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AIBU

She keeps texting me propaganda filled with fake news!

(78 Posts)
willa45 Sat 13-Jun-20 23:34:40

Please bear with me (long post)
My husband has a close male cousin who lives with his wife in a different country. We live in the US. They retired, but they do visit their married daughter (she lives here), at least twice a year.

Lately, the wife has taken to texting me on average, four or five messages/videos/links per day, with conspiracy theories and all out fake news. She also adds her own comments about the stuff she sends.

Politically, there's a lot going on these days, but even though I'm well informed and I fact check everything, I don't usually discuss my politics on social media I detest political squabbles and I definitely don't like it when someone tries to 'bait' me with bogus propaganda.

I also can't block or 'defriend' her because we have too many people in common on social media. No one has hacked her account either. She posts the same kind of stuff on Facebook and I've seen firsthand, the hostility that goes back and forth when she tries to inflict her garbage on others.

So here's my dilemma. I would like her to stop sending me these texts with her ridiculous theories. It's annoying and I'm beginning to resent them AND her.

Since she's related to my husband's family I can't get rid of her that easily....I have to see her from time to time and her daughter lives in the same town as our daughter. How can I get her to cease and desist, without creating a bigger problem?

Ok, now I'm done venting....(deep breath)

TwiceAsNice Sat 13-Jun-20 23:41:21

I’d say you’re happy to receive other news but don’t like anything political so please don’t bother sending that . If said nicely she might stop. Otherwise block the political posts or delete them and she might get the message

B9exchange Sat 13-Jun-20 23:41:23

If she is part of your husband's family, I would have thought it is up to him to help you out? Why isn't she texting him?

As a drastic move you could change your phone number, but it would probably be better for your husband to ask her not to send these texts, just to talk about family matters in her communications with you?

Doodledog Sat 13-Jun-20 23:42:20

It sounds very wearing! I have someone on my FB who does similar - missing dogs at the other end of the country, utter rubbish about Covid etc.

Could you tell her that you are a bit overwhelmed by politics just now, and you are taking a break from it, so would she please send you pictures of her cat (or whatever) instead?

I think a lot of people might be doing similar, so it won't sound far fetched.

geekesse Sat 13-Jun-20 23:47:02

Just delete her messages, ignore her posts and don’t open files or watch the videos. She may send them, but you don’t have to read/ watch them.

BlueBelle Sun 14-Jun-20 05:26:17

Just tell her quite kindly that you don’t want to receive her theories and texts about them as they re wasted on you and just go straight in the bin Then do just that, if you don’t read them they can’t be of any bother to you
I just chuck all the theories stuff I get as it doesn’t interest me and I don’t believe them So why would I read them

ginny Sun 14-Jun-20 07:00:44

It is wearing to keep getting these posts but just ignore them.
You can still keep in touch.

Furret Sun 14-Jun-20 07:36:33

Depends on the content. So much racist fake news around these days. If this is the case tell her to stop sending them as you find them offensive. If it’s just garbage eg 5G stuff them delete and ignore.

Oopsadaisy3 Sun 14-Jun-20 08:22:28

On FB you can unfollow a person, they won’t know.
When you receive a text , don’t open it , press delete.

Aepgirl Sun 14-Jun-20 09:39:57

I make a point of never commenting /criticising the politics of other countries to residents of those countries, and I always tell my friends of these countries. International politics is so diverse and confusing so there’s no point in trying to change it. I think you should tell your cousin-in-law that international politics is something you don’t discuss.

grannytotwins Sun 14-Jun-20 09:40:30

I have a friend who now bombards FB with fake news and political nonsense. She has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. I haven’t deleted her, but quickly scroll past. If she messages me I reply with something bland which seems to stop her.

