Am I wrong to be furious?

I'm used to it by now. My husband says he's going to buy a paper and doesn't come back for up to two hours. He can't understand why I worry. He says I know that he's either called into work or bumped into mates and had a chat or took the dog with him and had a long walk. Doesn't matter how many times I tell him, he still does it.

Reading the post I am just so happy neither me or my husband have any kind of routine. If I woke on a morning and my husband wasn't there I wouldn't think anything of it especially if he had left a note saying he had gone out! Each to their own but I would absolutely HATE to have him tracking me or vice versa. Not unless you OP felt your husband has altzeimers and that is why you were worried?

Just to be clear, we have the facility on our phones to see where the other is. We do not track each other, perish the thought. However it is handy, for example if he is later than expected rather than phone him and distract him while driving I can look at my phone and see that he is on his way or still with at his appointment.
We have complete trust in each other and certainly don’t keep track.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I have no desire or need to track DH however, when he tells me he is just popping out for a newspaper which takes approximately 10 mins and he hasn’t returned over an hour later, I naturally worry. He reacts similarly if I am out well over the time I would take to nip out for something.

It has nothing to do with being controlling. We are joined at the heart, not the hip and care about each other’s welfare. Quite normal for any spouse/partner I would think.

I returned home from a supermarket visit last week minus house keys as I new DH was staying home. On arriving home, the front door was locked so I went to the back door, also locked, found the spare keys hidden in a safe place but both doors still had keys in them. DH had fallen asleep and no amount of texts, phone calls or doorbell ringing wakened him. My constant doorbell ringing eventually wakened him with, Hi, where are you. I’m home, bloody freezing trying to waken you to let me into the bloody house! He now ensures all keys are removed whenever I go out. ?

DH does write things in the diary but I always forget to look so if he disappears unexpectedly for hours I worry.

See - DH good, me at fault.

I totally see the light heartedness etc but if posters do the “MEN!!! They’re all the same” then I can understand People (specially men ) reacting badly . Just saying.

It’s nice you are so close, but I’m glad my late husband and I did our own thing.

DH and I do our own thing, but if I got up and he was inexplicably not here of course I’d wonder where he was. Saying that, it does happen occasionally because I haven’t been paying attention when he’s told me his plans. I don’t like to drop myself in it by asking, so it sometimes remains forever a mystery.

On numerous occasions my DH went back into the house, knowing that I was in the garden, and automatically locked the door. Sometimes it took several minutes of hammering before he was alerted to what he had done.
As for them vanishing, or not coming home when expected - I think that women, in particular, are programmed to think that something bad has happened. Maybe it harks back to lying awake, waiting for the almost adult children to come home from a night out, before being able to settle.

Oh men!! My husband will never take his phone anywhere, unless it's in my handbag!!!!! Tell him over and over I worry something will happen to him and no one will know who to contact, no wallet is carried either ?

dragonfly46

My DH and I can track each other on our phones. When I used to drive up and down to London it gave him piece of mind.
I hope your DH turns up soon.

Crikey - that, for me, is the stuff of horror. I would absolutely HATE my OH to be able to track everywhere I went!

Just relax. He is probably Ok. Explain calmly when he gets back that this sort of thing makes you anxious and please could he let you know what he is doing in future so you don't worry. Have suffered this way all my married life. Staying calm works better than raging at him when he gets through the door.

My husband bought a £4 pay-as-you-go phone with digits so small he can’t read them. He didn’t bring it with him. I had a hospital appointment 30 miles away and he was driving me there. My supposedly hour-long appointment only lasted 15 minutes. Couldn’t contact him as he was wandering around a nearby Waitrose. I limped around the car park until I found his car then waited 35 minutes. Fortunately Waitrose had positioned some picnic tables outside the shop. He walked right past me without seeIng me. I feel taken for granted as he would have been furious if I’d kept him waiting that long. Men don’t clutter their minds up with concerns for others as women do. If you are over 60 they don’t even see you!

Buy him an Apple Watch. My phone is often set to silent because I play lots of online Scrabble with people in other time zones and I get told off if the phone “pings” at 3am because one of my Australian contacts has played. So I set the phone to silent and regularly forget to set it back to ring. But now I have an Apple Watch - it vibrates every time I get a text message or incoming call but only if I am wearing it (and I don’t wear it at night). Problem solved ?

Typical man thing!! They just don't think like us girls!
They don't realise how we worry!! MEN!!!
Glad he's back safe and sound.

No I would be worried sick too. Hope he returned safe and well

What is it with men who always say either back soon or I'll not be long? This covers a time of 1-8 hours!! Good job we love them ☺

I am very glad that your husband is home, safe and sound and that you can stop worrying. I really felt for you, and know that sort of worry and how it knots you up. The relief is wonderful and instant when whoever is causing it appears.
I hope you have a tranquil day now.

“Literally one flesh”

No Siamese twins on here as far as I know but there are lots of close, loving, caring couples.

Glad all is well now. Funny how we are all different I never expected my ex husband to give me an explanation on his every move and neither did I give him one. We just told each other where we’d been when we got home. Different strokes for different folks as they say.

Wouldn’t give a stuff!

I’m sure this sort of thing has happen to all of us, worst of all you see their mobile phone on the table! No it’s not checking up on them, it’s caring for the welfare of a much loved partner, otherwise you would give a stuff!

Marydoll Like you I have explained abbreviations to many new members and actually wrote to GNHQ about changing the word acronyms (which is mostly inaccurate as the page is full of abbreviations) but HQ wrote back saying they are happy with using acronyms.
They seem quite unconcerned with the fact that so many new members are inconvenienced.

I wouldn't know how to track DH's phone.

It would have been helpful if he'd taken it with him though so I could have phone to make sure he was ok.

He's just gone out in this appalling weather to buy some milk. His phone is on the side!

I think it depends on how you feel about this type of thing though. I would hate anyone tracking my phone, I just wouldn't tolerate it in a relationship.