AIBU about other peoples visitors

Curtain twitching is a nasty expression as though people are hiding behind their curtains all day watching their neighbours. Like others I would have to walk round with my eyes closed not to notice my neighbours because of where my house is.
I don't really care what they are doing but it is obvious that some are flagrantly flouting the rules and I can understand the OPs annoyance.
I also get bothered by people using mobile phones while driving or speeding. Should I try not to notice that either?

My neighbours are doing the same...they have the daughter, son in law and their 2 small children visiting all the time, I’ve not seen my grandchildren for so long, I’m really quiet envious, I’m caring for my 82 year old father he is my priority.
They gave visitors virtually everyday...we are now in tier 2 if it continues I will have to have words with them...it’s driving me nuts!

My DH and I (and the rest of our immediate family) are obeying rules to the letter. Others are not.

That is their decision. Their behaviour affects them.

We need to take care that concern at others' behaviour does not deteriorate into zealous condemnation.

Sorry skyweek, but of course you can't have two separate bubbles.

If you go from one bubble to another they're not seperate are they?

Do you really think the virus knows when the difference and wont infect people from another bubble?

I'm a little confused - DS lives with us and my 86-year old MIL lives on her own about a quarter hours drive away. We have always gone shopping with her (she is the only family member with a car) twice a week and we support her physically. On Saturdays we do a top-up shop and then we share a family meal, deal with technology issues for her etc. But that's the only time we see her. But DS has a GF with the family from hell and both he and she have mental health issues. They don't live together (yet) but they need to support one another and we recognise her as a member of our family bubble. Because of her family we accept that now is not the time to change things, and he and she have decided that they should not meet up for at least a couple of weeks, but we are worried that we can't be there for her in person. If this situation continues I suspect that she won't cope at all well - she's prone to self-harming and DS is worried sick about her welfare. I know we're trying to do the best, but just feel that I'm bashing my head against a brick wall. None of us has had any symptoms and it annoys me that we can't have two separate bubbles - MIL and us and GF and us.

Two weeks ago things seemed to make more sense than now, or AIBU. Any ideas, anyone?

Flakesdayout I am with you on this one. Quite frankly I am not concerned about what my neighbours get up to. That said, however, if what they are doing is exposing the community to risk and possible import of the virus. then like you, I would be very concerned. This is not on, because you not only have responsibility for keeping yourself safe, but also for keeping others safe.

flakesdayout of course you aren't being unreasonable getting fed up with people apparently getting away with doing things you don't feel right doing yourself, this is human nature surely. Who knows what price your neighbour might pay. How easy it was when the rules just said stay at home, no confusion there!

I do think that people should follow the rules, but I understand the confusion. A lot of them don't make sense, and there is also the 'use your common sense' mantra that politicians have used to justify their own disobedience of them. To a lot of people, the fact that they don't feel ill seems to be evidence enough that they aren't infectious, so it feels like 'common sense' that it will be ok to do x, y or z.

I agree that this is a short-sighted approach, but the only way to be sure that you won't get the virus (and even that is not guaranteed) is to stay indoors and not go out at all. If people are going to the shops, the hairdresser, on 'exercise walks' or whatever, they are probably at as much risk as someone taking sensible precautions when they visit a neighbour, and pose as much risk of passing it on if they are infected.

We don't know the circumstances of other people's lives, and we have no right to make assumptions about our neighbours. The willingness of some posters to assume the worst and report people is worrying, IMO. This virus is going to go away one day, and when it does it is likely to leave behind an even more divided country than we were when it struck.

I really don’t think the rules about the 3 tiers are that difficult. Imo people are using that as an excuse.

A friend has been off sick at home for 3 weeks with Corona Virus. She is on the mend now. She got it when when she and her husband helped her son move house. Her husband did not get it, her son did, they think it was thanks to the grandchildren.

By the information I’ve been reading on social media and the papers majority of people are saying they are not bothering following the new rules, these are all ages from teenagers to pensioners, the reason most folk are using is because the rules make no sense and no one else is bothering. So with this mentality I think there are very few that are taking it seriously. It’s got out of hand due to how unclear a lot of people find the new rules.

