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Email Address

(77 Posts)
donna1964 Mon 13-Jul-20 22:19:27

I in the last two days have found out that my brother is using my Email Address without my permission. I received 2 emails addressed to him confirming a cancellation and rescheduled appointment. I emailed the 'Sender' and told them to delete my email address a.s.a.p as my brother was using my email address without my permission. I received an email back to say it had been done. But, I have not dealt with my brother yet...I have sent him at txt today to say "Don't think i don't know you have been using my email address!! He has not replied. This is what my family members are like...they have no shame. My standards have always been different and I live by my conscience. Over 56 years I have had so many sly, sneaky things done to me by my siblings. Yet, in my father and mothers eyes I have always been blamed not them. If I was to go and have it out with him...he would twist it and tell my Mother & Father a different version and I would be called the trouble causer. What am I to do? My mother or father has never listened to me..they hear me shouting about it and then I am accused of causing trouble...never ever have they blamed the other sibling when it is blatent they are wrong. I am not supposed to say anything, be walked over and say nothing. That is how it has always been...and my siblings know that. My down fall is getting into an argument with them and I end up shouting because I am never listened too. But I think anyone would shout if you knew all of what they have done. I feel so angry and so insulted that he believes he can get away with this...yet he knows I am not soft. There have been many times I have walked away from the family for they affect my mental health. This time around I am only back on the scene because my Mother & Father are both 82 & 83 and their health is not good. I do more for them than any of the others and quite frankly my Parents do not deserve my time for all they have put me through over the years. But, I am not them...I don't behave like them and will do right by them until the end of their life. I have to live with myself and I don't want any regrets when they pass...despite everything I want to live with I did all I could for them while they were alive. A lot of you may not understand my actions....when I have been scapegoated. Can I ask for advice regarding my brother...what would you do?

Jellybeetles Sat 25-Jul-20 15:16:10

Donna1964 I truly understand how you feel and that the damage that is caused us as a child and then throughout our lives is very harmful, powerful and has a long lasting and deep effect that is very hard to change especially if they never change. I have way more respect for my wonderful few close friends than some of my family members. Blood is meant to be thicker than water but OMG the harm that is caused is not worth the maintenance of the family relationships except where urgent to interact. I think there may be some only-children here.

TrendyNannie6 Thu 16-Jul-20 17:22:02

I agree with you axxliz life is so precious , sorry to hear you lost your brother at young age , I’m not territorial either and like you said willing to share anything, but sadly not everyone in some people’s families are like this, some are ruled by pure greed, and think only of themselves and what they can get. So sad isn’t it, siblings can all be brought up in a loving family all treated the same, all loved, but sometimes there’s one or more that suddenly turn on you, so I can understand where Donna1964 is coming from, it’s really hard to try and defend your actions if you have someone in your family that’s making up lies and exhausting trying to explain yourself and try and put things right when you are doing your best

TrendyNannie6 Thu 16-Jul-20 11:41:15

Exalted wombat, don’t understand your post, what do you mean stop it, hopefully Donna1964 will come back

Shropshirelass Thu 16-Jul-20 08:55:57

Strange that he used your email, was he trying to let you know something that he couldn't tell you? There is no benefit to him to do this as he wouldn't be able to access them.

welbeck Thu 16-Jul-20 00:39:21

yes, there's a lot of sense to that, axxliz.

axxliz Wed 15-Jul-20 23:21:47

I do not understand, so please do not think that I am criticising but I had only 1 brother who died at age 26 at least 40 years ago. Perhaps that has made me how I am now which is not in any way territorial and I am willing to share anything with all and sundry. Life for me and probably all of us is so very precious but so short too. It doesn't matter to me how anyone else sees me and arguments are pointless and difficult for me because I am forgetful. Just live as gently as you are able in harmony with this beautiful world. xxxx God Bless xxx

Chewbacca Wed 15-Jul-20 22:00:14

Woah! This thread has taken a whole new turn. What's going on Donna?

BlueBelle Wed 15-Jul-20 20:58:26

This is a very very weird thread
The chances of this being malicious action by our son are nil Are you donna1964 s mother exaltedwombat ?

lemongrove Wed 15-Jul-20 20:28:35

Has the OP come back yet??

lemongrove Wed 15-Jul-20 20:27:56

Are you alright Exalted.....or just trying to type things on your phone??

