I have a tricky friend.

I would have asked her to confirm on the day: 'Still on for tennis ??'

You could try the 'Ask a Gran' forum, PamelaJ1.

Of course, we may not know the answer but it's worth a try!

What a howdedo!

I think I’d have messaged beforehand, ‘ still on for 3 o’ clock?’, or then called when I got there to see where she was. Much easier in the ‘olden days’ when we actually spoke about arrangements!

The friend booked the court! She clearly knew. No manners and selfish.

I’ d be direct and say Why did you not phone or text to say you weren’t coming?

She should have apologised. Just say you are busy if she invites you to anything else.

Rose, she is normally very good with our arrangements so , yes I was at fault for not confirming . She was at fault for not responding to my acceptance of her invitation.

It was the way that she didn’t just say- sorry I forgot - that irritated me. I live 15 mins away from the court, she lives 30.
If she was tired she had time to ring at the last minute.
So my conclusion is she just forgot. We all do it sometimes. Why not just admit it?
I’ve got another ‘problem’ now. I may put it on the news thread but it is a bit frivolous so maybe chat? Decisions, decisions?

ElaineI

To me it doesn't look like a confirmed agreement. I would have messaged before going to ask if she was coming at 3 for tennis or not.

Yes, I wouldn't have gone either- Someone in my family is very much the same with throwing tentative plans out there to consider- ? I know that I have to contact them to comfirm the day before or even at the eleventh hour! It's just their personality, how they operate, and nothing personal-
There's been plenty of times I've had to decline- It works both ways-

To me it doesn't look like a confirmed agreement. I would have messaged before going to ask if she was coming at 3 for tennis or not.

Pamela I have heard a worse excuse from a friend who failed to turn up for a definitely booked lunch date but I couldn't possibly post it on here.
Luckily it wasnt just her and me, two other friends were there.

Perhaps you have answered your own question by posting this. You would not have posted if you had not come to the conclusion yourself- that it is time to give this friendship a bit of a break - and see if she makes the effort and apologises.

Onwards

Very rude of her, but there was no confirmation

Well I’ve learnt a lesson. Although our arrangements have previously been based on trust. I trusted her to let me know she wasn’t coming, after all it was her suggestion that we played.
Now I will want it confirmed. However I feel that , as the court was booked she did intend to be there! She just forgot.

You can come out of the corner now?

Callistemom

I have your favourite tea and cookies!
My naughty corner is your naughty corner (modified version of "mi casa es su casa")

Hithere

I join the team of "The 3pm tennis appointments was never confirmed".
The suggestion was out there but that's it.

I think we're huddled in the naughty corner.

I join the team of "The 3pm tennis appointments was never confirmed".
The suggestion was out there but that's it.

harrigran

I know someone who sends a vague reply and leaves arrangements to me so I send a message with date, time, venue and what time we will be picking up. If I don't get an ? or a proper message I resend it a day or two later.

I have three friends like that, harrigran. We used to meet up regularly for lunch (before lockdown) but it always seemed to be me who arranged it, co-ordinated it, booked etc. One never turned up the last twice. Since lockdown I kept in touch with the others but one of them never phones me so I've concluded she just isn't bothered. Thank goodness for the other one!

Of course when all this is over she might phone and ask if we're meeting up (and can I arrange it!)

Agreed 100% - and yet, the confirmation of time and date should have been made clear and not left unconfirmed.

'Sorry, too knackered' just isn't good enough is it?

I'd be hopping mad. It shows no consideration, at all, for you having made the effort to be there.

With some people it's all 'Me, me, me!' and they'll just drop you like a stone if it suits them. They are not real friends.

I know someone who sends a vague reply and leaves arrangements to me so I send a message with date, time, venue and what time we will be picking up. If I don't get an ? or a proper message I resend it a day or two later.

I am inclined to agree with everyone who says you can do without this friend.

Possibly, in your shoes, I'd ring her up and ask politely for an explanation.

It depends on how much you wish to have this friend in your life.

Perhaps she was having a dig because Pamela didn't first ask how the MRI scan went.

There are always two sides to every story, I was just trying to look at the discussion from the other point of view.

Callistemon

Sorry, Pamela
However, I was trying to look at it from the other point of view as I know neither of you.

But it doesn't seem very fair to post her texts on here - she could be a Gransnetter too.

If she is a GN’er also, she might get the hint that you weren’t happy.

Sorry, Pamela
However, I was trying to look at it from the other point of view as I know neither of you.

But it doesn't seem very fair to post her texts on here - she could be a Gransnetter too.

Callistemon, that comment was unfair.
I have been through a lot of scares with her. I was supportive through this one.