Fil doing his own thing

I don't think the OP said she is currently cooking for her FIL did she? Only that he could form a bubble with her family and she would be able to cook for him? May be wrong.

Personally I would stop worrying, just let him do what he wants but doesn't mean you have to put yourself at risk by going to see him either.

I think everyone who has capacity should know exactly what they should be doing to reduce the risk of passing it on. Not in favour of telling others what they should or should not be doing. At 76 maybe he just wants to live his life as he wants? If he and his friends have been isolating for past 3 months, highly unlikely they will pass anything on but up to them to judge. Hopefully, wherever they go to they will observe the distancing rules?

So is pneumonia and winter flu MawB which kill thousands every year Yes we have a kinda vaccine for both but the flu vaccine only covers what they believe to be around at the time and seasonal flu still kills many many people especially old and infirm every year

There will be a treatment found for this There are lots of avenues opening up and maybe even a vaccine but we have to use our own judgement as to how much living to do while waiting for those things which could be a year two or more and bearing in mind the virus could well mutate
Does the fact Ebola doesn’t affect us in the west make any difference ?

My sister's FIL is still driving at 90. He was caught the other day having driven 5 miles to the city centre for Tesco. He and his wife lives with my sister and had hoped to get home before she arrived home from work. He is hopeless even before the bubble started.

I’m intrigued. If FIL is healthy and fit, why are you cooking for him?

BlueBelle Mon 22-Jun-20 16:28:44
The virus will be with us for ever, now, there will be periods when it’s dormant but just like AIDS SARS EBOLA and other viruses they are still here, still around just the same as seasonal flu and colds are always out there in our midst

Not exactly Blue Belle
Ebola is not endemic in this country or indeed anywhere in Europe, HIV is not spread by coughing, sneezing or contact, SARS has an effective vaccine and has declined in the Far East as well as not being common in Western Europe.
You didn’t mention Zika (which we are not at risk from either)
Covid19 on the other hand is very much here, is very transferable and for some people is potentially very dangerous

Those who do not obey the rules put all of us at risk of a second spike. It is not just a case of a personal decision only, that decision affects all of us. If I don’t stick to the rules I would be concerned that I might inadvertently be the cause of someone dying.

Things are going to get more complicated as more and more rules are relaxed and become more and more difficult to follow. Easier when we all had to stay home!

Why are so many people not going anywhere apart from the supermarket.Last weekend we went a river walk to Bewdley we kept social distance used hand sanister.Had a picinic again social distance used paper plates.The week before we walked hatton locks kept social distance.Previous to that Bradgate Park.This weekend we are going to Weston Park ticketed entry.People need to live their lives but be sensible.Some people on here might as well be prisoners .If you are healthy and take all sensible precautions you can go out enjoy life

I think a lot of people listen to the ‘rules’ and then just apply them as it suits them. I am constantly feeling an outsider because many friends are meeting up for coffee, barbecues, etc, and I keep refusing to join in.
However, most of them are relying on others to do their shopping because they won’t go into shops.
Double standards springs to mind.

A 85 year old friend who should have been 'guarded' refused to stay home. Did her own shopping, refused to wear a mask and went on car rides with her daughter . Even called on a joint friend who had stuck to the rules and said she had called for a coffee.
Friend let her in and was then treated to scorn at what an idiot she is for staying locked in, 'it's all a big fuss over nothing'

The virus will be with us for ever, now, there will be periods when it’s dormant but just like AIDS SARS EBOLA and other viruses they are still here, still around just the same as seasonal flu and colds are always out there in our midst
If you are going to be waiting until it’s gone you will wait a very long time if you’re waiting for a vaccine you will also wait a long time We have to learn how to manage living with it sensibly, each taking their own responsibility The government has given woolly guidelines because it has no idea itself so each person must decide how much or how little they feel they want to do and risk
It’s looking increasing like the 2 m will be reduced on Monday and that pubs and cafes will be reopened
Each person must decide for themselves whether they want to use pubs cafes Shops etc or stay in their houses for much much longer perhaps for the rest of their life

Your father in law has decided he wants to take his chances and not stay in his house and that is his choice entirely if you don’t want to risk catching anything off him then tell him as he’s seeing other people you have to withdraw your bubble offer and go back to how you were It’s up to him to choose but I d wait till after the weekend it may all change again on Monday ?

husseysarah. I think because you have posted on here you are concerned about your FIL bringing the virus to you.