Doodle Wed 15-Jul-20 20:15:21

? I think I’ve lost the plot here. What are you talking about exaltedwombat

welbeck Wed 15-Jul-20 20:11:28

well it is difficult to understand.
maybe if he had to cancel an appt, he gave yr email as contact rather than his own, so that if the company came after him for a cancellation fee, they would address it to you rather than him.
as to all the care of parents etc, i guess you have already registered yourself as having caring responsibility with yr parents' GP. in case any queries arise when you are not present, and for their further safeguarding.

ExaltedWombat Wed 15-Jul-20 19:59:46

I mean brother. ( Why doesn't this board let you correct misprints?)

ExaltedWombat Wed 15-Jul-20 19:57:45

STOP IT! This is either a misprint, or something has got hold of either your or his email address list. The chances of this being malicious action by our son are nil.

jerseygirl Wed 15-Jul-20 19:54:25

I agree, its so easy to change your password.

MawB Wed 15-Jul-20 19:39:07

If all that has happened is that OP received 2 emails intended for her brother then
1) he has not hacked into her email
2) he cannot access her emails
3) she need for nothing except ignore anything intended for him as she chooses

Inthink OP has other issues, possibly not exactly what she is presenting with but this is not, repeat not a serious email breach.

Molly10 Wed 15-Jul-20 18:09:54

I haven't read the whole thread but I did wonder whether the cancelled/rescheduled appointment had anything to do with your joint POA. You seem like a very forceful, if not stressed woman, so maybe that was the reason to either use your email or copy you in so he would keep you in the loop.

Other than this I really cant see what he would gain by using your email address as he wouldn't receive the reply unless you told him.

Perhaps try to stay calm and talk to your brothers reasonably. Judging by your opener here you fire off on all cylinders without asking him the question first.

Keep Calm and Carry On!

Toadinthehole Wed 15-Jul-20 17:28:57

I would suggest you walk away now. I know you say your parents are in bad health, but they could still go another ten years! If things are as bad as you say, you may deteriorate so much, you won’t be in the right mind to feel assured you did the right thing by hanging on. The email problem is easily put right...it’s all the other stuff which is questionable. Your parents have plenty of help...and unless there are other reasons which you can’t specify, I really wouldn’t give any more of your life to this.

Xxjanexx Wed 15-Jul-20 17:15:16

Unfortunately once you send a email address to a company,most off them are sold on.

I sent a email to the states just asking if they posted to the UK
Since then I’ve been inundated with emails from the states.

So it’s possible this is why you received a email at your address but not for you.

annep1 Wed 15-Jul-20 14:01:34

I think some people still aren't getting it.

endre123 Wed 15-Jul-20 14:00:16

The brother is clearly a nasty piece of work. He didn't need any password to give a third party his sisters' email but that third party will know now he cannot be trusted.

But that type do not care, it's a sign to everyone what misery they can bring if anyone crosses them. Using his sisters email address is telling her he can intrude into any part of her life. If this behaviour has been going on for years it will be horrendous on the target of the menace.
She doesn't need to change her email, it is hers, but the brother is stepping into an area that can be called abuse.
I had a sister (had, as I have nothing to do with her now) who enjoyed boasting she knew how to "hack" and we wouldn't believe her until we found she actually took over some sms identities and much worse. People who do this sort of thing cause massive problems in families yet their friends may never see that side of their personality.
As someone said, it gets much worse after parents pass away. They disrespect every sibling then as if their existence is no longer justified.

MawB Wed 15-Jul-20 13:26:03

geekesse

Azalea99

Sorry if I sound stroppy, but you’re all advising her to change her password, et cetera, and I don’t think you’ve actually read her emails at all. Her brother simply gave her email address to someone else. This does not constitute a security problem, and it doesn’t mean he’s reading her emails or has got control of her email account. Changing her password will do nothing to stop him. If she changes her email address then she has to be very careful not to send him any emails or he can do exactly the same thing again. She should send anything that comes via him directly into spam, and clearly inform the sender that they are not to use her email address again.

I repeat what I said above - it’s probably just a ‘reply to all’ thing.

Exactly - not really a problem is it?

Merryweather Wed 15-Jul-20 13:20:45

Change your passwords to everything regularly and delete the email saying reset password etc.
Sounds like jealousy. Keep him at arms length.

Marydoll Wed 15-Jul-20 13:07:52

A few weeks ago, donna you started another thread Power of Attorney-Health/Wealth, stating that you already had POA for your father, so I'm a bit confused. confused.

I have to say, I'm finding it all very hard to follow.

timetogo2016 Wed 15-Jul-20 13:02:01

FlexableFriend is spot on i can`t add a sausage to that.