@annepl neither did I sit on my ass as a SAHM, I added as much to the marriage as I would have done had I gone out and returned to my previous job, locally the only people who seemed to make a profit on returning to work with young children were those who had family locally who had childcare provided by family members, who were I guess in effect, 'sponging' off other women, rather than their husband, or worked shifts with husband ,so someone was always available for the children, had that been us it would have been the nightshift for me as now ex went into work late and worked late and always went out of an evening, I never got evenings off, husband never even took a day off to look after the children so I could go to my grandmother's funeral. When my children were little I used to sometimes feed a young lad up the road far too young to be left on his own while everyone was at work, after discovering that he spent the money given to him for food [chips - only local takeaway, as too young to use the cooker] on sweets, so I'd do him beans on toast, a sandwich or whatever. But hey the parents were working, so all good. I try not to judge other women but I fail in situations like this, I'd never have been prepared to do that, no idea if it was because they couldn't afford childcare or like me had no family around. Even as they got older they still benefitted from having someone there who could help them with their schoolwork and broadening their education, which has I believe paid off massively looking at the well rounded and well-educated adults my children have become, they are hardworking, caring and compassionate and understand that people need to work together, for the common good, and not like some might have predicted, spoilt and selfish. I could have become a childminder and looked after my neighbour's child while she looked after mine, that would have led to the same actual extra income into the household, in fact probably less as there are costs to running a business, and I guess I'd have needed a car extra costs. Yet somehow I am the one in the wrong, not contributing to the household or local economy. I was able to volunteer around the children and benefit the community in that way, and being voluntary I could drop it when I needed to and pick it up again when I could.
Doing the DIY, repairing things and basically everything to do with running a home has served me well now I'm single as I'm used to doing everything, it's nothing extra for me, but I know that ex has found it extremely hard to adjust to doing things for himself.
When I started work being able to pay a married woman's stamp had only just been abolished, things were very different back then, if I had my time again I'd do differently I'm sure, I'd chose a man who was prepared to be an equal partner, who would do his bit with the home and children. Back then marital rape was legal, and anything I did earn, I did manage some occasional one-off things, or interest from savings, had to go on his tax return. It was classed as his. I've never thought of my mother as being like a prostitute either, to be honest.