discuss it all with the specialist nurse.
GPs often do not have the detailed specialist knowledge and experience to advise in detail, maybe thats what she meant.
i wish you the very best. hunker down. eat well. dont exert.

GabriellaG54 Sat 02-May-20 01:46:31

The thing you must remember is that doctors cannot tell you what to do.
They can tell you what's on offer and tell you the pros and cons but not give advice either way.
Your GP was telling you that it's your choice to make. Either go into hospital for whatever or don't go.
Doctor's do not want to carry the can for a decision that goes wrong, if they advised you to make that choice.
You know what other issues there are and only you can make the decision.
There is also the fact that your GP is probably worked to death. They usually have several thousand patients if she's part of a health centre and she might not have the time to go through the multiple questions you may have, nor the answers to them.
Could you ring a clinician on 111? They are medically trained and have more time to spare. They can ring you back.

welbeck Sat 02-May-20 02:49:11

i don't think 111 deal with this kind of thing.
they are for acute problems or out of hours issues.
ring the hospital department.

Jura1313 Sat 02-May-20 03:46:24

I would like to thank Missfoodlove on her informative description on how her hospital is dealing with outpatients during covid19 pandemic. Possibly, you could ring your hospital reception or someone there who could advise you about your conceens. For instance the specialist nurse. If she cannot answer all your questions then she probably knows someone who could find out.
As for your GP, if she has been okay in the past, I would be inclined to give her attitude a pass at this time. One of the hardest jobs a gp has to do is deal with death. Especially I should think, when they feel so helpless.
My husband died suddenly when I was 38. It was 6 months before he actually was told this fact. And that was by me. He was horrified and very upset about this.
I wish you well with all that you have ahead of you. x

Luckygirl Sat 02-May-20 10:30:43

GabriellaG54 - it was discussing the pros and cons that I rang for - GP refused to do this at all. That was the problem.

maddyone Sat 02-May-20 11:01:42

Luckygirl
I hope you don’t think my spirited defence of GPs was in any way about you and your problem. It was about some of the sheer ignorance displayed by a few posters on here, and as the wife of a GP, who you sadly lost recently, I believe you will understand. As I said earlier, I think you should write down all your concerns and then make an appointment, preferably by phone, but with a different GP. I also said if it was myself, I’d aim to get the dental work done first, but that is your choice. It did occur to me today that doctors don’t like discussing matters to do with teeth, it just may be th at your GP heard ‘dental work’ and thought she didn’t know about it. I’m not excusing her, I sincerely hope my daughter would not respond that way.
For those who aren’t aware, GPs are currently under a lot of stress. They visit care homes with Covid19 patients aswell as dealing with the usual run of appointments. They have no idea if a patient who they need to see in person is bringing Covid19 into their surgery. Many of them have young children at home and they are deprived of their usual childcare. They are juggling children, looking after older parents, and working with the additional fact that they are also struggling to get sufficient PPE. Like all of us they know that many medics have died of Coronavirus and that they have left their families without a parent, often very young children, and some of those who have died are GPs.

Luckygirl Sat 02-May-20 13:51:42

maddyone - I absolutely understand. I absolutely recognise the strain that GPs are under.

maddyone Sun 03-May-20 00:57:07

Thank you Luckygirl.

amelie Mon 04-May-20 08:01:41

I have been on Denosumab for three years now. During that time I have had invasive dental work. Having said that, I would be inclined to wait until after your dental issues have been resolved before starting a course of medication.

loopyloo Mon 04-May-20 08:14:01

I rang my GP with a query and was told they were only available for emergencies but if in the case of an emergency I would ring for an ambulance or take the person in the car to A&E . So what are they doing?

Iam64 Mon 04-May-20 08:43:58

Are some folks really suggesting that GP's are having a holiday during this lock down?
I'm in for blood tests tomorrow.
I had a call from the receptionist 5 minutes ago asking I I'd be available for my doctor to phone this afternoon to do my regular RA review. Sorry we aren't bringing people in currently but Dr x will call you at 4pm

One morning last week I had a half hour consultation with the practice nurse on their Ageing Well initiative.

There is also the need to trawl through medical records to identify those of us in the vulnerable group. Many GP's are also working on the front line in our hospitals to support the NHS during the crisis.

Alexa Mon 04-May-20 09:25:13

Luckygirl, most people have to have very brief consultations either by phone or in the old days, in person.

I understand exactly how you feel about having several health problems that you need help to sort through, and the GP is the obvious person to do so for you , as you are not an expert.

There is a communication problem. If I were you I'd try to make an appointment with the specialist nurse who probably knows what conditions you may have that might impinge on the hospital treatment.

I am afraid most doctors are too busy to discuss bereavement sadness unless you need actual medication for it. A good counsellor would be the person to go to for that, if you can afford it. In lockdown there are telephone or email consultations with professional counsellors.