JuneRose Sun 14-Jun-20 09:40:31

Just quietly delete them unread. She'll probably eventually stop sending them. At least that saves a falling out.

polnan Sun 14-Jun-20 09:41:34

I agree, if you haven`t already told her , you are not interested
do that, kindly,

then if she persists, don`t read them, treat them as junk mail?

theretheredear Sun 14-Jun-20 09:41:50

Unfollow in fb, you don't get their posts & they don't know 👌🏻😊😊

Bluekitchen192 Sun 14-Jun-20 09:43:58

I've muted a few people writing about David Icke theories and the like but I agree that can feel a bit hostile when its family. Just delete without reading is my suggestion. No discussion no arguments, no attention. Anyone who asks, just be vague and say you must have missed that. If they persist, get up and go to the loo. Come back and start talking about cats who play the piano. Direct where you put your attention. To quote someone. ,life is like a buffet table. Choose what you want and leave the rest. Don't waste your time wondering who will eat the devilled eggs.

natasha1 Sun 14-Jun-20 09:48:07

I have a friend, does this and we have opposing views, I.just delete and don't ever comment

Let's just say, we agree to disagree,it's hard but we all have our own opinions and.likes and dislikes.
Hope.you can.cope by deleting yours too
X

Jillybird Sun 14-Jun-20 09:48:43

Is there any chance you could respond with "Fake news, again, ha, ha,!ha"!! grin Or, "yes, I saw that, load of rubbish, isn't it?" Or "it's a wonder what some people believe, isn't it?" Or even "where do you find all this hilarious nonsense?"
The idea is to make her think you believe she is not taken in by such ludicrous information and thinks it is as funny/ridiculous as you do...

Thoughtful Sun 14-Jun-20 09:50:31

I did just that recently....a friend send me about 20 messages one after the other on messenger, with pictures and remarks about the state of affairs at the moment. I read the first, but ignored the rest....Each time one came through I just deleted it.

Theresamb Sun 14-Jun-20 09:52:18

You could always put a statement on Facebook which is aimed at everyone, for example. ‘To all my friends and family, please no more politics or fake news on here or texts. From now on any that come through will be deleted without being read. These forums are for entertainment not for depression.’

Jess20 Sun 14-Jun-20 09:52:57

Is she posting onto a Facebook wall or something, so other people can see her messages? If so then it's going to be associated with you and make you look like a nutter as well if you don't pull them down quickly. I had a friend who kept posting stuff about Nigel Farrage saying he was so wonderful, I had to keep deleting it. She has finally stopped now after her husband pointed out it was all garbage. I'd personally block her from any social media and if challenged deny it, say it wasn't you, and it's Facebook's fault. Its like telling someone they look OK in some dreadful hat when they don't, to avoid hurt. Most people you can be straight forward with and be honest with, but there are a few time when a bit of diplomatic untruth works much better. As for texts, just archive them without reading and then you can always retrieve something if you find you missed something important.

25Avalon Sun 14-Jun-20 09:54:14

If you don’t want confrontation which I understand could be difficult in this situation, just delete any texts etc that come of a political nature. I see Thoughtful has just recommended the same thing and put it into practice.

sazz1 Sun 14-Jun-20 09:57:46

I have a friend who constantly puts rubbish like this on Facebook often hoping to start a big argument. She's slowing down lately though as she's received lots of very abusive comments advising her to check dates of her post, country it came from etc. Basically people in UK aren't interested in a missing person or dog in Canada or somewhere else miles away 4 years ago and say so. And 'fake news' is often published by Facebook under a lot of her posts. I neither comment, share or like any of the rubbish she posts and she's stopped messaging me these wonderful theories now.
Strange how different people are on the internet as in RL shes kind thoughtful, placid and a wonderful friend.

Esmerelda Sun 14-Jun-20 10:01:22

Good idea from Jillybird if you have the time to reply to her texts ... otherwise you can just delete them without bothering to read them. Also good advice from others to unfollow her on Facebook. It won't affect your interaction on FB with friends you may have in common there and, if they comment on her posts, you won't know because you won't see those. I have done this with a couple of people.

Tangerine Sun 14-Jun-20 10:03:22

I think I'd ignore her when she posts this sort of thing. Just respond to normally to posts from her which are "normal".

She'll get the hint.

Coco51 Sun 14-Jun-20 10:06:15

Just scroll over her texts