AIBU about other peoples visitors

maddy in a tier 2 area, households cannot visit another household inside. In your case, if one of the brothers were single, he could form a support bubble with your in laws and go in as much as he wants. But otherwise legally they cannot visit inside. They could meet outside ( public or private space with the rule of 6 ) and of course leave shopping. I think the difficulties faced in this type of situation are a real issue and also illustrate how difficult it would be to implement the protect the vulnerable / let everyone else live normally scenario. If it were me and I felt I had no alternative, bearing in mind the need to minimise risk, , I’d do a rota - one week on, two weeks off. Still illegal but would be less risky.

Well, when we hear almost daily about MPs of all parties, ministers and their advisors, all breaching all the rules in one way or another, on what basis do they expect other people to obey the rules?

M0nica

Well, when we hear almost daily about MPs of all parties, ministers and their advisors, all breaching all the rules in one way or another, on what basis do they expect other people to obey the rules?

Because some of us ( most?) are not as self entitled as some of them are.

Flygirld, I must say I am flabbergasted by your comment : 'In my mind there is little difference to the path we are on now. '

surely there is no comparison whatsoever in the reasons and intentions.

Jcee. My thoughts are with you

I am so incensed that people choose to use “their common sense” as if they are virologists or can see the enemy so they can avoid it. One of the best ways would be to give everyone time to get in supplies, carers, etc and have a two - three week lockdown policed by our armed services. It would take a lot of organisation up front but would nip things in the bud. This never ending feeling is what is giving people Covid fatigue more than anything else.

suzie thank you for clarification. All my husband’s brothers are married, and obviously mother in law and father in law live together, so they were never able to form a bubble. It is really a big problem isn’t it? I’m not interfering because I think I’d be smartly told that it’s not to do with me, but in any case I don’t think anyone in the family will change their behaviour whatever anyone says. My husband rings his parents regularly and also talks to one of his brothers about his parents, but living as we do, 250 miles away, we can’t do anything to help and probably can’t influence their behaviour. I have tried enquiring just what the official carers do as I would have thought food preparation would be something they could do to help. My mother in law seems unable to tell my husband what they do, and she doesn’t have dementia and so I’m wondering what they actually do. My husband is in the process of applying for the Independent Living Allowance (not sure if it’s still called that) for both of them and hopefully they can get some better carers then. The carers are the complimentary ones provided for six weeks after hospital discharge in their area. I really think the position of people such as my parents in law has not been thought through at all by government. Simply because they are two people it is assumed they don’t need a support bubble, but actually that’s exactly what they do need. Your suggestion of the brothers doing a week each is a good one, but I suspect they will not go for it. In fairness, it’s a family trying to do it’s best for its elderly parents, with everything pitted against them. It’s not about rule breaking just because they want to. What a dilemma! I’m thankful my own mum moved down here after my dad died, it’s been so much easier to look after her with her nearby.

Sickenng to read how little some people have going on in their lives that they have time to be on sentry duty by the sink, monitoring everyone's coming and goings - even to the extent of knowing who stayed the night and when!
For heaven's sake take a chill pill, mind your own business and read an absorbing book.

instagran

Sickenng to read how little some people have going on in their lives that they have time to be on sentry duty by the sink, monitoring everyone's coming and goings - even to the extent of knowing who stayed the night and when!
For heaven's sake take a chill pill, mind your own business and read an absorbing book.

What a thoroughly nasty nasty post. Try RTFT

maddy you’re right about this type of situation not having been thought through. It’s the same with the relatives of people in care homes - equally neglected. It’s heartbreaking. That’s why I’ve so little patience with all the rule and guidance breakers who have no reason at all for so doing, other than it’s nice to see the dd, dgc etc.

Biba70. Sorry, but maybe you'll have to remain flabbergasted. All I see around me is control, divide and rule, and people being actively encouraged to shame other people for not complying with what they consider to be right. (Cressida Dick's comment about "shaming" people was disgraceful). I fear what is happening to us in this world (far more than the virus), and how far we have come in just a few short months. Even in as much as threads and discussions like this exist in the first place. Would we have seen this kind of comment 8 months ago about our friends and neighbours? No.
I see little difference to what I referred to in my last comment. A family that had to hide away 80 years ago fearing their neighbours would expose them? A leader who's catchphrase about everything he was doing was "fuer ihrer Sicherheit" (for your safety) which swayed and conned a whole nation? .....

Well, what exactly would happen to someone flouting the rules?
A telling off, a gentle reminder?
People seem to be getting a bit hysterical about members here having an anonymous moan.

Flygirl I agree with you . Awful how people are turning on each other.

Karen22

Flygirl I agree with you . Awful how people are turning on each other.

