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AIBU

AIBU to scream and panic when knocked over in the dark suddenly?

(163 Posts)
Lavazza1st Mon 09-Nov-20 14:41:27

Last night I walked along the road and suddenly a biggish dog ran out of a church gateway and knocked me flat on the ground. I fell and hurt my left side and screamed, then the dog ran off. The owner blamed me because he could not find his dog, but he had not had him on a lead in a public place.

I'm feeling really rubbish today because I wouldn't want someone to lose their dog, but also it's made me lose any confidence I did have about leaving the house. I'm well padded enough not to have any serious injury, but am sore from the fall.

Rmegan Tue 10-Nov-20 09:41:06

The majority of dog owners are very responsible and most of us love our dogs more than ourselves. My dog has never ever been allowed to run without a lead .

polnan Tue 10-Nov-20 09:50:34

oh gosh, yes, be kind to yourself..

do you do any meditation? I always thought of myself as a strongish person, but this anxiety has got hold of me...

just saying.

I wouldn`t go out after dark,, I have ensured that I get back as dusk falls if I am out late afternoon..

take it slowly is what I would do, a little bit and a little bit, ie. short walk,, build up your confidence again.

I am assuming your dog was with you when you were struck down, and on his/her lead?

I find most dog owners very careful where I walk

praying you get your confidence back very soon.

lots of hugs also

dogsmother Tue 10-Nov-20 09:50:34

Well feel obligated to comment as you can see by name !
I’m pretty certain I’d have squawked if taken down to the ground by surprise ...... however it is never correct as Ma has said, and my children were also brought up never to do, to scream and flap around dogs.
Most dog owners are responsible and not “bloody “ whatever that’s supposed to mean. In fact I’m pleased to say dog owners are among the best most go getting respectable generous and kind personable people I know. Because they know how to love and care and share.
They will also show mutual respect.

Pippa22 Tue 10-Nov-20 09:50:47

I think the man was being defensive because he knew he was in the wrong. I hope so anyway. I hope he helped you up and checked that you were o.k. But it doesn’t sound as if he would have. If that had been me I would have had difficulty getting up from the ground. Popping my head above the parapet here I will say that where I live there are regular comments from people who don’t like the way that dog owners allow their dogs to be off leads nearly all the time and when they run at people just say “ he likes you, he’s being friendly “ or “ the park is for dogs they are allowed to be off the lead and allowed to run around “ Never have I heard a dog owner acknowledge that other people are not automatically a dog lover. Back behind the parapet!! Sorry everyone but I have had too many trips to parks with small children spoilt by bounding dogs who like licking faces.

LuckyFour Tue 10-Nov-20 09:53:01

It made me furious that the owner blamed you for the dog knocking you over! How utterly rude. Don't concern yourself about the dog, look after yourself Lavazza1st.

MawB2 Tue 10-Nov-20 09:57:11

Hetty58

Marydoll, I doubt that he will - as he doesn't seem like a normal, reasonable human being to me. He probably believes that he's done nothing wrong at all.

Hetty how can you say that when we know nothing at all about the dog owner ?

And as for Rmegan’s assertion that the dog has pood and peed everywhere
This tale gets more exaggerated and loaded with assumptions with every post.

I walk Hattie up to the village churchyard every day to “visit” Paw who died 3 years ago today. She doesn’t pee and poo everywhere and nor do do any of the dogs I see passing through that corner as part of their walk through the fields beyond.

Dianehillbilly1957 Tue 10-Nov-20 09:58:36

How horrible for you. He should have rushed to help you up and been very apologetic, the onus is on him to be responsible for his dog especially as it was off lead. What a horrible person. His dog probably got a fright coming across you.
You could report it as he was in the wrong and verbally abusive & has frightened you a lot, it may make you feel better knowing the police are aware.. You and your dog will hopefully going out again soon, just give it time.x

Mamma7 Tue 10-Nov-20 10:02:18

I’m a dog owner and keep my dog on a retractable lead at all times so it really annoys me to see the number of dog owners who let their dogs loose and have no or little control over them. They always seem to think they have control too which increases my annoyance - after they’ve called their dog back 30x with no results they then blame everything else in the vicinity. Worse case scenario they could cause serious accidents with people, other animals and cars etc. Rant over!!

Miriam Tue 10-Nov-20 10:04:59

You are not being unreasonable at all, the dog owner is at fault not keeping his dog on a lead. The dog will find his way home with no lasting ill effects, unlike you. I hope you get your confidence back soon.

jucook Tue 10-Nov-20 10:07:05

Morning, your post caught my eye as a healthcare professional. I think it would be very normal to feel terrified. It wasn’t only the threat from the dog but also the man himself. You also say you have ptsd so your brain will be more prone to processing threat based info like this and interpreting it in the way it did before.
What you’re going through makes total sense and is completely normal
I notice you’ve in part blamed yourself, and it wasn’t your fault at all but your brain might say it is! Might be worth googling self compassion (Neff or Gilbert) to tackle this
Chase your mental health appt if you can some services are offering online EMDR smile
Finally it is best to go back out - start with the daytime and build it up so you go when it starts getting darker. See how you feel. Your dog is probably picking up on your emotions so if you do some calming breathing exercises regularly and before going out this will help!

jaylucy Tue 10-Nov-20 10:07:27

So the dog owner reckoned he had him on a lead and under control when you were knocked over? He's got rocks in his head!
Don't let this stop you from going out, just make sure the next time you do, it's in daylight if you can.

Athenia Tue 10-Nov-20 10:10:03

And whose responsibility is this? It is 100% with the dog owner. I am so sorry to hear that you have been shocked and knocked over, needing time to recover as the result of one irresponsible owner.
Please do report him to the police, who should go and warn him of the consequences if this were to continue.
It may make him realise that he was actually breaking the law by not having his dog under control.
I hope that you recover and are able to heal from this incident, and that it does not affect your freedom of movement in any way in future.

