Another family get together ruined

And there was I thinking you might be bringing words of support biba70

I suppose tough love has it’s place.

Denial is all part of the process- your choice- and a hard one for some.

Oh Hithere was that fair to bring in the OP’s words (without her permission) from a previous thread during lockdown?

I dunno. Seems a bit mean to me.

A ‘gotcha’ moment really. I felt uncomfortable when I’d read it.

i'm afraid it is clear to everyone who encounters you, and now to us too, that you do have a problem with drink, which you seek to dismiss and deny.
your family are probably weary with trying to express concern for you.
but you stubbornly refuse to address the issue, and divert into petty squabbles.
please seek help. while you still can. good luck.

Good luck to you OP.

I’m sure you’re the only one who finds your drinking to be a joke.

I hope "learned my lesson" means you will be drinking less in future, Dortie, especially around your daughter.

Maybe her being 'triggered' when you have a drink is because of a change in your demeanour, which you don't notice.
Or because she is on edge in case you drink too much.

If you treat the whole thing as a joke, and continue to drink as you say you have been doing, you can expect many more unpleasant family encounters.

Your choice.

Ha ha ha hoist by my own petard lol I actually didn't know about the water breastfeeding thing I breastfed both of mine without a flagon of water by my side probably a flagon of wine (joke?) before the temperance society jumps in.
As soon as my son in law left for work I knew I was in trouble as he had been doing everything for her all day I have no problem helping I have spent days cleaning and tidying her house babysat all the things a GM does and I do not have any resentments toward my daughter and my GDs are my life but she doesn't seem to like me and having a drink is a trigger and I have learned my lesson Thank you for your comments and detective work so funny I do not need any further help apart from AA apparently?

I had a mother like yours, nothing I did was right and the hurt never went but I just used to say 'we didnt get on' rather than say 'shes a real bitch to me'.
I have had 3 very big babies and at 4 weeks I could carry them as far as the kitchen and the sink to refill my glass or mug when that urge for a drink of water hit whilst breastfeeding. Perhaps if your daughter hadnt stuffed the biscuits down she wouldnt have been so thirsty? Perhaps she's used to being waited on? Why couldnt she have asked before you sat down? It does sound like your whole family take you for granted, you were tired, probably feeling cheesed off and this was the last straw.

Oh well your link to Dorties last problem hithere has answered all the questions for us
The lady has a drink problem and probably has caused most of the problems herself The mother has a drinking problem and the new boyfriend if he’s still around has a drinking problem
Poor daughter and baby
Are you still living with the new drinking boyfriend Dortie ?

No point in taking this any further is there ?

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Based on the title:
How many family get togethers got ruined in the past and what happened for them to fail

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Gee can see who doesnt like a drink here.

One G&T and one wine after a busy day looking after DGD and then working.

As the OP was not in loco parentis I think that was fine.
Had she been in sole charge of the DGC then it would not be fine.

You were obvs pissed or well on the way

And you know this dil964 because? You were there? You're the offended daughter? The outraged mother? Or just another keyboard warrior who actually knows no more about the situation than anyone else. If "long hard looks at oneself" is the advice of the day, I'd offer it to you too.

That's not why I can't spell! Maggiemaybe, I'm just not very good with this stylus.

I watch people flicking away with their thumbs on their phones and think 'how do they do that?'.

Thanks Maghiemaybe, I thought I was being a tad paranoid.

Just enjoying a Shiraz.

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I sympathise with you, dortie, as it sounds like you’d had a busy day.
Whether it’s alcohol or not, I always offer a drink to others in the room if I’m getting one for myself.
If you already don’t get on with your daughter, I guess you knew what the probable outcome of refusing to get the drink of water would be. Sometimes it’s easier to do things that irritate us just to preserve the peace.
Hope you get things sorted out.

Callistemon

Goodness!
I wouldn't like anyone stalking me on threads checking up on what I do and being judgemental.

Quite, Callistemon. I find some of the comments on here very judgemental anyway without previous perceived transgressions being dragged up.

Your reaction is very measured and fair, dortie. Good on you.

I'm curious as to why your Mother could not get her the drink? Is she disabled? To be honest if my daughter had been busy all day making things nice at the beach for us, clearing up, playing with children, going to work etc. I'm pretty sure I would have looked after my own daughter and told her to rest and got the water for granddaughter myself. You were not the only person in the house capable of getting a glass of water and breast feeding daughter should have been responsible for herself and made sure she had what was needed. I fear you have always been the one to fetch and carry and look after. Seems both were perfectly capable of making themselves food when they needed it but as soon as you are on the scene it's back to being princesses and servant, You've been compliant too long and they are too used to it and I feel it's shameful for them not recognising or totally ignoring that you must be tired and need a bit of time with your feet up. Sounds like they are very selfish.

I am not stalking. It is public information available in this forum

Feedback is only as good as the information it is based on

Rosequartz 39 excellent response and the only thing I would disagree with is that an alcoholic would have a hip flask with them all day as many alcoholics don’t have this behaviour. For some people even 2 drinks is enough to make them behave an think irrationally and to anyone else not drinking it can be irritating... put family resentments into the pot and you can have meltdown ! Far better if you’re not seeing someone regularly to pop that mask on and to be sweetness and light .... people can’t fight against kindness can they ?

Goodness!
I wouldn't like anyone stalking me on threads checking up on what I do and being judgemental.

Good luck. dortie
I hope harmony is restored.