I think it’s more than awful how some people are deliberately flouting the rules and are clearly quite happy to behave in a way that risks increasing infection rates which could lead to death and disability for many, not to mention increased restrictions.

Getting back to the original post, yes I do think you are being unreasonable. No offence meant to you, but you did ask the question. We can all be a bit too quick to judge others at times.

You say you saw 3 individual callers, which clearly you find upsetting. These times are terribly hard as it is without worrying what our neighbours are up to.
We all have to get through it together the best way we can.

I hope you have a good day.

I’d be really annoyed about it but you see it everywhere so it’s not worth trying to do anything about it. I just think it’s no wonder that case numbers are going up as so many people just don’t seem to give a s..t and just do what the hell they want.
All the rest of us can do is try to keep ourselves and our families safe by keeping away from other people and obeying the rules.
I haven’t seen my grandchildren since they went back to school as I have very elderly parents that I see and help so can’t risk any cross infection. It’s so sad but sacrifices have to be made for the greater good and I think that’s what a lot of people young and old just don’t seem to understand .

Unfortunately the Prime Minister has failed completely to channel Churchill's war leadership where the vast majority of the population did pull together for the common good.
Rather his playing at PM has confuded and divided the nation. Thoughbthat may be his deliberate " divide & rule" strategy?

We all need to do whatever we can to influence others, surely? Isn't that our civic duty?

I just can't agree with the (cop out) 'mind your own business' stance. It really is my business, everyone's business, if idiots are spreading this deadly virus around.

Therefore I will loudly voice my opinions, report the parties, set a good example by keeping to the rules (however inconvenient), explain things to people - and yes, shame them too, if necessary. I'm confident to do that.

Force of public opinion (along with legislation) has influenced people to change - at least outside their homes. Most now use seat belts, smoke outside and avoid smacking their children in public. So we can all help by refusing to tolerate the rule breakers.

Anyone saying 'I'll take my chances' (so sick of hearing that) will be told 'But you're taking other's chances too! How will you live with yourself if Granddad dies?'

I guess the different attitudes on this discussion about neighbours allegedly flouting the rules may possibly depend on views held about whether lockdowns do any good or whether they just prolong the pandemic.

As far as I can see, the only way out of this is with an effective vaccine or by letting the virus infect enough of the population to create a state of so called herd immunity.

We know that it’s fatal for only a tiny minority of the population, and a number of scientists worldwide are now of the view that the best way out of this is for the majority of people to get on with their lives as normal, whilst of course protecting the very elderly and vulnerable.

@Flakesdayout, I pay no attention these days about what other people are doing, and I am not being dismissive of your thoughts about shielding/social distancing/tier groups. At the beginning of this pandemic I did get a bit Meldrew about it all, I would Chunner away, to myself about people flouting the guidelines. Then I took a step back and thought, well I am doing whatever I can to stay safe. I have learned that we have no control over other people’s actions (I think bringing up 3 children taught me that). I do adhere to a strict bubble though. Sending my best wishes.

Doesnt behaviour change because of cultural change and the influence of others. So it wasnt just the laws against drink driving that reduced the rate of drink driving, it was a cultural shift that made drink driving socially unacceptable. Surely its the same with this issue.

Well myself and husband are suffering from Long covid which we had in early May. Knowing what real suffering it brings, I too get mad when people aren't abiding by the restrictions. We choose to abide to keep our family safe, I am desperate to see my Grandchildren and my elderly Mother who lives alone in another town and who I haven't seen since last January. Also my in laws who have been ill. I just feel that when people are constantly mixing with others and having them in and out of their houses, it's an insult to people who are trying to keep others safe by not mixing, but worst of all it's an insult to people like us who are still suffering, and much much much more of an insult to people whose friends and loved ones have died, but I suppose with some people if it hasn't happened to them or people they know, then it's nothing to do with them.

JE there is absolutely no credible evidence at all of herd immunity being established for COVID without an effective vaccine. As for shielding/protecting the vulnerable, the champagne quaffing scientists of the Great (?) Barrington Declaration have not come up with one idea as to how this could be achieved.

Plus it’s not just about dying from COVID but also suffering from the long term effects including permanent disabilities.

I agree it pees you off- ive not seen AC for months& other night one of older sons rang to say they were on way to drop off his brothers birthday card with cash in as theyd dropped off birthday gifts for my eldests youngest child (she lives nearby me, but the others dont) he'd come 72 miles to me & my oldest DD- but i said no as we cant now have anyone in- so i sent my son (hes 22 today!) Out to get his card from them as theres a small car parking area near our house.But then i felt bad because if anything happened to us (you never know with the bloody covid raging!) and id missed out on a short chance to see him it would be awful! (Hes a bus driver so at higher risk)& ive got medical vulnerabilities so i was in a catch 22 situation.