Support for those on their own in lockdown.

Me too.my daughter doesn't phone or text.the only way she knows that I am alive is by playing a quiz trivia game on Facebook.told her she nbeds to call.she says you ca do a video call.thing is I don't Like doing them.neighbours say they do shopping for you but when I ask they say they too busy.my local community says it will help.but when asked to get a special item needed there is no response.so I gave up.

I agree 100% and because no one else understands it feels like they don’t care . It’s awful. You wonder if you have any friends at all!!! ?

There is a volunteer support service for people on their own during covid. You get regular phone calls from somebody to chat to. Read about it here nhsvolunteerresponders.org.uk/

I have my son who calls me everyday to check in with me which is nice though it is hard to find anything to talk about now .
I used to be out and about meeting friends m but now I stay in never go out.
My next outing is Drs appointment for annual check up .
I had annual check on pacemaker in February and they said I needed a follow up in June to recheck it.
That was cancelled now they sent me appointment for next July 17 months after my last .
I am like many other people isolated

I don't know of anyone who would like emails like that. I wonder if Age Concern organises.

Everything you wrote resonated with me Sparkling. I'm happy today because my boots need heeling! A purpose to my day. How pathetic that sounds!

I don't know how I would cope without my little dogs. During lockdown in good or bad weather we go out to the park or the beach, we say at least good morning to almost everybody we meet. The fresh air sets me up for the day, the exercise keeps me well, I keep myself busy doing cooking baking and knitting , usually for charity. I find I am rarely bored or lonely. I'm 80 and live alone although my daughter and family live 3 miles away and I speak to them most days. I do find the dogs a great source of joy in the dark dismal days.

During the last lockdown I would go a couple of weeks sometimes without talking to anyone. Then it was just the click and collect person. Friends are all couples They don't realise. I got through it...will again. I don't blame people for being so involved in their own lives in this difficult times.

I agree with previous comments regarding how nice it would be to get phone calls asking how I am in the morning especially when I am about to face a day on my own with most likely no one to talk to all day as I live on my own and the lockdown situation has been affecting me since March. There are now two regular calls per week at rearranged times that I am thankful for but the rest of the time have no one to talk to.

I’ve lived on my own for about 15 years and retired 18 months ago. Pre virus I had a structured week which I like but all that came to an end with shielding. However, for my own sanity, I’ve created a new daily routine of exercise,housework, crafting, reading etc. Both my sons ring daily and the eldest who is my support bubble visits twice a week. I’m quite happy with my lot but I have noticed that contact and/or offers of help from friends and neighbours is not as forthcoming this lockdown. I don’t know if it’s the weather, apathy or what.

When DH and I take our dog out in the afternoon, we often bump into 'widowwoman' and or 'doglover'. Both will tell us we are the first people they've spoken to all day!! It's sad. 'Widowwoman' we have been seeing throughout Lockdown. Sometimes she has a friend, but usually alone. She doesn't have internet, makes me feel sad for her. Her son lives about 10 miles away, no grandchildren. "Doglover' is a more recent person we meet. Know even less about her.

Venus, my husband passed just over 3 years ago and I too am finding it difficult on my own, without the groups and activities I was filling the void with. I’m lucky to have good family and friends and it’s hard not seeing them. I put structure in my day with walks, music practice, video calls and some days it’s fine. Other days are an uphill struggle. You’re not alone!

Like a lot of others, most times I can cope living on my own with no one to talk to. But sometimes it does get a bit overwhelming. I have no family nearby and my only son lives abroad and does not wish contact. That in itself breaks my heart but I try not to dwell, keep active and count my blessings. It would certainly be 100 times worse to be cooped up with a misery guts of a partner, as so many are. So I am genuinely grateful and feel very fortunate that I can please myself and do exactly as I wish without having to put up with someone else's bad moods. I have actually undertaken a volunteer telephone befriender role, which as well as (hopefully) making others feel a bit better, does give me someone to talk to when otherwise perhaps I would go for days speaking to no-one. Maybe an idea for anyone who likes a chat?

Why not look into volunteering as a Call Companion with the charity Re-Engage? Here's the link: www.reengage.org.uk/latest-news/how-weve-adapted-in-the-covid-crisis/
You may have to copy and paste.

