It’s all been said. I miss spontaneity, friends, a sense of freedom, hugging and most of all our family. Our younger grandchild summed it up ‘I want the germs to go - NOW’.
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AIBU
what do you miss at this difficult time
(94 Posts)I have a close male friend, purely platonic, pre covid our Sunday probably every other week would be as follows.
He would come round to mine, about midday, we'd have a cuppa, coffee usually or sometimes tea. We'd then go with him driving to a local hotel where they have a lovely carvery in a really nice restaurant. We'd have a drink while waiting for the meal, I could have a wine as I was not driving.
After, we'd come back to mine and had another coffee!
Then, weather permitting and sometimes not, we'd take my 2 dogs for a walk, down to the river, walk along the path, up the hill and arrive at a small local pub. There we would have a drink, non alcoholic in his case, and then walk home sometimes picking up fish and chips on the way, sometimes I would prepare a light meal for us. We'd then put on music, fairly loud but I don't think the neighbours were bothered as it only happened once in a fortnight or so. We'd then danced having been to dance classes a couple of years ago, jive mainly but we had lots or fun. He'd then set off for home and I felt so fulfilled and looked forward to a quiet evening on my own.
We had a chat today and pondered as to when we would be able to do all this again. We think probably for not a long while yet. Both of us will be alone for Christmas but accept this is what we have to do to keep us and people close to us safe.
Just wanted to share, sorry not very interesting but means a lot to me.
Jaxjacky - your post nearly made me cry - I'm so much the same.
I've somehow, over the years, got used to my own family moving away and starting their own lives. But face to face contacts in the elderly community where we now live .... I feel them shrinking every day.
Oh wow what a wonderful friendship you have.
Can I ask why you can't bubble ?
I miss meeting the people that come to my weekly Shared Reading group every Friday afternoon. It's a reading and a social event in one. I haven't seen any of the people since March and I miss them so much.
yes, why can`t you bubble? I need to know
funny this thread, well funny to me, in that I have seen this question posed elsewhere, and never knew how to respond, praps I try not to think about it..
but yes, sponteneity...(and being able to spell! I used to be good at spelling!)
oh hugs... I would never have described myself as a hugging person, but how strange that I miss that so much now.
oh and MawB, thank you so much for your post, encouraging I think as I am just coming up to the one year mark when my dh died... so I have another year to go! ho hum.... yes, but the good days do get a bit more numerous, and the bad, bad days, less numerous, though just as devastating.
good thread thanks for all the posts.
I miss having the house to myself!
DH working from home with constant requests for more coffee.
Yes- he DOES know how to work the coffee machine!
He has also put a SORN on his car so we are sharing mine so I can't just go out for the day for a break as he has to use it sometimes.
AARRGGHH!!!
I miss meeting friends for lunch. I have 3 good friends who I usually meet once a month , separately. I’m missing them so much.
I’m lucky that I still work, because without the social interaction with my work friends, I think I’d have been really depressed.
My husband has dementia, which has become worse during lockdown. So for my sanity I need to escape.
I miss walking along the shopping streets and thinking 'I'll just pop into the library / café / charity shop'.
Now I sometimes still walk along the street but only to go directly to shops where I need to buy something.
Craftycat that's really unreasonable about the car - and the coffee!
I really miss not being confused abut who i can visit, who can visit me. I don't understand about the 'bubble' and i feel nervous everytime anyone suggests meeting up incase it is against the rules.
I miss spontaneity- having to think before doing anything, not being able to make plans, etc. However, I do count myself lucky to have TV, radio, internet, phones, etc, and always friends and family to contact for a chat. It must be awful to be totally on your own.
Peace of mind
I miss so many things. I miss my friends, I miss going to theatres and the cinema, I miss holidays, I miss going out for meals (although have been out a few times in the summer.)
I miss normality!
Yes Aepgirl, I miss being able to make plans. I think I miss that more than anything. The inability to plan.
Spontaneity and hugs
MawB2 How I understand how you are feeling it is coming up to my lovely mans 1st anniversary and because of the restrictions I have not been able to get into a revised routine at all as I still in a state of shock when the 1st lockdown occurred in March.
I miss seeing my little ones obviously the eldest of the three of them has started school and looks so grown up now and her baby brother has started chatting away to everyone.
Even buying myself a new little car has not helped much really but does allow me to get out from 4 walls and drive down to the beach front and people watch for a while and walk my little dog.
I miss Bridge holidays. A group of us from our club go away every year and it's perfect.
Having said that I have changed my life in other ways. No club commitments so walk a 1-3hours daily, save money, knowing (?)it's not forever.
My friends and I love going to shows and concerts. Have had 4 rescheduled until next year and the way things are going I honestly can't see us going then either. Usually had a pre show meal, couple of glasses of wine and a good chat before it. I really miss going, it was our girly time lol. They are all married and it was the time I got to see them all, husband free. I'm on my own, live alone and really looked forward to their company and having a night out.
Missing theatre (I used to travel into London to meet a friend), music festivals, fairs, just any entertainment events, live sport on tv. I even used to like the train journeys but not likely to do that anytime soon.
Family not local, so like others, some planning is involved if we want to meet up.
But trying to remain positive - there are many who are in worse situations.
I miss looking forward. Looking forward to weekends away, to parties, to the theatre, to meeting a crowd of friends, to big family get togethers, to Christmas...when can we look forward to something again?
Apart from missing grandchildren, who I do see, just not as much, the thing I miss most is my singing! My barbershop chorus should have been in Spain in April and this weekend would have been our national convention when we get to see our friends from other parts of the country. Its a big part of my life and as chairman of our club it’s getting hard to hold things together on Zoom!
I think the problem with the extended restrictions is that every day is more or less the same and we can’t really plan things to look forward to!
Where do I begin? I miss what now feels like a far distant time. A time when I met friends and gave them a hug; shopped daily picking up a coffee and a newspaper; spent cash; visited libraries, museums and art galleries; browsed in charity bookshops; took part in group activities; discussed books face to face with my book group; took part in real Pilates classes not poor imitation Zoom classes; had fun and laughter with my square dance group; hopped on a bus to Oxford or a train to London whenever I chose. I miss hugs with my family, holidays and the sea. I miss a time when my DH and I enjoyed sharing news of our day instead of quibbling over who forgot what on our online shopping list. I miss freedom - freedom to come and go as I please, freedom from fear and anxiety.
I love that Maw - do you remember when ....
It really isn't so long but a long time in your DGS's life!
Just being out and about without the acoutrements we now have to carry with us.
To walk into my hairdresser on a bad hair day and get something done, without necessarily needing an appointment if I time it right.
Family - only see them a few times a year all together - usually have a family barbecue on what would have been my mum's birthday in August, plus a pre Christmas family meal out (that's not going to happen as there is 14 of us) and a post Christmas barbie on what would have been dad's birthday 30th December - even in rain, hail or snow !
I last saw my sister round about Easter when she brought me some eggs and flour ! My 2 brothers I haven't seen since 30th December.
Well we see our daughter she’s in our bubble. She on lives around the corner she pops in I can go shopping with her and Sunday we went for Sunday lunch
My sister on the other hand has 3 kids eldest lives further away middle one nearby so she’s in herand my brother in laws bubble, her youngest lives in Southern Ireland with his
Family. She’s very tearful (in her 80s, she can’t see her grand children or great grandchildren.
Very sad for a lot of people.
I miss the idea of safely flying off somewhere to have a bit of heat to see us through what will probably be a miserable winter!
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