Sorry but you all need to report your neighbours. They don't own the virus and can't decided who and when to give it to ! All these people live life's and can go out and spread it. They are putting yours, your family and anyone they come into contact with life's in danger. We all talk about the virus, all listen to the statistics and the sad stories but then we watch these people breaking the rules and do nothing. If they don't care then they need to be reported so they are made to care. I realise telling on people isn't nice but the virus is even worse and we need to get it over with so we can all get back to our life's.

I am not condoning multiple different people visiting, but there are some 'hidden' exceptions that are allowed by the Government.
From last Monday, any planned Adoption Introductions may go ahead, with those involved visiting each others homes every day for at least 10 days.
This is not a Support Bubble, as it does not meet the criteria, but is deemed an essential exception.
I might add, we are in this situation, and I have also requested that the Adopters---and we---go into Self Isolation for 2 weeks before the face to face Introductions begin

'...We have decided to just do our thing. We don’t go into stores or restaurants and we walk away or turn our backs near people without masks....'

Quite. In the UK. We both self protect by deliberately avoiding people who come too close. Arrogance abounds. Also we note the wind direction and make sure we are up wind of others. It's no use expecting others to avoid you (runners coming within 1 meter breathing heavily!) you have to do it yourself.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I live in the U. S. It’s a nightmare here as even our leader won’t follow the rules. People not wearing masks and partying, planning to kidnap governors because they close down a state, and people yelling because they are asked in stores to put on a mask. We have decided to just do our thing. We don’t go into stores or restaurants and we walk away or turn our backs near people without masks. Terrible that the few make it bad for the majority.
If both parties quarantine for fourteen days then you CAN be together. I have a 91 year old mom and I have to see her . Why people don’t care about others disgusts me.

Canklekitten Mon 19-Oct-20 12:42:29
Thank god I don't live next door to you Merryweather!!!!

Thank god none of us (hopefully) lives next to you!!!!
What a selfish, self centred, idiotic series of 3 insensitive posts you have made.
Giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you are temporarily insane (Clearly not as a result of lockdown or isolation.) or simply ill informed.
As if hand washing and distancing inside a house will stop you all infecting each other.

I am just going to say I am almost apoplectic at the head up the bum arrogance of some people at thos present time.

Personally I don't think it's any of my business what others are doing, and I certainly don't take any notice of my neighbours' comings and goings. I've got better things to do.

Can anyone clarify please? If one has a complete 14 day quarantine period can that one then opt to change the people in his/her bubble?

I am the only visitor once a week to a 94 year old. Even family and her doctor won't visit. I worry about going in but she has no one else. It is heartbreaking.

Thank god I don't live next door to you Merryweather!!!!

If everyone followed the rules we would be out if this situation a lot quicker.
Viron spread by contact. Avoid contact covid and other viron can't spread.
It's very selfish of people to not follow the rules as it subjects everyone to longer more stringent protocol being put in place.
Personally, I would report them. I will be doing so from now on with my own neighbour who behaves irresponsibly.
I was issued a shielding letter, my consultant rang me to discuss my treatment options during the pandemic. She told me if I were to contract the virus I would be highly unlikely to recover from it. I would leave behind a 6-month-old baby, a 6 year old and a 9 year old. People need to take responsibility and stay at home unless absolutely necessary and within the tier ruled they live.

Canklekitten

Trouble is people have lost all respect for the government. I will follow rules when they make sense, but right now I follow my own rules and like your neighbour if I want to have friends round I will. Of course I make sure we all keep our distance and wash hands etc but I am not locking myself away. Trust me, the government's rules will change again as they can't make their minds up!
So many nosey neighbours, twitching behind their curtains. To be honest makes me sick!!

If we all followed our own rules like this then we will be in lockdown for ever!

I have to reply. I am not getting het up, I was just walking through my house past the window and noticed one car as the house is directly opposite. Half hour later I went back into the kitchen and saw another car. I am not curtain twitching, just looking out of my window and certainly not being nosey. I do not care about them, its just that one of them works with different people on a daily basis and the potential to infect many people is there. The daughter is the same. The friends vary and are in and out much of the time as are family members. I really do not want to go into another lockdown and have to shield again, and this type of disregard does not help. And yes I miss my family too.