Dear TanaMa
what an inspiration and ...how lucky are we that have dogs so don't really live alone...and they make us go out come rain or shine and see other dog people who are usually a delight just my kind of sociability - unplanned uncommitted and quite zen. And I think that responsibilty keeps us going. We cant prepare for every eventuality in life ...being grateful like you are is the best remedy and I'm glad you have friends that check on you regularly as I'm sure you do on them

Why not consider volunteering to support others who are alone and lonely. I really enjoy chatting to people via the NHS volunteers plus another local charity. It is easy to sign up, and you just log on whenever you are available, ready to chat to people who are feeling lonely and vulnerable at this time. Listening to others and knowing you are making a tiny difference to their day is to be treasured.

Fortunately, I am happy to be on my own a lot as family are full of promises about phoning during lockdown, but are actually too busy with their own lives! My son in Canada is the best one at phoning! However, communication works both ways, so I am sitting with my cup of tea, a cat on my lap, and about to phone assorted people for a catch-up! Then it's off to the allotment to plant some broad beans - and who knows who I might (socially distanced) meet there!!

Neighbours avoid each other in Lockdown. Have problems walking so only go out when unavoidable. Had a little job couple of hours volunteering that kept me mobile & meant I saw other people. Gone now thanks to Lockdown again. My DS txts when he has time. If it wasnt for my little cat I would not have got through the last Lockdown. So very glad I have her as I am not totally alone!

I agree! I live on my own and actually speaking to someone really helps emotionally and is good for yr brain to think in the moment abt what you are saying and also using yr voice. If I haven’t spoken to someone for a few days my voice goes croaky! Txts are great for passing on a message but to have a good chat it’s much nicer to speak on the phone.

Thank you Sparkling for reminding me about the need to support lonely friends.
I gather from this thread that some are happily alone and others are lonely and some move between the two.
We all have down days but I am one of the lucky ones that has a kind and gentle husband to share the good and the bad, so it’s easy for me.
It is good to read the feelings of those who are alone or lonely so that I am better equipped to help friends. I do try to chat about many things not related to coupledom and am conscious of not saying ‘we’ too often.
I have noticed that my widowed friends seem to enjoy talking about their late husband or wife much more during lockdown and I’m happy to go down memory lane with them as their lost loved ones were my friends too.
My single friends seem less lonely possibly because they are used to being alone.
It seems like a nice idea Sparkling to open a thread for the ones who are felling lonely today and I hope it keeps going because others might feel lonely tomorrow.

Hi sparkling - what a great name! - I also live on my own (two cats for company tho) and know what you are talking about. I do feel bored out of my mind sometimes but I am not really attributing that to the lock down situation. I think its part of being older and feeling less valued in society as a whole.

Soooo - I do make things last as long as possible - ordinary things such as cleaning and doing bits of clothes altering - you know all of the small things that keep our lives together. Looking after ourselves is really important for our sense of self worth so putting that shine on the kettle when your standing there waiting for it to boil in the morning is a very positive start to the day. From others comments it looks like a lot of us are in the same boat so I think we should all just 'keep on paddling' .

I'm on my own, most days happy enough, but you do get a down day when you would like a bit of company. A couple of friends and my sister phone me for a chat most days cos they know I'm in my own and I get out with the dog and chat to other dog walkers I've got to know. Summer was ok, but the dark, rainy days are not the best. I make sure I've a few chores to do each day. My wardrobes look fab after the weekend and I've files of bookwork and a shredder sitting waiting for my next one. I've found though who my true friends are through this, there's one 'friend' I haven't heard from since the end of August after I took her out for 'my' birthday lunch! You do learn a lot at times like this. Love my daily dose of Gransnet

lovely thread, it helps me to hear that what I am feeling is not just me! and as you know that is not meant badly.

but I have a small group of friends from church and the craft group, but seems to me that I am the only one prepared to say how bad I feel at times... we are not good at sharing are we? well generalising ,of course!

I have made 2/3 email contacts here on Gransnet, but find that we all find it difficult to keep up the communication. so a phone call to someone who I do now know would be extremely difficult for me.

God bless us all.
only 23 days to go now

Bluebelle: I am sorry to hear you are feeling bad today. I just wanted to say I remember you. A long time ago you stood up for me when I made a comment about acronyms. I appreciated your independent comment and I enjoy your general lively contributions to Gransnet. The bad days will pass Bluebelle and I wish you all the best.

There are alot of us out there, single people living on their own and a lot of us not out of choice but out of necessity or circumstances. I hate those mornings when you wake up with those negative thoughts about the days or weeks to come. Before, when times were normal there was always something to occupy yourself and things that you arranged to look forward to. But, Now, what is there to do and the thing is there is no body to moan to or have your thoughts challenged and told to 'be thankful for what you have'.