He is mixing with others and although unlikely, it is possible he could become infected. That is his choice but you don't have to take the risk. To be safe I would keep him out of your bubble.

My father in law lives over 100 miles away, but his partners son lived close to them and has offered to do all of their shopping and collecting of scripts etc and yet he refused all help offered, even not taking up on the opportunity of prescriptions being delivered, has to go in person to the doctors to drops it off, pick it up and take it to the chemist despite me telling him over and over again he doesnt have to do that. He is 83 still driving (and that fills me with dread) going to Sainsburys once a week to do his shopping. He is such a strong willed man and we have to treat of egg shells as he will stop talking to us if he thinks we are trying to tell him what to do. He is a nightmare.

Totally agree Bluecat. This virus is still with us and too many people are forgetting this. One of our neighbours had 10 visitors in house yesterday at same time. I was in the garden and saw 4 cars arrive pretty simultaneously and in they all trotted.

I have never understood the line "He's old but healthy, so the risk is low." That's how diseases work - you're healthy until you get ill!

Obviously, co-morbidities put you at greater risk, but the risk starts to rise anyway if you're over 50 and it just keeps going up. You can be as fit as a fiddle but if you're 78, you have the immune system of a 78 year old. This gentleman is at risk and, by breaking the rules, he is putting others at risk too.

Sorry - I’m new to this. Meant to put my post on ‘How many people do you know ...?’

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lot of people just pleasing themselves. Then if they get this virus, it's woe is me, I now know of 3 folk who I know has died of this terrible virus. Nobody knows who is a carrier until it's too late

Well.....only you know the strength of your relationship with your FiL and his state of comprehension regarding the bubble rule. I would tell him how he had 'burst' yours and why you were reverting to square one. Of course, I would do this gently and kindly but I would certainly isolate him again. Too dangerous for me.

Of course you are entitled. Surely the other people with whom he has firmed a bubble must have asked him about family involvement. Just let him get on with his new bubble, you can't do anything else and protect yourself and family. Hopefully the rules will change soon for another bubble type thing to be allowed.

There would seem to be many people doing their own thing at the moment which is rather alarming. It is difficult to tell a man of his age what to do. you just have to hope that he is being careful and not putting his or anyone else's life at risk.

Personally I wouldn’t take any risks whatsoever! Explain the bubble , ask him what he wants to do, and if he’s happy with mates find a safe way to deliver food and meet him 2 m distant in his garden. It’s horrible being strict but it’s even more horrible being sick. Especially since some symptoms seem to go on and on and on and that’s if you don’t cop it bad.

My DD is doing our shopping and when I mentioned that a few friends of ours (over 70s) have been going to garden centres and places like Costco she said 'well, you can go if you want to, but I won't be getting your shopping', which I feel is fair enough. I think. because she works on the front line, she sees the consequences to people of our age who get Covid-19.

Looks like he is fit& well enough to go out in car with his friends, so fit and well enough to shop while he's out in car, (maybe that's where they were going?) And well enough to cook for himself too maybe? Or maybe he rather would see his friends and fend for himself a bit?it might be hes felt a bit 'coddled' & wants to have a bit of a more normal life than he has been? Just ring him and ask & if he wants to 'bubble' with his friends thats fine, but unless he asks for youre shopping& cooking help, ask him if he wants to try fend for himself a bit, with help from those friends instead then??

Agree with what most people are saying - by going in the car with his friends, that is against the concept of the bubble/lockdown rules anyway, none of us should be in such close proximity with several people from different households. Either he wants to be in an "exclusive" bubble with you or he doesn't and I would indeed distance yourself from him if he can't see any issue with travelling with friends in the same car - he can take the risk but you don't want to expose yourself to any unnecessary risk for now. The rules may well change this week obviously but that's how it is at the moment.