Another family get together ruined

Why not just make a nice mug of tea for everyone in the first place before you settled down. Were you the only one have an alcoholic drink? If so it's a bit anti social. Maybe the others have a point.

Oh come on just get her the water
Were you staying at your mums too ? Youd set the day up (which sounds lovely) why didn’t you round it off by Just getting her the water, it sounds such a small thing for it all to have gone sour over after all the lovely things organised by you for their day
If you were accused of being drunk perhaps you had had a bigger couple of glasses than you thought
It really all sounds very petty
You start off saying my daughter and I don’t get on so really it would have been amazing if it had gone smoothly wouldn’t it ?
Life’s too short to have bad feeling over a glass of water

I’m on the fence here. Your daughter has a new baby and a four year old, she’s probably shattered, and it’s not unreasonable for her to be tired by the evening. I can also see that she and her Gran get on well, and were probably quite happy sitting together at the end of the day when you got home - I’d have asked if they wanted anything before I sat down to enjoy my glass of wine to be honest, rather than making a thing of being asked for a glass of water - I think you’re seeing this situation from your perspective rather than thinking about how they are feeling too?

I think someone here is assuming the daughter went to get biscuits but didn't get water. Maybe she had already drunk water and was still thirsty? Maybe the biscuits were just next to her and she ate them in an unthinking sort of way? Maybe she ate them and then realised she was desperate for a drink? ....We justdon't know the whole story here.

But... I would have thought getting a glass of water for someone you love who is breastfeeding a 4 week old is really not very much to ask - even at the end of a long day.

I would not have got myself a drink of any sort without offering a breastfeefing mum a drink either, as it happens... but I do know we aren't all the same.

She should have had the water ready before she started feeding. I always did. It’s not difficult. Sounds like you did enough. Maybe take a break from your family for a while, and do something you enjoy. Your daughter may just have post natal fractiousness, but she shouldn’t take it out on you. Any way...she can ask her gran for help for a while and see how they get on then. Enjoy your Gn’T.

From what you say you'd been on the go all day and had done more than your fair share at the beach earlier on!
Sorry but your daughter is experienced enough to make sure she's got a glass of water if she needs it before she settles down to breastfeed.

Me personally? Well, I do know that breastfeeding is very hungry, thirsty work and so I'd have willingly got my daughter a drink of water when she'd asked for one. As for the G&T and the glass of wine..... doesn't sound a lot to drink but, with one nursing mother, one baby, one 4 year old and an elderly mother to keep your eye on; it might have been better to have waited until you'd had time on your own to sit and relax to enjoy it. Only you know if your drinking too much. Are you?

but do you drink too much.
perhaps you do, and you refuse to recognise it and that causes much of the drama and ill-feeling.
what you call one measure may be greater.
why wouldn't you simply get her the water.
looking after a young baby is hard work, plus a 4 year old, and elderly person around.
did she demand it or simply ask. such a request doesn't sound unreasonable.
you sound aggrieved that they had already eaten ?
are you a difficult person. have you ever considered this.

oops posted too soon

...but you are one member of this family and it's the responsibility of all family members to avoid drama, rather than create it.

What would your daughter have done if she wanted a glass of water and you weren't there for her to "demand" you get it for her dortie?

I didn't breastfeed but if as Babyshark has posted, it's hungry and thirsty work, having made sure she had biscuits to eat, why didn't she get herself a drink too?

Having done so much, what a nerve for your daughter to accuse you of not caring and helping, and after a G&T and one glass of wine, saying you were drunk.

Why is no one talking to you? This is ridiculous and I hope you can find a way to be treated with some respect and be appreciated for all you do do from your ungrateful and entitled daughter.

With hindsight, getting your D a glass would have avoided any drama but

I think you have to take a long hard look at what’s going on. Getting a glass of water for your daughter would have been the best option and the best way to keep the peace. It would have only taken you a few seconds and would have avoided all the drama.

If your family are prone to domestic drama then you should learn the best way to avoid it.

Smile and wave as they say .....

Why wouldn’t you get your daughter a glass of water whilst she was breastfeeding? If you’re mum and your daughter question your behaviour and the amount of alcohol you had consumed I’d take that as an indication that some self reflection was needed. If your poured your drinks 1 G&T and one glass of wine could easily be double measured and that would be enough to make me tipsy.

Breastfeeding is hungry and thirsty work so I guess I see it from your daughters POV.