Must be a Bad Grandma

I love looking after my GS. He makes me amazingly happy but I'm a teacher so I do have other responsibilities involving kids,obviously. I've tried to compromise by going part time and just having GS one day a week to help out.

Opposite problem here, my son and dil and gd live far (12 hour car ride) from me so I only see them once or twice a year. I would love to be more involved and be able to establish a relationship with my granddaughter. I feel that she won't ever really know me (she's almost 2 now). I would be thrilled to babysit, but it will never happen. I was very close to my own grandparents - one set lived down the street and the other I spent summers with so I had relationships with them from birth through adulthood. I do understand that this is not for everyone and now realize how exhausted my grandparents must have been suddenly taking care of 4 little ones all summer! They were great at it and wanted to do it, but it should be your choice not something forced upon you. Spend as much time with your grandchildren as makes you happy and don't apologize or feel guilty for not being the nanny or defacto sitter. They are not your children to raise or be responsible for. Don't fall into the trap of feeling guilty for having a life now that your own children are grown and flown. Enjoy them and let all the rest go.

Yes just say no, as they don't behave for me sorry.

Mamie5, no you're not alone and don't have to feel guilty! I had 4 children too and have babysat for all of their offspring. However, even if they didn't realise it, it's always on my terms! My parents, especially my Dad, was very hands on with my 4 and I know that's been 100% positive in the way they are today. But I see now that it was all on their terms. I was informed where they'd have them and what they'd be doing. I do the same with mine. I say where I'll have them and what we'll be doing. It really does work! Things had to change after I had a stroke a few years ago, but again, as long as everyone knows what's expected of them, being a Grandparent should be a joy! Do not stand for any bad behaviour ~ from anyone!

Strange isn’t it? We are all different and that is okay. Before I had grandchildren I thought I wouldn’t want to babysit, but since he has been born I love having him. Sadly his mother died when he was 4 and so that upped our involvement but it was easy as the relationship was already there and we lived within walking distance. He has a room at our house and clothes and stuff too. When my son remarried we had a bit more time off! But we still have him after school once a week at least, and for a week or so at a time during holidays, to give them some time... It works for us. We do a seaside holiday with him every other year too... simple pleasures like crabbing and ice cream on the beach... he is 11 now and this won’t last for ever... he’ll have other interests...

This may seem odd to many of you Gransnetters, but I am only too pleased that I do not have, nor likely to have any grandchildren. Anyone else feel the same?

travelnan

This may seem odd to many of you Gransnetters, but I am only too pleased that I do not have, nor likely to have any grandchildren. Anyone else feel the same?

Nope. I really wanted grandchildren. Don't know why, because I was never broody about having a child of my own (only have one). It DID occur to me that the real thing might not be as good as my imaginings. However...

My accidental grandson is the best thing in my life, ever, by a very long way. He leaves me incandescent with joy. And fortunately, he loves his old Gaga too.

travelnan

This may seem odd to many of you Gransnetters, but I am only too pleased that I do not have, nor likely to have any grandchildren. Anyone else feel the same?

Definitely not. I can’t imagine a world without them now.

That’s not to say I don’t have other people and interests in my life - I’ve plenty. But my grandsons are an absolute joy.