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AIBU to expect DH to have common sense?

(111 Posts)
Quizzer Thu 21-May-20 15:56:25

Lovely warm day and I returned from my walk to find that DH had opened the door from our kitchen to conservatory "to get some air into the kitchen" The k. does have its own windows, which were shut. The temperature in the conservatory was almost 40C (104F) and consequently the temp in the k. was over 30C and rising! In the winter he leaves the same door open and all the warmth of the k. escapes into the unheated conservatory. I have tried locking him out there but he still does constantly. angry

Toadinthehole Thu 21-May-20 16:32:04

An Indian neighbour we had years ago, about 30, once told us that British people get it all wrong when it’s really hot, as regards to the opening/ shutting of windows etc. We should keep everything closed in the heat of the day, including curtains, especially those windows in direct sunlight, to keep the heat out, much as we would in the winter to keep the cold out. They should all be opened at night, to let any heat escape, and cooler air in. I do this every year, and it does work. We would love a window in the attic, so we could just take the ‘ lid ‘ off at night, and lose the heat much quicker. You’re right, your conservatory is a heater for your kitchen. Men seem to struggle with these things, I don’t know why. Hope you cool down soon?

MiniMoon Thu 21-May-20 16:36:45

I know exactly what you mean. My DH does those sort of things.
We have patio doors at one end of the living room, and a window at the opposite end. He will open the window and the patio door, there is often a howling gale blowing through, which makes it uncomfortable to sit in, especially when he does it in the winter.
I've told him and told him to no avail.

Grandad1943 Thu 21-May-20 17:23:26

We see so many of these "idiot husband" threads on this forum, but of coarse everyone on these thoroughly stupid men lives with a woman who is perfect in every aspect of her life. ?

PamelaJ1 Thu 21-May-20 17:27:20

Exactly Grandad. You seem like a very wise man?
You can’t spell though??

I close windows when it’s hotter outside than in and close curtains.

Grandad1943 Thu 21-May-20 17:44:58

I have never claimed to be perfect PamelaJ1, and in that, I do not speak of the failings of others behind their backs on a public forum. ?

Doodledog Thu 21-May-20 18:02:40

It's called letting off steam, Grandad. One doesn't need to be perfect to do that.

Here's a little ditty I think you might like:

Women may have many faults
but men have only two.
Everything they say
and everything they do.


Speaking of husbands - mine will not wrap up bread products when he has opened them angry. He opens croissants, rolls, teacakes, whatever, takes out what he wants, and puts the packet back without sealing it or even turning the packet upside down to close it that way. No amount of nagging/screeching/asking sweetly and reasonably will get through to him. Why?

Grandad1943 Thu 21-May-20 18:07:26

So what are your faults then Doodledog that your husband complains of in regard to yourself as to say you are not perfect.

EllanVannin Thu 21-May-20 18:10:42

In our household when my H was alive, it was me who was the stupid one----try living with a perfectionist who used to spell out things for me grin Everything had to be done meticulously. Maybe that's why I'm now a slob.

EllanVannin Thu 21-May-20 18:12:52

He was in the Merchant Navy where space etc was at a premium so that's why he was tidy.

Grandad1943 Thu 21-May-20 18:42:02

My wife often complains at this time of the year that I never roll up the garden hose after I have used it. She also often has a "verbal slap" at me when I leave my tools laying about after finishing a job around the house.

In the above, she is a verbal wordsmith in the art of the one-sentence slap down. In leaving my tools laying about, she normally states, "what job are you about to start now then"? ?

However, after fifty-one years of marriage to her, I know she would never take to an open forum to speak of my faults, even if that were under a site name.

There are topics that should always be kept only between those who hold genuine love and respect for each other.

Pantglas2 Thu 21-May-20 18:49:42

The ‘praise in public, play hell in private’ is a pretty good idea for a happy marriage isn’t it Grandad1943? I’m sure DH could list my foibles but would be ill advised doing it outdoors!

