Gransnet forums


AIBU to expect DH to have common sense?

(112 Posts)
Quizzer Thu 21-May-20 15:56:25

Lovely warm day and I returned from my walk to find that DH had opened the door from our kitchen to conservatory "to get some air into the kitchen" The k. does have its own windows, which were shut. The temperature in the conservatory was almost 40C (104F) and consequently the temp in the k. was over 30C and rising! In the winter he leaves the same door open and all the warmth of the k. escapes into the unheated conservatory. I have tried locking him out there but he still does constantly. angry

Coconut Fri 22-May-20 09:33:56

What starts out as a “tongue in cheek” fun post, then turns into a serious nit picking battle of the sexes ..... lighten up ! We all have faults and we all have to learn to laugh at them .....not to start scoring points ..... Men and women are wired differently, “vive la difference” !

Quizzer Fri 22-May-20 09:42:54

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newgran2019 Fri 22-May-20 10:02:59

It's nice to hear that Grandad1943 no longer 'speaks of the failings of others behind their backs on a public forum', as I seem to recall he made some rather unfair judgements on me back in March. Good that we can all improve! {smile]

annodomini Fri 22-May-20 10:08:03

To be fair, this is supposed to be a forum for grandparents, not just grandmothers. Over the years, grandads have dropped in and mostly dropped out again. The fact is that the majority of concerns raised are those that relate to the lives and relationships of women. I wonder how the founders of Gransnet expected it to evolve - it would be interesting to know.

Nannan2 Fri 22-May-20 10:11:25

No Grandad1943,i think if you watch the comedians on channel 4 and comedy stand-ups,you will find that some of them have not moved on& often tell "the wife"& "the mother-in-law" jokes!

Chardy Fri 22-May-20 10:18:30

Clearly Grandad you've not worked in a pub. Pairs of men propping up the bar discussing in public how awful it is not to have this or that done for you. Or maybe it's only in front of the barmaids they do it.

Sadly there are still many men who like things done their way, regardless. I taught in a school that served a naval estate, and my own children went there. There were times when you could tell if a kid's dad was home on leave.

I'm glad for Mrs Grandad that you're not like that. It's a misogynist hangover from 'head of the household' days.

Grandad1943 Fri 22-May-20 10:18:45

Quizzer, as the OP this thread started out (like so many on this forum) with you whining in regard to the stupidity of your husband. In that, I responded ( if you care to look) by advising that all these very unintelligent men were lucky to live with women who must be perfect in every aspect of their lives.

Since that post, I have responded politely to every post and request made on me in regard to the topic, but it would seem that some female forum members are not content with that.

Could it be that those women hold guilt for so often talking very disparagingly about their husbands and partners behind their backs on an open forum?

As for myself being on this forum, I have been here for more than two years. The Equality Act states I have a right to be here, and I very much intend to remain on here.

My intention to remain is due to so many like yourself Quizzer openly opposing men being on this forum.

Equality works both ways.😄

Nannan2 Fri 22-May-20 10:21:33

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Paperbackwriter Fri 22-May-20 10:23:19

Grandad1943 You are doing something called "sea-lioning". It's a close relation to "whataboutery". Always fun to see these things in action!

Pantglas2 Fri 22-May-20 10:26:58

How did this amusing thread turn into a let’s pick on one poster bunfight? As I said earlier on, we ALL have foibles which irritate our other halves because none of us are perfect!

Grandad1943 merely gave an example of one in his marriage and if anyone didn’t find it interesting all they had to do was ‘read and run’! Why the need to belittle someone?

Grandad1943 Fri 22-May-20 10:31:17

Chardy, I do not recognise the picture you paint of men only propping up the bar in a pub discussing what their wives and partners do not carry out for them.

That habit and behaviour went out with Benny Hill type humour in the 1970s although many women on this forum seem to cling to those outdated habits as an excuse for their outdated views and actions in life.

When entering a pub in these times I find it is both men and women propping up the bar all to often in joint discussion on many topics.

Anyway, I have work to get on with so I will leave this thread to the ladies of the forum until later in the day. 😇

sazz1 Fri 22-May-20 10:31:39

Granddad you stay here as I think it's nice to here things from a male perspective and I'm sure others do too.

Callistemon Fri 22-May-20 10:33:38

Oh dear.

At least Grandad recognises that men and women are equals!

I dont recognise the naval estate reference.

mimismo Fri 22-May-20 10:35:18

There's a saying in Spain that common sense is the least common of the senses, unfortunately true!

annodomini Fri 22-May-20 10:35:33

PS to my previous post: Quizzer, please do not include me with 'us ladies' who 'always like to chat without male interference!' Frankly, I can't envisage anything so stultifying.

grannypiper Fri 22-May-20 10:36:10

My Dh who is a intelligent will insist on putting the fan on and opening the window, i dont know how may times i have to explain why that when it is hot the windows and blinds are closed and then the fan goes on

Nannan2 Fri 22-May-20 10:36:23

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Calendargirl Fri 22-May-20 10:38:30


Your neighbour’s advice makes sense, but I wouldn’t like to leave certain windows open at night for security reasons.

Nannan2 Fri 22-May-20 10:47:27

But Sodapop, as us all,wanted 'interesting'& 'entertaining' anecdotes- not boring office blah blah blah.grin As some seem to think,its not just to moan about stuff.

Nannan2 Fri 22-May-20 10:49:02

The navel estate is also self- explanatory.

Callistemon Fri 22-May-20 10:51:50

I don't follow your post of 10:36:23 Nannan2
What are you trying to say precisely?

Gransnet is not exclusively for women.

Callistemon Fri 22-May-20 10:53:05

The naval estate reference is incorrect.

But won't argue with you further, you are obviously in a belligerent mood this morning.

Cambia Fri 22-May-20 10:57:14

Chill out Grandad1943! This is a place for light humour most of the time and encouraging and backing each other up the rest of the time.

We all have things that drive each other mad but they are not deal breakers. In a long and happy marriage they are usually just accepted as minor irritants outweighed by all the other good things. It doesn’t stop us poking fun at them though sometimes!

Grandad1943 Fri 22-May-20 11:00:47

Nannan2, what a series of "Rants". Calm down girl....calm down, or you will blow a gadget. I recommend that you have a lie down in a dark quiet room for at least half an hour.

Now, I really must get on with that work, although coming up to a bank holiday weekend not many others seem to be working with many businesses already closed for the holiday.

We seem to be living in a land of never-ending leisure these days. 🤔 😄

Theoddbird Fri 22-May-20 11:05:21

Count your blessings rather than moan about un important things. I am sure you could find loads of lively things to say about him. Can we hear those instead please ..