Notinthemanual Tue 10-Nov-20 10:15:31

Hi Lavazza1st I imagine if someone upright and in control of a situation with a strange dog, stopping the urge to scream is a possibility. If you're flat on your back, screaming will be instinctive. Add your PTSD to the mix... I don't see how anyone could expect anything else.
Please don't feel upset that he might not find his dog. Maybe the dog was making a break for it.
Joking apart, your concern is heart-warming, even though the man doesn't deserve it.
Please don't think your dog doesn't trust you, he/she may well pick up on your anxiety and want you both to avoid danger and stay home. But, I'm sure with short ventures out, perhaps a couple of times of day for ten minutes or so in daylight and you will both reclaim your confidence. Do you have a garden where you can walk your dog on the lead, to get used to the idea of lead walks being ok again?
It wasn't your fault, don't let the A hole get to you. Best wishes and a hug.

LauraNorder Tue 10-Nov-20 10:26:23

Well Lavazza, hope you’re feeling better today. What a bad experience. An over excited dog and an irresponsible owner causing so much grief.
Happily most dog owners including you are responsible and hopefully this won’t happen to you again so please take a deep breath and get out there like getting back on a horse.
Poor Marydoll suffered too as she apparently dreamed about your incident and I was put on the case to sort it out (in her dream). Weird times.
Hope you regain your confidence soon.

Milliemabel Tue 10-Nov-20 10:31:42

In my opinion, I think you should report the incident to non emergency police. This dog owner was irresponsible by having the dog off lead and in the dark. His priority should have been to make sure you were okay physically and mentally and to be profusely apologetic.
The fact now is your confidence has been impacted and will need nurturing until it is restored.
I hope you soon feel better but in no way must you take any blame in this whatsoever. You've been very unfortunate bumping into one of lifes' nasty characters. It speaks volumes that he transferred the blame on to you. Take care ?

Jillybird Tue 10-Nov-20 10:31:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allule Tue 10-Nov-20 10:40:46

Back to soap. Like everyone I know, I had gradually changed to shower gel and handwashing liquid, but with recent shortages, and guilt about unnecessary plastic, decided to try soap again, and find it so much easier! Only one hand needed, and no spillage.
I've gone back to.old favourites...Pears transparent, which lasts so long, and Wrights Coal Tar, which is softer, but makes me feel so clean!
I've even got a bar of green washing soap to use on stains before washing.

SynchroSwimmer Tue 10-Nov-20 10:48:10

My suggestion might or might not be helpful....
But do you have a local Facebook group for your immediate village/road/area?
If so, consider getting a friend or acquantance of yours, someone who doesn’t live near you, to post with details about the incident on there.
To tell others to be aware, to ask - does anyone know the owner of the dog, and that you are “being assessed for your injuries after being knocked to the ground in the dark” (it could potentially have been a nasty hip,knee, shoulder or head injury).....then locals will be aware, you may gain local support and maybe even the perpetrator himself will be outed (and made famous!) but you could be kept safely at arms length?

Luckygirl Tue 10-Nov-20 10:57:12

I am surrounded by lovely people who are excellent dog owners and applaud them for this.

But those few who do not take their responsibilities seriously really do adversely affect the lives of others; both other dog owners (and other dogs) and those who do not own dogs.

When I am out walking in the woods I do not know whether the dog growling its way towards me is safe; whether an owner is about to appear; whether that owner will be responsible and keep the dog from jumping all over me. Bad dog owners are a total menace.

I do not know whether the owner is similar to the one described in OP, or whether I am going to face someone who is responsible and keeps their dog under control.

It is a big problem for those who like to go out for a walk, are physically vulnerable (if I fell over there is no way I could get up) and do not know what they are going to meet up with on their walk.

In my experience, responsible dog owners are as annoyed by this sort of dreadful behaviour as non-owners.

Lavazza1st - I fully understand why this has made you lose confidence in going out. Every day when I go for my walk I feel wary of what I am going to meet. I hope you are feeling fully recovered now.

MaryGrand Tue 10-Nov-20 10:58:57

I was knocked over by a large labrador which the owner thought was very funny. I was very stiff for a few days and felt very upset. it wasn't the scary experience you had however, the owner really should have apologised. I owned a dog and I would have been mortified if it had casued someone to fall .

mrsgreenfingers56 Tue 10-Nov-20 11:02:44

In reply to Phoenix and Kalu I don't think a sweeping statement at all. The times I have been out walking and dog jumped up on me or scraping their paws on you, it just shouldn't happen, the owner needs to have the dog under control and not jumping up at people. The owner says to me the dog is only playing! Well I don't want the dog playing on me. I do have plenty of contact with dog owners Kalu and pleased to say the people I personally know have full control over their dogs (and children!) and well behaved dogs and children are a delight.

lilyH Tue 10-Nov-20 11:08:17

Hi, I would imagine that said owner and dog use this route with the open gate to the Church a lot as dog can run inside do its business and owner just has to wander along the road, probably doesn't know what a poo bag is. maybe have a word with the Church perhaps they could close the gates of an evening after all, the parishioners would not like to be stepping in it either. Hope you feel safe again soon x

Blossoming Tue 10-Nov-20 11:22:31

Hope you are feeling better this morning lavazza1st

Millitt64 Tue 10-Nov-20 11:22:50

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maddyone Tue 10-Nov-20 11:24:58

Glad to hear you’re feeling better Lavazza
To be honest, I would report this to the police, not because you were knocked over by the dog, although that is the height of irresponsible dog ownership, but because the dog owner followed you and threatened you. It’s lucky your partner was with you.