Jane10 Thu 21-May-20 18:51:15

Grandad. We don't know you in real life. Try not to take this personally. Just think of all those comedians who tell 'wife' or 'mother in law' jokes. We've had to suck it up all these years. Surely we're entitled to let off steam about husbands somewhere or should us little women just scuttle off back to the kitchen and not dare voice a protest about our lords and masters? grin

Callistemon Thu 21-May-20 18:51:38

I have tried locking him out there

I am being very nice to DH. He's cooking tonight.

welbeck Thu 21-May-20 18:57:55

the day paradise put up a parking lot,
you don't know what you've got til it's gone.

Callistemon Thu 21-May-20 18:59:01

Jane10 Yes, we've heard those jokes for years, haven't we. Never about "my wife" or " my mother-in-law", always "the wife" or "the mother-in-law".

Quizzer didn't objectify her DH, she referred to him as her Dear or Darling Husband!

DH does like the bedroom window open when it's minus 20C outside, but that's another story.

Alima Thu 21-May-20 19:07:39

Just because because your DH was in the Merchant Navy doesn’t necessarily make him tidy EV. My DH was in the RN and has latterly developed the habit of not being at all tidy, leaving stuff in the wrong place very frequently. That, combined with going round making sure anything I have left out of place is immediatelily stowed away even if I have mentioned I hadn’t finished with whatever it may be.
As this appears to be a thread about strange things husbands do maybe the men on here could start a thread about what their wives/partners/mothers/sisters do that they find incomprehensible. Might give us some insight.

Grandad1943 Thu 21-May-20 19:10:13

Jane10, men telling those mother in law jokes went out with the Benny Hill humour in the 1970s

At the age of seventy seven, even I can accept that the world has moved on by way of humour, and in that, much for the better, I find.

Grandad1943 Thu 21-May-20 19:55:04

In regard to us men talking about the foibles in their wives, my other half and I have continuously worked together since we started our company in 2003.

She has always looked after the accounts while I have always been on the operational side of the business and although we are both in what is a very large open office with many others (when the company is operating as normal) it can often be that we do not relate to each other very much all day.

In that, she will very often, when we are finished for the day, ask questions on my work such as "how is that accident investigation going at " whatever company" and do you think that strange bloke Steven mentioned will make a credible witness.

However, when I have had my mind on the problems of that matter all day often it can be somewhat tiresome to go through it all with her when I am looking to relax.

However, I realise such situations can be of interest to her and others she works with in the office so I always take the time to relate all that's going on normaly over a glass of wine later in the evening.

When the boot is on the other foot though and I ask how is the financial balance is shaping up for the end of the month or quarter I always get the same responce, being, oh, we are still chasing all that up with a long way to go. Problem is all her workmates in admin also always give the same responce. I always say, "this is a bloody stitch-up".

By the way I am telling my wife what I am writing here, and she has been in fits of laughter at it, asking who would want to know all that.??

sodapop Thu 21-May-20 20:40:55

Who indeed Grandad

Grandad1943 Thu 21-May-20 21:03:56

sodapop, if you try looking up-thread you will see that a forum member requested that us male members of the forum give account of the foibles of our wives. The above is my polite response to that female forum members request.

But of course, sodapop to look back through a thread or witness someone is responding to a request is obviously quite beyond such as yourself.

Callistemon Thu 21-May-20 23:10:22

You missed a trick, there Grandad
Surely you meant to say "my better half", especially if you read this thread to her.

Grandad1943 Thu 21-May-20 23:34:01

Callistemon in the above I feel that for someone of such perception and accuracy in their posts you are unusually on this occasion somewhat erroneous.

However, I will concede in this event that my earlier post should have been written as "my equal half and I". ???

annep1 Thu 21-May-20 23:38:32

Welbeck I'm not in the habit of correcting people. And I apologise. But I thought you might like to know the lyrics are They paved paradise...?

Missiseff Fri 22-May-20 09:27:10

Grandad. I suggest you leave Gransnet and start up Grandadsnet and leave us little women to complain all we like about whatever we want if you're going to be so touchy.